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Viral/Other Unemployment Check: Fireworks Psychopath


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Posted: June 28, 2007
Description: So it's not even 9 in the morning yet and I'm fully engaged in the daily... (more)
Description: So it's not even 9 in the morning yet and I'm fully engaged in the daily struggle required to foist myself out of bed for another day of making smart-assy remarks about famous people, and I turn on Today hoping to siphon off enough of their over-caffeinated fake morning show energy to hold me together until I can get a triple espresso down my gullet, and some woman in shoulder pads who looks like every elementary school teacher I ever hated is droning on about fireworks safety (it's almost 4th of July already?) and suddenly there are these smiling mannequin children, but they're burning, just standing there, on fire, and I decide maybe I'm still dreaming and this is really about my maturity issues, but then she starts pulling out M-80's and blowing fake hands off, and it's too much so I give up and fall back into the safety and sanity of my slumber. I don't know what happened next, but I'd guess she cruelly killed a couple of frogs and finally called it a day. (less)

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