CineMassacre CineMassacre: Top 10 Star Trek Technobabbles

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  • Astro*Zombies.mp3
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    1. Astro*Zombies.mp3 Posted on Sep 23 '08 at 6:56 PM

    Cant beat data when it comes to technobabble.

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  • wooite
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    2. wooite Posted on Sep 24 '08 at 3:56 AM

    i need technobabble for dummies

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  • EdSigma's Profile
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    3. EdSigma Posted on Sep 24 '08 at 11:56 AM

    Nice selection, but really, for the full goldmine of ridiculous technobabble, you have to turn to Star Trek Voyager. It seemed like every other sentence in that was technobabble, made even more laughable by the sheer stupidity of some of the plots it was trying to justify (like one where somehow going faster than warp ten turns you into a newt). If you looked at Voyager, you could easily form a top hundred list! Still, good one, though I'm surprised that none of the lines feature one of my favourite bits of Treknobabble, the Hisenberg Compensator.



    Say, isn't that Howlin' Mad Murdoch at number one?

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  • Ohmaar's Profile
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    4. Ohmaar Posted on Sep 24 '08 at 12:06 PM

    Most of those clips made perfect sense to me. The conversations between Riker and the Ferengi, and the one between Barkley and Riker were *supposed* to be techno-BS.



    Full disclosure: I work in the field of theoretical physics, so maybe it's just me.

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  • Ryan Lohner's Profile
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    5. Ryan Lohner Posted on Sep 24 '08 at 12:22 PM

    Mostly a good list but a couple problems:



    Tachyons are a real thing (well, a real theory anyway) which naturally move faster than light and actually have to speed up to approach the speed of light, which could somehow allow time travel.



    Data leaving that complex password protection makes perfect sense; who the hell would be able to break in and stop him?



    The rascals clip is deliberately over the top technobabble, as Riker is just making up a bunch of complicated stuff to confuse the Ferengi that have invaded the ship.

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  • WoodyAllen
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    6. WoodyAllen Posted on Sep 24 '08 at 3:03 PM

    Never really got into Star Trek, but this video was fun to watch anyways :)

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  • Ozz4's Profile
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    7. Ozz4 Posted on Sep 24 '08 at 4:36 PM

    Voyager is my favorite star Trek and it defiantly got the reputation as having the most extreme science, I'm kind of surprised it's not on the list. Where as a lot of modern technology comes from comes directly from inventions in Star Trek and Star Trek TNG, it'll be decades before most of the ideas in Voyager will be doable or even necessary. I didn¿t really find this funny, maybe it¿s because I¿m so familiar with the series, I mean I know what¿s going on in those situations and I have a pretty strong understanding of science (enough to under stand what they trying to say) or maybe it¿s because ST in any of it¿s forms never lent it self to comedy, it¿s very dry and serous so when a joke does come along it dern near knocks you off your seat (a blind man teaching an Android how to paint), and don¿t get me started on Q.

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  • WinterSnowblind's Profile
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    8. WinterSnowblind Posted on Sep 24 '08 at 5:05 PM

    Yeah, sorry, but you cheated a little with a couple of those. Like was said, the clip from Rascals, were Riker was talking to the Ferengi was just complete BS, Riker was trying to confuse him, so he wouldn't have any idea what he was talking about.

    Similarily, the last clip was from when Barclay became ridiculously intelligent, to the point were even the rest of the crew had no idea what he was talking about.

    But still, great video :)

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  • Raptortim
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    9. Raptortim Posted on Sep 24 '08 at 5:17 PM

    Does not compute. Does not compute!

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  • indielectric's Profile
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    10. indielectric Posted on Sep 24 '08 at 7:13 PM

    James, i'm a huge fan, bought all your merch off screwattack, but as a graduate with a bachelor of science and bachelor of engineering, i have to say that those scientific explanations are maybe 5% of the time made up, ie making up a new form of undiscovered mineral, but those explanations are plausible at the very least, in fact, in theoretical science some universities use star trek tng and star trek voyager as in class examples of theoretical scientology, i see where you're coming from, and the technobabble can be exhausting, but it's far from made up. and the number one episode where the clip is taken from is titled "The Nth Degree", not "The 9th Degree", 'Nth' meaning an infinite amount or an immeasurable number which when exponentially applied to anything else becomes inconceivably massive , keep the videos coming!

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  • Jericho6969
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    11. Jericho6969 Posted on Sep 25 '08 at 7:03 AM

    Cool top ten countdown.

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  • thirsty_monkey's Profile
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    12. thirsty_monkey Posted on Sep 25 '08 at 7:42 AM

    You know what's really pathetic? Well, it's two thing really a) I own the book you got that map the romulan empire out of and b) I understood most of the technobable. I was dangerously in love with trek as a kid and well into my teens. I owned tons of tech manuals, two copies of the Star Trek Encyclopedia and I had seen every episode of trek from every series multiple times, including the animated series. In a way this is alot more nostalgic to me than most of your game reviews, trek was a massive part of my childhood. The funny thing is I can barelly stand to watch any of it now, with the exception of TOS or TNG. I've almost completelly dumbed Star Trek in favor of Doctor Who which spends alot less time trying to mind fuck you into submission with technospeak and spends alot more time on developing interesting and unique stories. But I digress, the TNG technobabble isn't actually all that made up. It actually is based on somewhat steady grounds using real world concepts, plus it was structured in such a way as to keep the trekkies happy with consistency. It didn't really start getting out of hand in my opionion until Voyager, and it was just ludricous in that series. In TNG they might have actual character development and story but in Voyager they might as well have just replaced them robots that spewed nothing but techno bullshit. Might have been a more compelling series then. Anyway, this is a really long post so I'll wrap it up by saying this was a pretty damn good list.

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  • MeratUGA's Profile
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    13. MeratUGA Posted on Sep 25 '08 at 10:56 AM

    Can you really consider it "techno-babble" if it's real science?

    "Matter/Anti-matter" (said with confused, disbelieving tone). Yes, Matter/Anti-matter. Far from being a nonsense scifi concept, this is an everyday field of study on modern-day Earth. We even use antimatter in medicine. Hospitals routinely create antimatter particles for positron emission tomography, an increasingly used medical scanner. A couple of examples later, Data mentions his positronic net. Positrons were the first hard proof that antimatter existed, and were discovered and named in the early 1930s.

    "A what pulse?" Tachyon, theoretical particles that are capable of faster-than-light speeds.

    Is a complex password REALLY technobabble?

    I once attended a lecture by Freeman Dyson, and many of the terms and concepts he used were ones I had never heard of and didn't really understand. That doesn't make them technobabble, just complex.

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  • goodxxgod's Profile
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    14. goodxxgod Posted on Sep 25 '08 at 12:07 PM

    Anti-Matter and Matter are what make the Warp Nacels....GO!

    What's a Warp Nacel you may very well ask?

    It's those to long thingies on either side of the hindquarters of each ship that propels the ship into Warp.

    I take it though this was made more for fun though, since some of the clips (or atleast one or two) deal with some of the basics of Star Trek that really 'shouldn't' go over the head of a fan....or atleast most fans. If you aren't interested or haven't picked up on atleast the basics (believe me, I'm no scientist) most things in Star Trek are atleast explained on a level where you'd understand the desired result even if you don't understand the science behind it.

    Then again, this was just a fun little video poking fun at the extreme amount of technobabble in Star Trek, especially the kind that could very well turn people off of ever becoming fans of the shows. Good Video! P.S. Barclay is THE MAN!

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  • DarkNSF
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    15. DarkNSF Posted on Sep 30 '08 at 10:32 PM

    excellent video!

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  • Brian_Real
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    16. Brian_Real Posted on Oct 8 '08 at 8:36 PM

    Damn I love Star Trek nerds! Unlike Star Wars nerds whose understanding of science and technology is equal to the level of Koko the Guerrilla, you can count on Trekkies/Trekkers to be real scientists, engineers, and braniacs. I love Star Trek!

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  • deadline93's Profile
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    17. deadline93 Posted on Dec 28 '08 at 10:19 AM

    isent number ten the simpel form of how a nucler blast happens

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  • hidan618's Profile
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    18. hidan618 Posted on Jan 1 '09 at 10:03 PM

    brain....... fried ...... shoot me ......100101001111001101011

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  • HolyReaperX01's Profile
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    19. HolyReaperX01 Posted on Jan 15 '09 at 1:43 PM

    star trek......the forefather of technobabble..........who is it's grandchild in the sci-fi franchises.....star gate........do a video of it then i'll be happy.....do a vs. video and i'll be X-TREMELY happy....[im a nerd]..... of course it would be pointless unless u shit talked it like every thing else even though you'ld probably be incorrect ur videos just aren't the same without it...

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  • The_OLF's Profile
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    20. The_OLF Posted on Jan 17 '09 at 3:09 PM

    Great video, more of this ¿ it will NEVER get old with Star Trek spoofs. Personally I never got caught in Star Trek, but always wondered what would happen if Ogre from "Revenge of the Nerds" would board the Enterprise¿

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  • andrucks's Profile
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    21. andrucks Posted on Jan 20 '09 at 1:37 PM

    This got to be the nerdiest clipp on the internett (not abad thing) :P

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Posted: September 23, 2008
Description: CineMassacre's James Rolfe explores the ridiculously made-up world of Star... (more)
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