Exploding Bowling Ball

  • Season 3
  • Aired 03/19/2012
  • 9,094 Views

A man dies when shrapnel from a shattered bowling ball penetrates his Medulla Oblongata

- JARED AND HIS FRIENDSARE HIPSTERS,

WHICH IS ANOTHER WAYTO SAY, "USELESS SLACKERS."

THEY'RE ALLIN THE SAME FILM CLASS

AND THINK THEY CANJUMPSTART A CAREER

WITH SOME COOL,ONLINE VIDEOS.

- YEAH.

- OH!

- THEIR FORMULA FOR SUCCESS:

A COUPLE QUARTS OF BEERAND A CHEAP, HIGH-SPEED CAMERA.

- DUDE, GET A SHOTOF HER DRINKING.

- YEAH.

- A BUSTY HIPSTER CHICKCHUGGING BEER IN SLOW MOTION

SHOULD GET THEMAT LEAST A MILLION HITS.

- [laughs]

- USING A BRIDGEFOR A LAUNCHING PLATFORM,

THEY POSITION THE CAMERADOWN BELOW, AND IT'S BOMBS AWAY.

- LET HER RIP.

- FIRST, THEY SACRIFICEA JUICY WATERMELON.

THEN, THEY PULL THE PLUGON AN OLD TV SET.

- YEAH!

- LAST ON THEIRSHOT LIST...

- WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?

WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?- GOT A BOWLING BALL.

- A BOWLING BALL,OH, MY GOD.

IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME.

- FROM 80 FEET ABOVE,THE BALL DROPS.

- AAH!- OH!

- AND THE POSERFILMMAKERS BOWL...

- OH, MY GOD.

- A PERFECT STRIKE.- OH, NO.

- [screams]

YOU KILLED HIM!

- THE BOWLING BALL HITTHE GROUND AT 71 MILES PER HOUR

AND SHATTERED.

ONE SHARD BORED DEEPINTO HIS MEDULLA OBLONGATA,

WHICH CONTROLSORGAN FUNCTION.

HIS DEATHWAS INSTANTANEOUS.

all: CHUG, CHUG, CHUG,CHUG, CHUG, CHUG--

IT'S A PRETTY CYNICAL BUNCHOVER HERE AT 1,000 WAYS TO DIE.

WE'RE NOT ABOUT TO SHEDANY TEARS FOR ONE DEAD HIPSTER.

WE'LL LET HER DO IT.

- YOU KILLED HIM!

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