He Has A Perverted Tattoo On His Arm

  • Season 2
  • Aired 02/20/2014
  • 1,083 Views

When a slim-witted young man with no friends tries to fit in with the guys up the street, he agrees to get a tattoo. He picks out what he believes is a "ninja star," but soon finds that he has a permanent symbol of hate. THEN, he tried to get it covered, with a new symbol-- that isn't much better.

- ALL RIGHT, MY MAN.

HOW DID YOU GET THISON YOU, MAN?

- HERE I AM, 15 YEARS OLD,WITH A DAMN MULLET HAIRCUT.

YOU KNOWI DIDN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS.

- [laughs]- EXACTLY.

THERE WAS SOME GUYSTHAT LIVED UP THE STREET,

THE COOL KIDS, YOU KNOW.

- HEY, GUYS,WHAT'S GOING ON?

- 'SUP, BITCH?- [chuckles]

- WE'RE LIKE FOUR PEASIN A POD.

- ONE OF THEM STOPPED MEAND SAID,

"WE'RE FIXING TO GO IN HEREAND RUN A TATTOO ON THIS GUY."

- WHY DON'T YOU COME ON INAND WATCH?

- YOU GUYS ARE MY BEST FRIENDS.- OH, YEAH.

- I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER,BUT I WANTED TO FIT IN.

- HERE, CHECK OUTTHESE 'TOOS I GOT.

- THERE WAS THIS ONE DESIGN.

IT WAS THE SMALLEST ONEON THE PIECE OF PAPER.

- HEY, HOW ABOUT THIS LITTLE ONERIGHT HERE, THIS NINJA STAR?

WAH! WAH![all shout]

[laughter]

- HEY, JERRY, I'D LOVETO GIVE YOU THIS NINJA STAR.

- THAT'S WHAT THAT USED TO BE?- YES.

- YOU REALLY DID NOT KNOWWHAT THE HELL A SWASTIKA WAS?

- I SWEAR TO GOD.- [groans]

- IT HURTSBEING A COOL KID, DON'T IT?

- I'M A WARRIOR.WAH! WAH!

- ABOUT THREE, FOUR DAYSAFTER GETTING THIS DAMN TATTOO,

MY MOM'S IN THE LIVING ROOM,AND MY MOTHER FREAKS OUT.

- [gasps]- NO, MAMA. NO!

- SHE DRAGS MEINTO THE KITCHEN,

AND SHE STARTS DUMPINGLEMON JUICE ON MY ARM.

SHE GRABS THE BRILLO PAD...

- OH!- AND SCRUBS.

- OW!STOP IT, MAMA.

- HOLD YOUR ARM STILL.- [screams]

IT'S A NINJA STAR.

- DAMN!

- THE MOST PAINI'VE EVER FELT IN MY LIFE.

ABOUT TWO YEARS LATER,A GUY MOVES IN NEXT DOOR.

HE'S LIKE, "LOOK, YOU KNOW,I THINK I CAN HELP YOU."

SO HE TOLD MEHE COULD FIX IT.

- HELL, YEAH.

- ABOUT TWO HOURS LATER,HE'S DONE.

- CHECK IT OUT, HUH?

- I LOOK OVERAT THIS THING, GUS.

AND WHEN I SEE THE 69,I'M LIKE...

- DAMN IT!

YOU JUST CHANGED MEFROM A RACIST TO A PERVERT.

- WELL, YOU SAY THATLIKE IT'S A BAD THING.

- YOU CAN'T WIN, MAN.- I CANNOT WIN.

- THAT'S A CRAZY STORY,DUDE.

LIKE, I CAN'T BELIEVETHAT HAPPENED TO YOU TWICE.

- AND, GUS, I'M NOT RACIST,AND I'M NOT A PERVERT.

- WE'RE GONNA TRY TO GET RIDOF THIS THING FOR YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

Loading...