Speaker Trouble

  • Season 3
  • Aired 08/01/2011
  • 16,817 Views

A Tea Party “mama grizzly” is firing up her fellow patriots when her wired microphone causes a speaker tripod to tip, and she is crushed by the amplifier.

- YEAH!

announcer: THEY CALLED HER"MUSKET MARY."

- DO YOU LOVE AMERICA?

announcer: SHE WAS RUNNINGFOR MAYOR IN A SMALL TOWN

IN THE MIDWEST.

- WE'RE GONNA TAKE BACKTHIS COUNTRY!

[cheers and applause]

announcer: SHE HAD ZEROPOLITICAL EXPERIENCE...

- GOT SOME PROBLEMSIN THIS COUNTRY, YEAH?

announcer: NO KNOWLEDGEOF HISTORY OR GOVERNMENT...

- FREEDOM GOOD, YEAH!

announcer:WHICH EXPLAINS HER POPULARITY

WITH THE LOCAL TEA PARTY.

- WHOO-HOO!

- THE TEA PARTY MOVEMENTCUTS ACROSS

ALL THE DIFFERENT LINES THATMAKE UP THE AMERICAN PEOPLE--

GENDER LINES, INCOME LINES,

REGIONAL LINES,A LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING.

IT'S A HUGE GROUP OF PEOPLE

WHO ARE ANGRY WITHTHE LIBERAL AMERICA GOVERNMENT

THEY FEELIS TRYING TO CONTROL

MORE ASPECTS OF THEIR LIFEEVERY SINGLE DAY.

announcer: THE MORE SOBER-MINDEDPOLITICAL OBSERVERS

THOUGHT MARY TO BECERTIFIABLY INSANE.

- YEAH! WHOO!

THEY BAIL OUT THESE--THESE--THESE BANKS!

announcer:BUT HER MACHINE-GUN MOUTH...

- ALL THESE CEOs RUNNING OFFWITH BAZILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

IT'S A NUMBER.LOOK IT UP.

announcer:AND MUSKET PROP...

- WHOO-HOO![gunshot]

YEAH-HOO!

announcer: WHIPPEDHER SUPPORTERS INTO A FRENZY.

TONIGHTMARY AND HER MUSKET

WERE FIRINGON ALL CYLINDERS.

- WE'RE GONNA RUN THOSEPOLITICIANS OUT OF WASHINGTON

THROUGH THE BALLOT BOX

OR WITH THE ENDOF A MUSKET!

[cheers and applause]YEAH-HA-HA!

announcer:BUT THEN SOMETHING DISLODGED

INSIDE HER BRAIN.- [slurring] FREEDOM.

announcer: AND MUSKET MARY...

all: OH!

announcer: BLEW A GASKET.

- [screams]

[overlapping murmurs]

- SHE WAS SO EXCITED

THAT SHE ACTUALLY DEVELOPEDA HEMORRHAGIC STROKE,

BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENSIS THEIR BLOOD PRESSURE

GOES WAY UP.

AND IF YOU HAVE A WEAK SPOTIN ONE OF THE ARTERIES,

IT'LL RUPTURE, AND BLOOD WILLBE POURED OUT INTO THE BRAIN.

SHE BECAME VERY FAINTAND FELL ON A SHARP BAYONET,

SLICING RIGHT THROUGHTHE BRAIN-STEM ARTERY,

CAUSING IMMEDIATEDEATH AND HEMORRHAGE.

announcer:THIS JUST IN--

EARLIER THIS EVENINGAT A MIDWEST POLITICAL RALLY...

- FREEDOM GOOD!

announcer: A CANDIDATEKNOWN AS MUSKET MARY

IMPALED HERSELFON HER BAYONET.

[all gasp]

AT THIS POINTIT IS BEING CALLED

AN ACCIDENTALSELF-ASSASSINATION.

STAY TUNEDFOR FURTHER UPDATES.

Captioning by CaptionMaxwww.captionmax.com

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