Flashbite

Season 3 2:43

A stingy apartment dweller decides to co-opt his neighbor’s satellite service by splicing the rooftop satellite dish, but he falls… with a SCREWDRIVER clenched in his mouth.

LIFE IN A BIG CITYCAN OFFER INTERESTING CONTRASTS.

PHILLIP IS A SQUATTER LIVINGIN A CONDEMNED BUILDING.

ACROSS THE ALLEY,

A RENOVATED LOFT BUILDINGFILLED WITH YUPPIES.

TO POWER HIS GHETTO PAD,PHILLIP STEALS ELECTRICITY.

BUT, EVER SINCE THE TELEVISIONBROADCAST SIGNAL WENT DIGITAL,

HE GOT NOTHING BUT SNOWON HIS ANTENNA-RIGGED T.V.

THE MONEYED HIPSTERSACROSS THE ALLEY

WERE HAPPILY HOOKED UPWITH CABLE.

PHILLIP DECIDEDIT WAS TIME TO TAP THEIR BOX.

- WHEN YOU GO TO LOCATIONSFOR HOOK UP, IT'S VERY OFTEN,

I WOULD SAY PROBABLYABOUT 25% OF THE TIME,

YOU SEE SOME KIND OF TAMPERINGOR ILLEGAL HOOKUP OF SOME KIND.

THE NATIONAL CABLE TELEVISIONASSOCIATION HAS ESTIMATED

THAT THEY LOSE APPROXIMATELY$5.1 BILLION ANNUALLY DUE TO--

TO CABLE THEFT.

- PHILLIP PICKEDTHE PERFECT TIME

TO HACKHIS NEIGHBOR'S LINE UNDETECTED.

THEY WERE WATCHINGANOTHER MARATHON

OF THEIR FAVORITE T.V. SHOW,

SOMETHING CALLED 1000 WAYS TO DIE.

[both laughing]

- IT WAS SHOWS LIKE THIS THATMADE PHILLIP HUNGER FOR CABLE.

[over T.V.]BUT SHE BIT OFF

MORE THAN SHE COULD CHEW.

[both laughing]

HIS PLAN WASTO SPLIT THEIR COAXIAL LINE

SO EVERYBODY COULD BE HAPPY.

BUT HE WAS HARDLYA QUALIFIED TECHNICIAN.

- WHAT THE HELL?YOU PAY THE BILL?

- OF COURSE I PAID THE BILL.

- THE DESPERATE SQUATTERWAS ABOUT TO TAP INTO

OVER 1000 CHANNELS,WITH PREMIUM MOVIES

AND 3D OPTIONS, AT NO COST.

[thud]

- WHAT WAS THAT?

- BUT THERE'S ALWAYSA HIDDEN COST.

IN PHILLIP'S CASE, HIS LIFE.

- [screams]

- WHEN THE MAN FELLONTO HIS SCREWDRIVER,

THE SCREWDRIVER PASSEDTHROUGH HIS THROAT

AND INTO HIS BRAIN STEM.

IT COMPLETELY DISRUPTEDHIS CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM.

HIS HEARTBEAT STOPPED,HIS BREATHING STOPPED,

AND HIS LIFE STOPPED.

- PHILLIP TRIEDTO STEAL SOMEONE'S CABLE

SO HE COULD WATCH 1000 WAYS TO DIE.

BUT STEALING CABLE T.V.IS WRONG.

IN THE END, HE WOUND UPPROVIDING 1000 WAYS TO DIE

A GOOD STORY.

THANKS, PHILLIP.

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