Buzz-Ted

  • Season 3
  • Aired 08/08/2011
  • 18,906 Views

An engaged man who cheats on his fiancé with a sushi-covered stripper at his bachelor party dies from a shard of toilet porcelin in his rectum.

- ALL RIGHT, JASON,COME ON, BUDDY.

announcer: MEET JASON.

HIS LIFE, AS HE KNOWS IT,IS ABOUT TO END.

- I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING.

announcer:HE'S GETTING MARRIED.

[cheering]

TONIGHT IS HIS LAST NIGHTOF FREEDOM AND FUN--

HIS BACHELOR PARTY.

- YOU LOOK DELICIOUS.

announcer: FIRST THINGON THE MENU--DINNER,

AND JASON LIKED IT RAW.

- YEAH!

- I THINK THEY EXPECT MOREAT A BACHELOR PARTY

THAN THEY DO IN A CLUBBECAUSE, YOU KNOW,

YOU MAKE THE RULES.

IN THESE SITUATIONS,

GUYS ARE DEFINITELYMORE AGGRESSIVE.

THEY'RE MORE HANDSY.

IT HAS TO BE SOMETHINGREALLY OUT THERE

FOR ME TO SLAP SOMEBODY,

BUT, UM, YEAH,I'VE DONE IT.

[laughs]

- I SAY WE JUST DANCERIGHT HERE, YOU KNOW?

announcer: MEALTIMEWAS LONG OVER.

- YOU ARE A NAUGHTY BOY.- I AM, I AM. I'M NAUGHTY.

- YOU'RE VERY,VERY NAUGHTY.

announcer: BUT JASON WASSTILL HUNGRY FOR MORE.

- I'LL BE--I'LL BE BACK.

IT MIGHT BE A WHILE.

BABY.

- JASON, GET OUT OF HERE.WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOUR FRIENDSARE RIGHT OUTSIDE.

announcer: HAVING SEXIN A BATHROOM

WITH A DRUNK BACHELORWAS NOT PART OF

THIS PARTY GIRL'SJOB DESCRIPTION.

- JASON! JASON!

announcer: SHE DID HER BESTTO HOLD OFF THE HORN DOG

UNTIL FATE STEPPED IN...

- AAH!- AAH!

announcer: AND FLUSHEDTHIS LOSER DOWN THE DRAIN...

- HELP! AAH!

announcer: FOREVER.

A COMBINATION OF WATERAND AIR PRESSURE

HAD BUILT UP DUE TO SOMEREPAIR WORK BEING DONE

ON THE HOTEL'S PLUMBING.

WHEN JASON ACCIDENTALLYFLUSHED THE TOILET,

A HUNDRED POUNDSPER SQUARE INCH

OF BUILT-UP PRESSUREBLEW THE LID OFF

AND SENT IT FLYING

AND RESULTEDIN A GIANT SHARD

GOING STRAIGHT UP HIS ASS.

TWO MINUTES AND SIX PINTSOF LOST BLOOD LATER,

HE WAS DEAD.

- WHEN HE FELL ONTO THE PIECEAND IT ENTERED HIS RECTUM,

IT WOULD HAVE CAUSEDMASSIVE LACERATIONS.

AS HE WAS STRUGGLING, HE COULDHAVE WORKED THAT PIECE

INTO HIS SIGMOID COLON,RIPPING THROUGH THE TISSUES,

CAUSING HIM TO DIEOF MASSIVE BLEEDING.

announcer: JASON WAS A PIGDISGUISED AS A HUMAN BEING.

- YOU LOOK DELICIOUS.

announcer: HE DIDHIS FIANCEE A HUGE FAVOR.

- GET OUT OF HERE.WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

announcer:HE TURNED "I DO"...

- AAH!- AAH!

announcer:INTO "I DEAD."

- HELP!

Loading...