Pipe Snake

Season 3, Ep 10 3:04

A boa constrictor sleeping in a furnace's ventilation duct causes the death of a rock chick by carbon monoxide poisoning.

- HERE'SYOUR CRAPPY MUSIC!

announcer:TINA WAS DETERMINED

TO SCREW HER WAYTO THE TOP.

- YOU'RE MY EVERYTHING!- MORE CRAPPY MUSIC!

announcer:WHEN SHE FOUND OUT

HER BOYFRIEND'SRECORD DEAL FELL THROUGH,

SHE THREW HIMAND HIS STUFF OUT THE DOOR.

- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOWTO MAKE ANY GOOD MUSIC!

announcer: HER HOT BODYWAS FOR PLAYTIME,

BUT ONLY FOR DUDESWHO GOT AIRTIME.

ASS[...]!- AAH!

announcer: HER LATEST EXLEFT IN SUCH A HURRY,

HE FORGOT HIS PETBOA CONSTRICTOR...

- THAT'S RIGHT.GOOD RIDDANCE, LOSER!

announcer: WHICH DECIDEDTO PUT THE SQUEEZE

ON THEOPPORTUNISTIC GROUPIE.

- LET GO OF ME!

- [grunts]

- THE BOA CONSTRICTORCONSTRICTED AROUND HER NECK

BECAUSE IT WAS AFRAIDOF FALLING.

THAT'S WHAT BOAS DO.

THEY HANG ONTO TREES.

THE 12 POUNDSPER SQUARE INCH PRESSURE

THAT A BOA CAN PUTAROUND YOUR NECK

IS VERY MUCH LIKETHE POLICE THROAT CHOKE.

YOU'RE GONNA BE A DEAD MONKEYIN ABOUT TEN MINUTES.

- [coughing and gasping]

GET OFF ME!

announcer: THE SNAKE WASNO MATCH FOR THIS MEDUSA,

BUT THIS WASTHE ONLY HOME HE KNEW,

SO HE FOUND A WAY BACK IN.

THAT NIGHT, TINA, WHO SEEMEDTO LIVE IN HER UNDERWEAR,

CRANKED UP THE HEATAND HIT THE BOTTLE.

MEANWHILE, THE BOAHAD SNAKED HIS WAY

IN A WARM EXHAUST VENT ONITS WAY BACK INTO THE HOUSE.

AS TIME PASSED,TINA BEGAN TO FEEL DIZZY

AND NAUSEOUS.

SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS JUSTGETTING A GOOD BUZZ ON,

BUT NOT THIS TIME.

THIS TIME,THE LOW-RENT SKANK

STAGGERED AROUNDHER GHETTO PAD,

TOPPLED OVER, AND DIED.

GAS FURNACES PRODUCEDEADLY CARBON MONOXIDE

THAT IS USUALLY CARRIEDOUT OF THE HOUSE

THROUGHA VENTILATION DUCT.

LITTLE DID SHE KNOW,HER BOYFRIEND'S SNAKE

HAD PARKED ITSELFIN THE DUCT,

TRAPPING THE LETHAL GASINSIDE.

AS IT FILLED THE HOUSE,TINA WAS EXPOSED

TO A CO CONCENTRATION

OF AS MUCH AS 1,600 PARTSPER MILLION.

- SOMEONE WHO'SDRINKING ALCOHOL

AND ALSO IN THE PRESENCEOF CARBON MONOXIDE

COULD EASILY CONFUSETHE TWO SYMPTOMS,

BECAUSE THEY BOTHCAN CAUSE HEADACHE,

DROWSINESS, NAUSEA.

AS YOU BREATHE INCARBON MONOXIDE,

IT BINDS TO THE HEMOGLOBININ YOUR BLOOD VERY STRONGLY,

WHICH WILL NOT ALLOW THATHEMOGLOBIN TO BIND OXYGEN,

AND YOU WILL BASICALLYSUFFOCATE YOUR BODY,

AND THAT WILLLEAD TO DEATH.

- GET YOUR THINGSAND GET OUT!

- TINA WAS A HARD-BODIEDROCK HO

WITH A NASTY MEAN STREAK.

- THAT'S RIGHT.GOOD RIDDANCE, LOSER!

announcer: IF SHEHADN'T BEEN SO MEAN,

SHE WOULDN'T BE SO DEAD.

ROCK ON, BITCH.

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