Gum's the Word

  • Season 3
  • Aired 08/09/2010
  • 4,484 Views

Raul likes dating older women, but he never realized just how hazardous to your health they can be.

THE ELDERLY OFTEN HAVE TO RELYUPON THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS,

PEOPLE LIKE RAOUL.

- YOU CAN'T IMAGINE.

- LET ME HELP YOU,LET ME HELP YOU.

announcer: A MALE NURSEWHO MAKES HOUSE CALLS

CAN BE A GODSEND.

- YOU DO REMIND MEOF BETTE DAVIS.

- OH, REALLY?THAT'S SO SWEET.

announcer: BUT RAOUL'SNOT JUST A NURSE.

HE'S A PARASITE,

AND HE'S HERETO SUCK GERTIE DRY...

OF HER BANK ACCOUNT,HER JEWELRY,

AND WHATEVER ELSEHE CAN GET HIS SLIMY HANDS ON.

[dog whines]

GERTIE WAS AN EASY TARGETFOR HIS SLEAZEBALL CHARM.

- OH, IT'S SO ROMANTIC,ISN'T IT?

announcer: RAOUL WAS READYTO BUST A MOVE,

BUT FIRST, GERTIEHAD TO GET COMFORTABLE.

[wig crinkles]- WHOOPS.

OH.

[sexy music]

announcer: STICKING HIS TONGUEDOWN A ROTTEN PIE HOLE

HAD HIM SPITTING UPIN HIS MOUTH.

[loud kiss]

- OH, OKAY, I--LISTEN,I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

announcer: THE GUM JOB PROVED TOBE MORE THAN HE COULD STOMACH.

- OH!

announcer:RAOUL GRABBED ANYTHING

THAT MIGHT GIVE HIMRELIEF.

WHAT RAOUL TOOK FOR MINTS

WERE ACTUALLYDENTURE-WHITENING TABLETS.

- DENTURE TABLETS CONTAINSODIUM BORATE

AND POTASSIUMMONOPERSULFITE,

BOTH OF WHICH AREVERY STRONG OXIDIZING AGENTS.

announcer: RAOUL GULPED DOWNA GLASS OF WATER

THAT TURNED OUT TO BEMORE DISSOLVED DENTURE CLEANER.

[glass shatters]

- THE OXIDIZING AGENTS THATARE SO GOOD AT REMOVING STAINS

AND BREAKING UP STAINS,

ACTUALLY DO THATTO YOUR TISSUE.

IT BREAKS UP THE MEMBRANESIN YOUR CELLS.

- [choking]

[soft piano music]

announcer: THE TOXIC CHEMICALS

NOT ONLY TORE UPRAOUL'S DIGESTIVE SYSTEM,

THEY PREVENTEDHIS RED BLOOD CELLS

FROM CARRYING OXYGEN.

IN SIX MINUTES, HIS MAJOR ORGANSWERE SHUTTING DOWN.

AT MINUTE TEN,HIS OXYGEN-STARVED HEART

STOPPED BEATING.

- LET ME HELP YOU,LET ME HELP YOU.

announcer: RAOUL WAS A FAKE

WHO LIEDTO GET WHAT HE WANTED.

IN THE END, YOU COULD SAYHE DIED OF...

TRUTH DECAY.

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