In Farm's Way

  • Season 3
  • Aired 08/02/2011
  • 16,638 Views

A mischievous couple of deliquents is messing around with farm equipment when the boyfriend gets his chest punctured by a "CAPTIVE BOLT" CATTLE-PISTOL.

WHEN STEVE AND JERRYGOT PICKED UP

FOR GRAND THEFT AUTO,

THEY WERE SENTENCEDTO 60 DAYS ON A WORK FARM.

SOON ENOUGH,THEY WERE YOUNG, DUMB,

AND SURROUNDED BY DUNG.

- HEY, HORSE.- HEY.

- COME HERE.YOU WANT A CIGARETTE?

- TYPICALLY,A WORK FARM WOULD HOUSE

80 TO 120 OFFENDERSAT ANY GIVEN TIME.

THE MOST SUCCESSFUL OFFENDERSARE THOSE THAT ARE WILLING

TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLEFOR THEIR CRIMES.

FOR THOSE OFFENDERS THAT CAN'TEVEN COMPLETE THE WORK PROGRAM,

USUALLY THE COURTWILL COME BACK

AND SENTENCE THEM TO SOMETHINGMORE DRASTIC.

- FOR THESE SCREW-UPS,LIFE DOWN ON THE FARM...

- YO! YOU COULD'VEKILLED ME WITH THAT!

announcer: WASA LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION.

- [laughs]

announcer: IT WOULDN'T BEA FARM STORY

WITHOUT A FARMER'S DAUGHTER.

- WHAT IS THIS?IT'S ONE OF THOSE MILKERS.

announcer: SHE SHOWS UPJUST IN TIME

TO KEEP THE TWO DELINQUENTSFROM HURTING THEMSELVES.

- HI, GUYS.PLEASE DON'T TOUCH THAT.

THAT'S--THAT'S NOT A TOY.

announcer: WHEN YOU DON'T KNOWWHAT YOU'RE DOING,

THE FARM CAN BEJUST AS DANGEROUS

AS THE STREET.

- MAN, FORGET THE LEMONADE.I WANT SOME MILK, MAMA.

COME ON, COME HERE.COME ON, LEMME HAVE A LITTLE--

- NO, THAT'S NOT--- IT'S NO BIG DEAL. LOOK...

I'M GONNA DO IT TO MYSELF.

- OH! OH! OH, OH!- [shrieking]

- WHEN THE CAPTIVE BOLT GUNIS PLACED

AGAINST THE FOREHEADOF A COW,

THE PRESSURE INVOLVEDIN MOVING THIS BOLT

INTO THE BRAIN OF A COWTHROUGH A 1/2-INCH OF SKULL

IS ABOUT 100 POUNDSPER SQUARE INCH.

IF IT'S USED ON A PERSON,

THE CONCUSSION OF ITIS JUST MASSIVE,

AND THAT COULD KILL SOMEBODY.

BUT DEFINITELY, THE BOLT,

WHICH IS ABOUT THE SIZEOF YOUR FINGER

WITH A POINT ON IT,

GOING IN ABOUT TWO INCHESINTO YOUR CHEST

WOULD DEFINITELY HITYOUR HEART AREA

AND KILL YOUALMOST INSTANTLY.

announcer:YOU HEAR THE ONE

ABOUT THE TWO JUVENILESWHO WERE SENTENCED

TO WORK RELEASE ON A FARM?- I'LL CUT YOUR BALLS OFF.

announcer: THEY MESSED AROUNDAND THREATENED

THE FARMER'S DAUGHTER UNTILONE OF THE ACCIDENTALLY

KILLED HIMSELFWITH A CATTLE BOLT PISTOL.

[alarmed cries]

AH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

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