Re-Tired

  • Aired 02/23/2009
  • 7,362 Views

Porno will rot your brain.

>> PHIL HARDIN IS A STONE-COLD

SMUT ADDICT.

HE LIVES IT.

>> [moaning]

>> HE BREATHES IT.

>> OH, GOD.

>> HE READS IT.

HE NEEDS IT.

>> [moaning]

>> PHIL'S GOT IT MADE.

HIS NO-SKILLS JOB AT THE TIRE

SHOP ALLOWS HIM TO WORK AND

PLAY AT THE SAME TIME.

>> WHAT MAKES SOMEBODY A SEX

ADDICT IS WHAT MAKES SOMEBODY

A DRUG ADDICT OR AN ALCOHOLIC

ADDICT, THEY OVER-CONSUME.

IT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEIR

FAMILY.

IT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEIR

WORK.

THEY DON'T CARE IF IT DESTROYS

THEIR HEALTH.

IT'S ALL THEY THINK ABOUT

DAY AND NIGHT.

>> PHIL THOUGHT HIS PORN

OBSESSION WAS HARMLESS.

HE WASN'T HURTING ANYONE.

AND THEN ONE DAY HE SAT DOWN

WITH THE NEW ISSUE OF HORNDOG

AND A LARGE TRUCK TIRE.

HIS FOOT WAS UP ON THE AIR HOSE,

BUT HIS MIND WAS STILL DOWN IN

THE GUTTER.

>> [moaning]

>> I'VE OFTEN SAID THAT TIRES

ARE A TICKING TIME BOMB.

IF YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A PROBLEM.

IT COULD BE CATASTROPHIC.

IT COULD KILL YOU OR CERTAINLY

"MAIN" YOU--TAKE OUT AN EYE,

BREAK AN ARM, BREAK YOUR NECK,

TAKE A PIECE OF YOUR BODY.

>> IT CAME DOWN TO THIS.

>> [moaning]

>> WHICH WOULD POP FIRST:

PHIL OR THE TIRE?

>> [moaning]

[air hissing]

>> THE TIRE AND STEEL RIM

EXPLODED SIMULTANEOUSLY,

LAUNCHING HEAVY SHRAPNEL INTO

PHIL'S FOREHEAD FROM LESS THAN

A YARD AWAY.

>> JUST THE BLUNT FORCE OF

A LARGE PIECE OF TIRE HITTING

HIM IN THE HEAD COULD CAUSE

A CONTUSION THAT'S STRONG ENOUGH

TO CAUSE A TRAUMATIC BRAIN

INJURY.

HE HAD ACTUALLY PIECES THAT

WENT THROUGH HIS SKULL LODGED

IN HIS SKULL AND DAMAGED HIS

BRAIN DIRECTLY, WHICH IN AND OF

ITSELF CAN CAUSE NEUROGENIC

SHOCK WHICH CAN CAUSE SOMEONE

TO DIE AS WELL.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY...

PORNO IS BAD FOR YOU.

>> [moaning]

>> IT'LL ROT YOUR BRAIN.

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