Black Light Scorpions

A state health inspector taints hotel rooms to collect bribes and is killed when he fails to recognize bark scorpions under his black light.

announcer: IT'S HEALTHINSPECTION DAY

AT THIS SLEAZYLITTLE DESERT MOTEL.

PALMER MUNCIE IS RUNNINGA SCAM ACROSS THE STATE,

POSING AS A HEALTH INSPECTOR.

- THIS IS A REALLYCLEAN ESTABLISHMENT.

announcer: HE KICKS IT OFFWITH A SPOT ROOM INSPECTION.

- MISS, I WORK ALONE.

AND IT'S GOING TO BE...

A WHILE.

TA-TA.

announcer: ONCE HE GETSBEHIND CLOSED DOORS...

- AHH, TIME TO PARTY.

[panting]

OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH,OH, YEAH.

I GOT A CLEAN BILL FOR YA!

[grunts, groans]

AH, YOU CAN HANG WALLPAPERWITH MY PASTE, BABY, YEAH.

announcer: PALMER IS A MANWHO CLEARLY LOVES HIS WORK.

- I WANT TO GOTO THE CARNIVAL RIDE, DADDY.

[excited groans and giggling]

AH![groans]

[booming]

[sighs]AHH.

[knocking at door]

JUST A MOMENT.

PLEASE, COME ON IN.

- EVERYTHING'S PERFECT,RIGHT?

- THIS LOOKS LIKEA PERFECTLY NORMAL BED, YES?

BUT WHEN I TURNON MY MAGIC LIGHT...

- [gasps]

- LOOK AT THAT!

SEMEN!

A SEA OF SEMEN!

announcer: PALMER'S BLACK LIGHTTELLS A LURID TALE.

- THIS IS A VIOLATION.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE SHUT DOWN!

- NO.

announcer: THE SHAKEDOWNIS EASY.

HE EVEN WEASELSA FREE ROOM FOR THE NIGHT...

- TA-TA.

[snores]

announcer: AND GOES TO SLEEP

WITH HIS FAVORITEBLACK LIGHTS GLOWING.

- [snores]

announcer: BUT THIS WASONE MOTEL

THAT COULD HAVE USEDA REAL HEALTH INSPECTION.

PALMER'S ROOM IS INFESTEDWITH BARK SCORPIONS.

THEY'RE NOT ONLY FLUORESCENT,THEY'RE DEADLY.

- [gasps, chokes]

[groans]

- ONE FASCINATING THINGABOUT SCORPIONS,

THEY ALL GLOW UNDERA BLACK LIGHT.

NOBODY SEEMS TO KNOW WHY,

EXCEPT THE FACT THEY DO.

THE BARK SCORPION IS THE MOSTVENOMOUS SCORPION IN THE U.S.

THE VENOM IS A NEUROTOXIN,

WHICH MEANS IT GOESTHROUGH THE SYSTEM,

TURNING OFF THE AUTONOMICNERVOUS SYSTEM,

ALMOST LIKE YOU'RE TURNING OFFTHE FUSES IN A LIGHT SWITCH.

YOU'RE TOAST.

announcer: PALMERWAS A DISGUSTING PERVERT,

WHO SQUEEZED HIMSELF...

- AH![groans]

SEMEN!

announcer: AND THENMOTEL OWNERS.

- [gasps]

announcer: AFTER A TIRING DAYOF SELF-ABUSE,

HE HAD A NICE SLEEP...

- [gasps]

announcer: AND THEN A BITE.

TA-TA, FREAK.

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