Urning Japanese

  • Season 3
  • Aired 11/14/2011
  • 13,005 Views

A disgraced warrior commits Seppuku in 1800s Japan.

KIOSHI IS A VERYMISGUIDED YOUNG MAN.

- [speaking Japanese]

announcer: HE'S FINALLY REALIZEDHIS HEAVY METAL BAND SUCKS,

AND THAT HE HAS ZERO TALENT.

HE'S DECIDED TO DOTHE MUSIC WORLD A FAVOR

AND DO HIMSELF INBY COMMITTING

THE SAMURAI RITUALFORM OF SUICIDE

KNOWN AS SEPPUKU.

- SEPPUKU IS A RITUALDISEMBOWELMENT.

ANY TIME THAT A SAMURAI FELTTHAT HE WAS DISHONORED,

HE FELT THERE WAS NO WAY OUT,HE WOULD COMMIT SEPPUKU.

THE FIRST SEPPUKUWAS IN 1180.

THERE WAS A JAPANESE POETAND A WARRIOR.

HIS NAME WASMINAMOTO NO YORIMASA.

HE HAD FAILED IN BATTLE.HE DECIDED TO KILL HIMSELF.

HE DROPPED TO HIS KNEES,HE DUG HIS BLADE

INTO HIS STOMACH, CUT ACROSS,SPILLING HIS INTESTINES,

TAKING HIS LIFEIN FRONT OF HIS MEN.

announcer: THE OTHER MEMBERSOF HIS BAND

ARE CRAZIER AND STUPIDERTHAN KIOSHI

AND HAVE AGREED TO HELP.

- [speaking Japanese]

announcer: KIOSHI STARTED OUTBY READING HIS DEATH POEM,

ASKING FORGIVENESS FORHIS COMPLETE LACK OF TALENT.

- [speaking Japanese]

announcer: THEN HE UNSHEATHEDTHE SPECIALIZED DAGGER

CALLED A TARANTO.

AND WITH ONE VIOLENT THRUST,

PLUNGED IT DEEPIN HIS STOMACH.

- [grunts]

announcer: HE CLEARLYWOULD HAVE MADE

A BETTER SAMURAITHAN ROCK STAR...

- [grunts]

announcer: SHOWING NO EMOTIONAS HE RIPPED HIS GUTS WIDE OPEN.

- THE BLADE AS IT ENTERSFROM LEFT TO RIGHT

WOULD HAVE TORN THROUGHTHE SPLEEN AND COLON.

THE KNIFE ITSELF WOULD THENCUT THROUGH THE STOMACH,

THE REST OF THE COLON,THE SMALL INTESTINES,

AND THE LIVER, LASTLY,

RESULTING IN MASSIVEINTERNAL BLEEDING.

WHICH WOULD HAVE CAUSEDHIS DEATH WITHIN MINUTES.

announcer: KIOSHI WAS DEAD,BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP

HIS GUITAR PLAYER FROMCOMPLETING THE GRISLY RITUAL...

- [shouting in Japanese]

announcer: WITH THE TRADITIONALDECAPITATION.

KIOSHI WAS A REALLYBAD MUSICIAN,

BUT AS A SAMURAI...

- [grunts]

announcer: HE COULDREALLY CUT IT.

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