Died-Zilla

A pushy bride ingests some Ivory Wave to take the edge off when she goes into super Bridezilla mode and collapses from hypothermia.

- YES. YES, MARRIAGE!

GOOD! YES!

announcer: DOES THIS LOOK LIKEA BLUSHING BRIDE

ABOUT TO STROLLDOWN THE AISLE?

- I DO.

announcer: HARDLY.- I DO LOVE YOU.

I DO...LOVE THIS...

[sniffs]

AAGHHAAH!

YES, YES, YES! YES!

announcer: KATY HASN'T SLEPTFOR FOUR DAYS.

- YES!

announcer: SHE'S BEEN ONTHE MOTHER OF ALL BENDERS.

- AAH! YES.YE-E-E-E-S...

announcer: HER DRUG OF CHOICE...

BATH SALTS.

- IT'S GOT A LOT OF NICKNAMES.

WHAT IT REALLY ISIS A CHEMICAL THAT'S CALLED

METHYLENEDIOXYPYROVALERONE.

IT'S LIMITING THE REUPTAKEOF CERTAIN NEUROTRANSMITTERS

IN THE BRAIN.

IT'S 20 TO 30 TIMESMORE POWERFUL

THAN COCAINE IN ITS EFFECTS,

AND PEOPLE TAKE THISBY SMOKING IT,

BY SNORTING IT,BY SWALLOWING IT,

AND EVEN BYINSERTING IT RECTALLY.

announcer: KATY HADA HISTORY OF DRUG ABUSE

AND WAS RECENTLYOUT OF REHAB.

BUT SHE GOT A GIFT BASKETOF BATH SALTS

AT HER BRIDAL SHOWER

AND IT WAS DOWNHILLFROM THERE.

- OH, YEAH! YEAH!

announcer: SHE BUSTS UPHER DRESSING ROOM...

AND PUTS THE SCREWSTO THE BEST MAN.

- TRAVIS SCHMAVIS, BABY.- OKAY.

[both laughing]- WHOO!

announcer: HER BRIDESMAIDSTRY AND CALM HER DOWN.

- YOU NEED TO PUTYOUR DRESS ON.

THAT'S FOR THE HONEYMOON,SWEETHEART.

announcer: BUT NOT EVENFRANKENSTEIN

WOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLETHIS BRIDEZILLA.

- THIS IS MY DAY!- YOUR DAY.

- YEAH!GETTING MARRIED!

[bridesmaids cheering]

[organ playing]

- HEY!

WHAT'S UP, EVERYBODY?

announcer:FINALLY, THE TIME COMES

FOR KATY TO MAKELIKE A BRIDE.

- WHEE!

[laughing]

TAKE ME NOW!

announcer: HER FIANCE KNEW

OF KATY'SBAD GIRL HISTORY,

BUT HE HAD NEVER SEENANYTHING LIKE THIS.

- DEARLY BELOVED,WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY

IN THE SIGHT OF GOD.

announcer: AS THE PREACHERDRONES ON,

KATY'S PULSE IS REDLINING,

AND HER BODY TEMPERATUREIS CLIMBING.

- [coughs]

HE DOES.

announcer: FINALLY,RIGHT WHEN IT WAS TIME

TO DO THE "I DO"...

- DO YOU TAKE, UH, TRAVISTO BE YOUR HUSBAND?

- [gasping]

announcer: HER BATH-SALTEDHEART SAID,

"I DON'T."

AND KATY SAID...

"I'M DONE."

- WHEN THIS WOMAN INGESTEDTHESE BATH SALTS,

SHE DEVELOPED HYPERTHERMIA.

IT'S BASICALLY WHENTHE REGULATORY MECHANISM

FOR THE BODY'S TEMPERATUREIS OUT OF CONTROL.

AND WHEN THE BODY REACHESTEMPERATURES OF 104 OR 105,

IT CAN BEEXTREMELY DANGEROUS.

AND THAT WAS THE CASEWITH THIS WOMAN,

CAUSING HER TO COLLAPSEAND DIE WITHIN MINUTES.

- YEAH!

announcer: KATY WAS THE BRIDEFROM HELL.

SHE SNORTED LIKE SCARFACE.

- UHHAHH!

announcer: SHE SCREWEDLIKE LINDA LOVELACE...

[both laughing]

announcer: AND THEN SHE DIEDLIKE ANY OTHER

OUT OF CONTROLSUBSTANCE ABUSER.

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU...DEAD.

[bell tolls]

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