Love Is Blind

  • Season 3
  • Aired 08/18/2011
  • 28,485 Views

A cheating husband goes BLIND while having sex (a condition called Vascoconstriction) in a collapsible pup tent, panics, runs into a bear and gets mauled by it.

AH, THE GREAT OUTDOORS.

THE PERFECT PLACEFOR A MARRIED GUY LIKE PETER

TO HOOK UP WITH JULIE,HIS NEW, HOT MISTRESS.

- I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND

WHY WE COULDN'T HAVEGONE TO A MOTEL.

- WE CAN'T BE IN TOWN.

- SHE JUST NEEDSA LITTLE CONVINCING.

- MY WIFE'S COWORKERSARE EVERYWHERE.

[chuckling]

announcer:ONCE INSIDE THE TENT,

THE CHEATING OUTDOORSMANIS READY TO EXPLORE

RAW NATURE.

- OH, BABY.

announcer: HE ADMIRESHIS LOVER'S GRAND TETONS

AND THEN MAKES ITTO THE TOP OF MOUNT JOY.

- OH, WOW!

YEAH! OHH.

announcer: BUT JUST AS PETERIS ABOUT TO REACH HIS "PEAK"...

- UHH! OH! OH!

OH, GOD.

W-WAIT.

- WHAT?- THIS--

EVERYTHING'S FUZZY.

announcer:HE STARTS TO LOSE FOCUS.

- I DON'T KNOWWHAT'S GOING ON.

announcer:THEN HE LOSES HIS SIGHT...

COMPLETELY.

- I CAN'T SEE AT ALL!

announcer: GUYS, REMEMBER HOWYOUR MOTHER ALWAYS WARNED YOU

THAT TOO MUCH SEXWOULD MAKE YOU GO BLIND?

- I CAN'T SEE!I CAN'T SEE!

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

announcer: WELL,IN PETER'S CASE, IT WAS TRUE.

- GO GET MY MOBILEAND GET HELP!

- ALL RIGHT!- OH, MY GOD.

announcer: HE WAS SUFFERING FROMA RARE CONDITION

CALLED VASOCONSTRICTION.

- VASOCONSTRICTIONIS A CONTRACTURE

OF THE MUSCULAR WALL

AROUND THE ARTERY.

AS IF, FOR EXAMPLE,YOU HAD A HOSE,

AND THE PLASTIC LININGWAS ACTUALLY A MUSCLE

AND IT CLAMPED DOWN.

IT WOULD CUT OFFTHE CIRCULATION.

AND THE FLOW OF BLOODTO THE TISSUE,

AND IN THIS CASE,

AROUND THE OPTIC NERVE,CAUSING BLINDNESS,

EITHER TEMPORARY,IF IT'S SHORT-TERM,

OR PERMANENT, IF IT'S SEVERALMINUTES OF CONSTRICTION.

- OH, GOD.

- PANICKING, PETER RUNSBLINDLY RIGHT INTO

A 600-POUND,VERY HUNGRY BROWN BEAR.

- AAH! AAH!

[bear roaring]

- IT HAD BEEN RAIDINGTHE CAMPSITE'S COOLER,

BUT FOUND PETER'S FRESH MEATMUCH MORE TO ITS LIKING.

- [screaming]

- [roaring]

[slurping]

- WHAT CAN HAPPENA LOT OF TIMES,

LIKE IN YOUR CAMPSITE,

YOU CAN COME UPUPON A BEAR

THAT'S EATING YOUR FOOD.

THE BEAR DOESN'T CAREIT'S YOUR FOOD.

IT'S IN HIS POSSESSION.

IT'S HIS FOOD,AND YOU'RE THE INTRUDER.

NOW, YOU SURPRISEA HUNGRY BEAR,

THERE'S GONNA BE BLOODAND SNOT FLYING.

- [growling]

- A LARGE NORTH AMERICANBROWN BEAR

THE LENGTH OF THE CLAW'SALMOST FOUR INCHES LONG.

FORCE OF 1,600 POUNDSHITTING YOU ACROSS THE CHOPS.

YOUR FACEIS LEAVING YOUR HEAD.

announcer:THEY SAY LOVE IS BLIND...

- OH, BABY.

announcer:AND THAT MAY BE TRUE.

- I CAN'T SEE!- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

announcer: BUT SEX BETWEENA CHEATING HUSBAND

AND HIS BUXOM MISTRESS...

- [growling]

announcer:THAT'S UN-BEAR-ABLE.

- [screaming]

- [roars]

Loading...