Squeeze Play

  • Season 3
  • Aired 01/06/2011
  • 11,574 Views

A scam artist with a penchant for frivolous lawsuits feigns injury and gets crushed between a Hummer and a parked car.

LESTER WAS A SCAM ARTISTWHO TARGETED SMALL BUSINESSES

LIKE THIS TACO TRUCK.

- CAN I GET A TACO?- ONE TACO.

announcer:HE'D BUY SOME FOOD...

- THANK YOU.- THANK YOU.

announcer:PLANT SOMETHING DISGUSTING--

IN THIS CASE, A RAT LEG--

AND THEN SHAKE 'EM DOWN.

- OH, MY GOD.THIS IS DISGUSTING.

CAN YOU COME OUT HERE,PLEASE?

IS THIS THE SPECIAL SAUCEOR SOMETHING?

WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?

- THAT WASN'T IN THE TACOA SECOND AGO.

announcer:THE TACO TRUCK OWNER

WAS STUCK BETWEENPAYING OFF LESTER...

- DUDE, I'M GONNA TAKE YOUTO COURT AND SUE YOU.

announcer: OR GOINGOUT OF BUSINESS.

HE PAID.

- I'M EITHER GOINGTO EXTORT YOU

OR I'M GOING TO WININ COURT.

THE EXTORTIONPAYS A LOT MORE.

THE EASIER TARGET ISA MOM AND POP RETAIL STORE.

I'VE THREATENED TO TAKEEVERY BUSINESS TO COURT

IF THEY DON'T PAY UP,

BECAUSE I'M GONNAGET MY MONEY.

announcer: THIS WASA GOOD DAY FOR LESTER,

SO WHEN A PLATINUM BLONDCAME AROUND THE CORNER

IN A BLINGED-OUT SUV,

HE SAW ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY.

ALL HE HAD TO DOWAS STEP OFF THE CURB

AND LET THE LEGAL SYSTEMDO THE REST.

- THERE'S NO WAY.UH-UH.

[thud]AAH! OH, MY GOD.

- DAMN IT. AAH!

- OH! OH, MY GOD.OH, MY GOD.

I'VE GOT TO CALL YOU BACK.

OH, MY GOD.OH, MY GOD.

- CALL 911!

announcer: BUT THEN THINGS GOTA LITTLE TIGHT FOR LESTER,

BECAUSE WHEN BLONDIE GRABBEDHER CELL PHONE TO CALL 911,

SHE STEPPED ON THE BRAKE,ALLOWING THE HANDLE OF HER BAG

TO ACCIDENTALLY SHIFTTHE CAR INTO NEUTRAL...

- OH, MY GOD.I'M CALLING THEM RIGHT NOW.

announcer: SETTINGTHE THREE-TON SUV INTO MOTION.

- AAH!

- AAH!

- IN THIS CASE,THE MAN DIED

BECAUSE THE STRESS APPLIEDBY THE HUMMER TO HIS CHEST

CRUSHED THE BONES AND CAUSEDINTERNAL BODILY DAMAGE

TO LUNGS AND HEARTAND OTHER ORGANS.

- CAN I GET A TACO?- SURE.

announcer: LESTER PUT THESQUEEZE ON UNSUSPECTING VICTIMS.

- WHAT IS THIS? IS THISTHE SPECIAL SAUCE OR SOMETHING?

announcer: BUT WHEN HE CAMEFACE TO FACE

WITH THREE TONSOF STEEL AND RUBBER...

[thud]- AAH!

announcer:HE GOT SQUEEZED OUT.

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