'You've Got Male'

  • Season 3
  • Aired 04/14/2014
  • 4,306 Views

In a desperate attempt to be popular, a young man gets a very embarrassing tattoo. It didn't work, and he lost his girlfriend. Now he goes to Tommy to try and get it covered up.

- YO, MAN, HOW DID YOU END UPWITH A PENIS ON YOUR LEG?

- WELL, I'VE ALWAYS HADA HARD TIME FITTING IN, MAN,

AND I WOULD DO INCREDIBLYSTUPID STUFF.

MOST OF THE STUFF I DID

GOT ME A FEW LAUGHS...- MM-HMM.

- BUT PEOPLE WERE LAUGHINGAT ME BUT NOT WITH ME.

[laughter]

I WAS HANGING OUTWITH MY FRIENDS--

- YOU--YOU HAVE FRIENDS?

- [laughing] I DO, YEAH.- [laughing] OH, MY GOD.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.GO--GO ON.

- AND I HEARD THAT MY NEIGHBORWAS HAVING A TATTOO PARTY.

- IT'S A COOL KID TATTOO PARTY.

INVITE ONLY.NO DORKS.

- I DIDN'T GET AN INVITE.DID YOU GET AN INVITE?

- I JUST FIGURED IF ONCE PEOPLESAW HOW COOL I WAS,

IT WOULDN'T EVEN MATTER.

- PERFECT PLAN, MY MAN.

- GO, BABY, YEAH.

- I TOLD THEM, "I'M GONNA GETA TATTOO, MAN."

- "NORBIN," WHAT ARE YOUDOING HERE?

I SAID NO DORKS.

- I WAS TRYINGTO THINK OF ANYTHING

TO SHOW THESE PEOPLE HOW FUNNYI WAS, HOW COOL I WAS,

AND HOW FUN I WAS TO BE AROUND.

SO I'M LOOKING AROUNDTHE ROOM FOR INSPIRATION,

AND I SEE THE OLD MOVIE, YOU'VE GOT MAIL.

- OH, MY GOD.I KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO!

THIS IS PERFECT!HA!

- I THOUGHT IT'D BE FUNNYTO GET MY PENIS

COMING OUT OF A MAILBOX

SAYING "YOU GOT MALE."M-A-L-E.

- IT'S ORIGINAL,THAT'S FOR SURE, BUT--

- LAUGHING, HAVING A GOOD TIME.

I FELT LIKE THE LIFEOF THE PARTY.

- NOW WHO'S THE LIFEOF THE PARTY, BITCHES?

- THE NEXT MORNING,

THE NEW FRIENDS I SUPPOSEDLYMADE AT THIS PARTY,

DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING ELSEFROM THEM.

- SO NO ONE TOOK YOUR CALLS?[chuckles]

- NONE.

- PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "OH, GOD,

IT'S THE GUY WITH THE PENISON HIS LEG."

- [laughing] YEAH.- "DON'T PICK UP."

- BUT I HAD THIS GIRLFRIEND,

AND I KNEW AS SOON AS SHE SAW ITSHE'D BE SO PISSED.

AND WE GOT BUSY,

UNZIPS MY PANTS, ANDSHE SEES IT, BAM, RIGHT THERE.

- OH, MY GOD.WHAT IS THAT?

- I--IT'S--

- IS THAT--- IT'S JUST A STUPID--

- IS THAT A PENIS IN A MAILBOX?

- NO--I MEAN, I--KIND OF.- I MEAN--

- SHE COMPLETELY LOST IT...- UH-HUH.

- SAYING THATI WAS STUPID, IMMATURE,

THEN BREAKS UP WITH ME.

- SO THIS TATTOOMADE YOU ZERO FRIENDS,

AND YOU LOST YOUR GIRLOVER THIS.

- YEAH.THAT SUCKED SO BAD.

I MEAN, LIKE, I WAS CRUSHED.

I MEAN, WE'D BEEN DATINGFOR A LONG, LONG TIME...

- YEAH, YEAH.- AND IT WAS JUST HORRIBLE.

- MAYBE MAKE SOME DECISIONSFOR YOURSELF NOW,

AND NOT TRYTO IMPRESS PEOPLE, DUDE.

- YEAH. YEAH.- YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

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