Bush Whacked

  • Aired 11/10/2010
  • 2,533 Views

A misguided survivalist wanna-be dies after eating poison plants.

- I'M DEEP INSIDETHE CAMBODIAN JUNGLE

ON DAY 64OF MY SURVIVAL EXPEDITION.

MOTHER NATURE WANTS ME DEAD,

BUT INSTEAD, I'M GONNAPUNCH HER RIGHT IN THE FACE.

COME ON.

announcer:THERE'S TWO WAYS TO RESPOND

TO ALL THOSE SURVIVE IN THE WILDTYPE SHOWS ON TELEVISION.

- YOU DIE JUST LIKE THAT.

announcer: THE SMART WAY,

JUST REMAIN SEATEDAND KEEP WATCHING,

AND THE STUPID.

- I CAN DO THIS.

announcer: MEET BOBBY.

- YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW MANYTHINGS ARE EDIBLE OUT HERE.

announcer: THERE'S NOTHINGMORE DANGEROUS

THAN A DELUSIONALCOUCH POTATO.

- "EAT PLANTS."

I CAN TOTALLY DO THIS.

announcer: HE SET OUTTO DOCUMENT HIMSELF

SURVIVING IN THE WILDERNESS.

- THIS IS NICE.

announcer: WHEN YOU'RE OUTWHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE,

IT'S NOT JUST THE ANIMALSYOU HAVE TO WATCH OUT FOR.

- IT'S LIKE A GARDENOF EDIBLE PLANTS.

GONNA MAKE MYSELFA LITTLE SPRING MIX SALAD,

WHICH IS REALLY TASTY.

- A PERSON MUST BE CAUTIOUS

WHEN CONSIDERING WILD PLANTSAS A FOOD SOURCE.

UH, SOME PLANTS ARE DEADLYAND EASY TO MISIDENTIFY.

AN INDIVIDUAL SHOULD NOTCONSIDER EATING

WILD VEGETATIONAFTER WATCHING A TV SHOW.

announcer: THINGS THAT LOOKGOOD ENOUGH TO EAT ON TV...

- [panting]

announcer: CAN TURN OUT TO BEBAD ENOUGH TO KILL YOU

IN REAL LIFE.

- [groaning]

OHH!

announcer: THAT SPRING MIX SALADBOBBY ATE

WAS ACTUALLY A LETHALCOMBINATION OF TOXIC PLANTS

THAT DELIVEREDA TRIPLE DEATH WHAMMY

TO THE IGNORANT OUTDOORSMAN.

OLEANDER, WHICH AFFECTSTHE CARDIAC CYCLE

AND CAUSES HEART PALPITATIONS,

FOXGLOVE, WHICH HITSTHE GASTROINTESTINAL REGION

RESULTING IN VOMITINGAND DIARRHEA,

AND, FINALLY, HEMLOCK,

ONE OF THE MOST POISONOUS PLANTSFOUND IN ALL OF NATURE.

- HIS BODY WOULD WITNESSA SERIES

OF VERY VIOLENT REACTIONSTO THESE PLANT TOXINS.

BASICALLY WHAT HAPPENSIS A PARALYSIS

OF THE MUSCLES SURROUNDINGTHE HEART,

WHICH LEADS TO STARVATIONOF THE LUNGS OF OXYGEN,

AND SUBSEQUENTLY STARVATIONOF THE BRAIN OF OXYGEN.

announcer: IN THIS BATTLEBETWEEN MAN AND NATURE...

- I'M GONNA PUNCHMOTHER NATURE IN THE FACE.

announcer:BOBBY WENT IN UNARMED.

- [groaning]

announcer: AND NEVER CAME OUT.

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