Rubbed Out

  • Season 3
  • Aired 07/18/2011
  • 7,063 Views

A frotteur goes after an innocent businesswoman when a falling piece of iron rebar jams through his body and ruptures his internal organs.

- THERE'S A LOTOF DEGENERATES IN THIS WORLD.

DUNCAN DEFINITELY QUALIFIES.

HIS PERV SPECIALTY?UP-SKIRTING.

[shutter snaps]

- THE REASON WHYI TAKE THE UP-SKIRT PHOTOS

IS 'CAUSE THE INTERNETIS JUST NOT AS PERSONAL.

IT'S VERY IMPERSONAL.

YOU CAN ALWAYS SEE ITWHENEVER YOU WANT.

AND WHEN YOU'RE IN PERSONAND YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THAT

WITH, LIKE, A CELL PHONECAMERA OR SOMETHING,

IT'S JUST A BIGGER THRILL.

YOU GO TO, LIKE, A FARMER'SMARKET OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT,

YOU CAN GET A GOOD SHOT,

BECAUSE PEOPLE AREN'TREALLY NOTICING ANYTHING,

AND MAYBE ONE OUT OF TEN GIRLSAREN'T WEARING PANTIES,

AND YOU CAN GET THAT SHOT.

- DUNCAN HAD THE DEFT TOUCHOF A MASTER UP-SKIRTER,

BUT HE WASN'T ALWAYS ABLETO GET HIS SHOT.

ON THIS DAY, A COFFEE WAGONBY A CONSTRUCTION SITE,

IT WAS FERTILE GROUND.

BUT HE HAD YET TO CATCHTHE HOLY GRAIL OF UP-SKIRTING--

THE NO PANTIES BULL'S-EYE.

BUT THEN A WOMAN STANDINGIN LINE LOOKED PROMISING.

WHY?NO PANTY-LINE.

DUNCAN WAS SO CAUGHT UPSTALKING HIS NAKED PREY,

HE FAILED TO NOTICETHE BRAWNY CONSTRUCTION WORKER.

[shutter snaps]- WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING?

- MAN, I DIDN'T DO NOTHING.

- HE WAS ABOUT TO GETA MAJOR ASS-WHOOPING.

- YOU'S A SICK BASTARD.

- I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.- WHAT THE HELL?

- GIVE ME A BREAK, MAN.

- UNTIL FATE STEPPED IN.- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- AND TOOK HIM OUT.

A WORK CREW PREPARING A ROOFEIGHT FLOORS ABOVE

PROVIDED THE PERFECTDEATH FORMULA.

ONE CLUMSY CONSTRUCTION WORKERPLUS ONE PIECE OF REBAR

AND THE WORLDIS MINUS ONE PERVERT.

- THE REBAR, WHICH FELLFROM 30 TO 40 FEET

WOULD HAVE ENTERED OUR VICTIM

AT ABOUT 20TO 25 MILES PER HOUR.

GOING THROUGH HIS LEFT CHEST,

IT WOULD HAVE GONETHROUGH HIS LUNG, THE HEART,

THROUGH HIS DIAPHRAGM,AND OUT HIS SIDE,

PRETTY MUCHKILLING HIM INSTANTLY.

- UP-SKIRTING IS A LOW-DOWN,

DIRTY WAYTO GET YOUR ROCKS OFF.

- WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING?

- I DIDN'T DO NOTHING.

- HEY, DUNCAN.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- THIS IS WHY THE INTERNETWAS INVENTED.

LOSER.

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