Ponzi-Reamed

  • Season 4
  • Aired 03/26/2012
  • 9,256 Views

A morally-bankrupt Ponzi schemer accidentally swallows a pair of buckyball magnets and dies a horrible death when they're magnetically attracted to each other inside his intestinal tract.

- NOW IS NOT THE TIMETO PULL YOUR MONEY OUT.

announcer: LENNY IS ABOUTTO HAVE A VERY BAD DAY.

- 36 HOURS, ALL I NEED.

announcer: HE'S BEEN BILKINGINVESTORS THROUGH A PONZI SCHEME

BUT THE MARKET JUST CRASHED...

- THERE'S NO NEED TO PANIC.

announcer: AND THE FEDSARE CLOSING IN.

- FINE! I'LL GIVE YOUYOUR MONEY!

announcer: LENNY DRANK GALLONSOF TAPIOCA BOBAS

TO SOOTHE HIS RAGING ULCER.

AND HE SQUEEZED HIS MAGNETICBUCKYBALLS

TO CALM HIS NERVES.

- DAMN IT!

I AM SO SCREWED.

announcer: BUT NOTHINGWAS WORKING.

- THEY WANNA THROW ME IN JAIL?I MADE MONEY!

announcer: TIPPED OFF THAT HISOFFICE WAS ABOUT TO BE RAIDED,

HE TRIED DESPERATELYTO DESTROY EVIDENCE.

- DON'T STOP, JUST PUT IT IN.

PUT IT IN, PATTY!PUT IT IN!

[groaning]

announcer: BUT THEN,SOMETHING GETS TO LENNY

BEFORE THE FEDS.

[groaning in pain]

- MOMMY.

announcer: DEATH.

HOW'D THAT HAPPEN?

WHEN LENNY SLAMMED THE MAGNETICBALLS IN A FIT OF RAGE...

- DAMN IT!

announcer: A COUPLE OF BUCKYSPLOPPED INTO HIS BOBA.

AND HE DRANK THEM DOWN.

- THESE MAGNETS TRAVELTHROUGH YOUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM

FROM THE ESOPHAGUS TO THE STOMACH

TO THE SMALL INTESTINE.

AND THEY CAN MAGNETIZETOWARDS EACH OTHER

CAUSING A PERFORATIONAND TOXINS AND BACTERIA

TO RELEASE INTO HIS SYSTEM,AND HE ENDED UP DYING.

announcer: LENNY SWALLOWEDA BUCKY...

- AHH!

announcer: THINGS GOTREALLY SUCKY.

AND NOW, LENNY'S A DEAD DUCKY.

- [screams]

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