Gratuity Violence

Two hot Hooter’s-style waitresses get into a messy fight over service tips, when one of them is impaled by the receipt-holder.

narrator:WELCOME TO PINK PEAKS,

WHERE THE MOUNTAINS ARE HIGH,AND BUSINESS IS FLAT.

- YOU KNOW, I NEED TOGO BACK TO POLE DANCING.

- 'CAUSE SHE'D MAKE LESS MONEY.

narrator: RIVAL WAITRESSESCARRIE AND SHERRI

WERE TIRED OF MAKINGNO MONEY

- WHEN I WAS HIRED, I THINKTHE NUMBER ONE THING THEY SAID

WAS TO BUYA PUSH-UP BRA.

PRETTY MUCH, IF YOU GAIN,LIKE, TEN POUNDS,

LIKE, YOU'RE DONE,AND IF YOU'RE OVER 21,

YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH DONEAT THESE KIND OF PLACES.

'CAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUTYOUNG, TIGHT,

AND BUBBLESIN THE RIGHT PLACES.

narrator: AND THEN,LIKE A GIFT FROM THE BAR GODS,

IN WALKED A SOFTBALL TEAMWITH BEER ON THEIR MINDS.

IT WOULD BE THE BIGGEST TIPIN WEEKS,

AND BOTH GIRLS WANTED IN.

- [girls introduce themselves]...AND I'LL BE YOUR WAITRESS.

- IT'S MY TABLE.- TAKE A HIKE, BITCH.

guys: OOH...

- WE WANT HERS.

[guys cheer]

narrator: CARRIE'S SUPERIOR BREASTOSTERONE WON OUT,

BUT SHERRI WAS NOT GIVING UPWITHOUT A FIGHT.

- OH!

[guys shouting, laughing]

narrator:THE GIRLS WENT BLOW FOR BLOW...

UNTIL CARRIE HAD SHERRIPLAYING KETCHUP.

- YEAH! WHOO!

narrator: FINALLY,CARRIE WENT IN FOR THE KILL...

- AAH!

narrator:AND GOT IT RIGHT IN HER...

JUG...ULAR.- AAH!

narrator: SHE YANKED OUTTHE RECEIPT HOLDER,

AND OUT SHOT A THIN STREAMOF SILICON,

FOLLOWED BY A TORRENTOF FRESH HEART BLOOD.

[alarmed shouting]

- AAH!

- OUR SUBJECT IN QUESTIONFELL ON A SHARP,

PENETRATING OBJECT,WHICH PIERCED HER CHEST CAVITY

AND LACERATED HER HEART.

CATASTROPHIC BLEEDINGOCCURRED INSIDE,

DISALLOWING THE HEARTTO FILL WITH BLOOD

OR PUMP BLOOD OUT,

RESULTING IN LACKOF PERFUSION OF THE BODY

AND, ULTIMATELY,DEATH OF OUR PATIENT.

narrator: IT WAS THE DEAD ZONEAT PINK PEAKS.

- YEAH, GOOD GAME, GUYS.

narrator:THEN BUSINESS PICKED UP.

- [girls introduce themselves]...AND I'LL BE YOUR WAITRESS.

[guys shouting]

narrator:IN THE END.

CARRIE BEAT OUT SHERRIFOR THE TABLE.

BUT I DON'T THINKTHAT WAS THE TIP...

SHE WAS LOOKING FOR.

CHECK, PLEASE.

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