Champagne Toast

  • Season 3
  • Aired 11/21/2011
  • 33,098 Views

A bossy art gallery owner is terrorizing her party staff when she gets hit in the eye by a champagne cork, crashes into a champagne tower, and bleeds out.

HEATHER IS THROWING A PARTY.

AND SHE WANTS EVERYTHINGTO BE PERFECT.

- [scoffs]

WHAT IS THIS?

WIPE IT OFF RIGHT NOW!

- IF IT ISN'T,TAKE COVER.

- SET THE TABLE PROPERLY!THESE SPOONS DO NOT GO TOGETHER!

- HEATHER'S A LITTLE MORETHAN UPTIGHT,

BECAUSE IT'S NOT JUSTANY PARTY.

IT'S AN UNDERGROUNDSTOLEN ART AUCTION.

- YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME A LOTOF MONEY, AREN'T YOU, HONEY?

- FOR THE FIRST TIME,HER CROOKED BOSSES

ARE LETTING HER RUN AN AUCTIONON HER OWN.

THIS COULD MAKE HER CAREER

IN THE HIGH-END BLACK MARKETART WORLD.

- ART THEFT IS ACTUALLYTHE FASTEST GROWING CRIME

IN THE UNITED STATES.

ACCORDING TO THE FBI,ART THEFT CAN ACTUALLY INCUR

ANNUAL LOSSES OF UP TO$8 BILLION.

- TO GET THIS AUCTIONSTARTED,

WHY DON'T WE GO WITH A LITTLECHAMPAGNE FOUNTAIN.

SHALL WE?

- WITH NO CONFIDENCEIN THE RENT-A-HELP,

HEATHER DECIDES TO POURTHE BUBBLY HERSELF.

BAD IDEA.

- [nervous laughter]

IT'S REALLY IN THERE.

[screams]

AH, GOD!

[glass breaking]

- WITH A PUNCTURE WOUNDTO THE BRACHIAL ARTERY

WHICH IS LOCATED IN THE ARM,

A PATIENT WOULD LOSE BLOODIN A SPURTING FASHION.

SHE WOULD HAVE LOSTCONSCIOUSNESS WITHIN A MINUTE

AND DIED WITHIN FOUR MINUTES.

- WITH $8,000 WORTH OF CRYSTALEMBEDDED IN HER BODY,

HEATHER WENT FROM TOASTINGTO TOAST.

- CHAMPAGNE!

- WHEN IT CAME TIME FOR HERTO TOAST...

- [scream]

AH, GOD!

- SHE WENT BOTTOM'S UP.

CHEERS.

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