A Bird In The Pants

  • Season 4
  • Aired 07/17/2012
  • 17,906 Views

An illegal smuggler with 20 rare birds strapped to his legs dies from excessive amounts of phlegm in his lungs, brought on by avian flu.

- CAN I GET YOU A DRINKOR ANYTHING?

- [speaking Spanish]- GRACIAS.

announcer: JUAN AND MARIA,

TWO LOVEBIRDSON THEIR HONEYMOON?

announcer: NOT EXACTLY.

YOU COULD SAY THEY'REIN THE IMPORT BUSINESS.

THEIR SPECIALTY?

EXOTIC BIRDS.

JUAN AND MARIA AREWILDLIFE SMUGGLERS,

AN ILLICIT INDUSTRYWHICH GENERATES

$20 BILLION A YEARWORLDWIDE.

- NO, NO, NOOO![speaking Spanish]

announcer: JUAN'S NOT THINKINGABOUT BIRDS RIGHT NOW.

BUT MARIA'S PLAYINGHARD TO CATCH...

AFTER A THREE-HOUR NAP,JUAN WAKES UP A VERY SICK MAN.

[coughing, hacking]

[coughing, spewing]

[Maria screaming]

[all screaming]

- WHAT IS THAT?

[bird squeaking]

- AVIAN FLU, OR MORE COMMONLYKNOWN AS BIRD FLU,

MUTATED AND WAS ABLETO INFECT HUMANS.

AND THIS GENTLEMAN,

HE BEGAN TO EXPERIENCETYPICAL FLU-LIKE SYMPTOMS--

FEVER, SORE THROAT,COUGHING, SNEEZING.

HE DEVELOPED A PARTICULARLYLETHAL VERSION OF THIS.

HIS LUNGS FILLED UPWITH FLUID

AND HE DIEDOF A VIRAL PNEUMONIA.

announcer: JUAN CAUGHT BIRDS.

THEN HE CAUGHT BIRD FLU.

- OH![all screaming]

announcer: IN THE END, A LIFEOF CRIME CAUGHT UP WITH JUAN...

AND HIS LIFE FLEW THE COUP.

[Maria crying]

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