Plugged Up

Is that really a good place to hide contraband?

>> DAMN, BABY, YOU'RE LIKE THE

BEST THING I'VE SEEN IN THREE

YEARS.

>> I BET.

>> OUT ON PAROLE, WITH $200 TO

HIS NAME, LEVINSON WAS READY TO

LIVE IT UP ON HIS FIRST NIGHT OF

FREEDOM.

SO, LIKE ANY SENSIBLE MAN WHO

KNOWS WHERE TRUE HAPPINESS LIES,

HE BOUGHT HIMSELF A BOTTLE OF

JACK, RENTED HIMSELF A FANCY

SUV, AND GOT HIMSELF A HOOKER.

>> ALL I GOT IS 50.

>> THINK OF THIS AS A CHARITY.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> LUCKY LEVINSON WAS ABOUT TO

RECEIVE A BLUE BALL SPECIAL.

>> YOU'RE AN ANGEL.

OH, I'VE BEEN WAITING THREE LONG

YEARS FOR THIS.

>> LOST IN THE ROMANCE OF THE

MOMENT, LEVINSON DIDN'T NOTICE A

COP CAR PULLING UP UNTIL HE HAD

ALREADY PULLED HIS PANTS DOWN.

>> [siren wails]

>> OH, CRAP.

TAKE THIS.

>> WHAT IS THAT?

>> IT'S PEPPER SPRAY.

TAKE IT.

>> NO!

>> IT'S A PAROLE VIOLATION.

I GO BACK FOR TWO YEARS FOR

THIS.

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> LEVINSON HAD A CAN OF PEPPER

SPRAY IN PLAIN VIEW ON THE

CONSOLE OF HIS CAR.

AND IN THE PANIC TO HIDE IT, THE

EX-CON FOLLOWED HIS INSTINCTS,

AND SHOVED THE CONTRABAND INTO

THE FIRST PLACE HE COULD THINK

OF...

UP HIS KEISTER.

>> WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

>> NOTHING, OFFICER.

JUST ME AND MY WIFE TALKING.

>> YOUR WIFE?

>> YES, MY WIFE.

>> IF THAT'S YOUR WIFE, I'M THE

EMPEROR OF CHINA.

>> NICE TO MEET YOU, EMPEROR.

>> GET OUTTA THE CAR.

>> GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO?

>> GET OUTTA THE CAR.

>> THEY SAY THAT WHEN YOU GET

PULLED OVER, YOUR FIRST

IMPRESSION DICTATES YOUR ODDS OF

AVOIDING TROUBLE.

>> EXITING A VEHICLE WITH YOUR

PANTS AROUND YOUR ANKLES AND A

HALF-PINT OF BOOZE ON YOUR

BREATH--NOT A GOOD START.

>> ARE YOU UNDER THE INFLUENCE?

>> A LITTLE BIT.

>> A LITTLE BIT?

>> A LITTLE BIT!

>> HEY!

>> AAH!

[screaming]

>> WHAT'S THE MATTER?

>> WHEN THE COP SHOVED LEVINSON

AGAINST THE TRUCK, IT SET OFF A

RAGING CAN OF PEPPER SPRAY

INSIDE HIS BUNGHOLE.

>> OH, MY GOD, IT HURTS!

>> WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> WHEN SOMEONE HAS PEPPER SPRAY

SPRAYED IN THEIR FACE, IT

TYPICALLY IS IN AN OPEN

ENVIRONMENT.

WHEN PEPPER SPRAY WILL GO OFF

IN, SAY, A CLOSED COLON, THERE'S

NOWHERE FOR THAT PEPPER TO

DIFFUSE, SO IT'S JUST CONSTANTLY

GONNA BE IRRITATING THAT LINING,

CAUSING MORE AND MORE DAMAGE

GETTING CLOSE TO THE LINING,

PROBABLY CAUSING MORE SEVERE

DAMAGE THAN, SAY, IF YOU SPRAYED

IT IN SOMEONE'S EYES OR NOSE.

>> THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS

GUY?

>> YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

I AM SO OUT OF HERE.

>> WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?

>> [grunts]

>> CRIME DOESN'T PAY, BUT THE

CRIMINAL DOES.

FOR LEVINSON, FIRST HE PUT UP,

THEN HE PAID UP.

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