Game Set Splat

  • Season 3
  • Aired 11/14/2011
  • 16,703 Views

A flirtatious housewife accidentally engages the switch that releases the net’s hundreds of pounds of pressure and causes the handle to spin violently into her fragile larynx.

HEY, GUYS.

HERE'S SOMEONE YOU NEVER WANTTO FIND YOURSELF MARRIED TO.

A LAZY BOONG TWO-TIMING HAG.

SAY HELLO TO KIMBERLY.

- HONEY, PLEASE, PLEASEDON'T MESS THIS UP FOR ME.

[doorbell rings]

PLEASE?

announcer: HER HUBBY, DAN,WAS STUPID ENOUGH

TO INVITE HIS BOSS AND HIS WIFEOVER FOR TENNIS.

- HONEY, THIS IS LEA,AND THIS IS JOE.

- HI.

announcer: FOR KIMBERLY...

- HELLO.- NICE TO MEET YOU.

announcer: IT WAS TIME TO LETTHE GAMES BEGIN.

- YOU SHOULD PLAYWITH MY HUSBAND,

AND WE'RE GONNAPLAY TOGETHER.

- WELL, I GUESSIT'S YOU AND ME.

- A LOT OF RELATIONSHIPSGET STALE.

AND MARRIAGES NEEDINFUSIONS OF ENERGY

AND SPICINESS TO HELPKEEP THEM ALIVE AND FRESH.

FEMALES WANT TO BE DESIRED.

THEY WANT TO FEEL ATTRACTIVE.

THEY WANT THEIR MATESTO PUT THEM ON A PEDESTAL

AND MAKE THEM FEELLIKE THE PRINCESS

AND THE QUEENSTHAT THEY ARE.

IF HER HUSBAND'SNOT PROVIDING THAT FOR HER,

SHE MAY WANT TO GO OUT AND SEEKTHAT FROM SOMEBODY ELSE.

announcer: AS THE MATCHPROCEEDED,

A MONKEY IN HEAT WOULD HAVEBEEN EMBARRASSED

BY KIMBERLY'S BEHAVIOR.

- HOLD ON,YOU GUYS.

announcer:JOE'S WIFE LEA

SAID WHAT WAS ONEVERYONE'S MINDS.

- INAPPROPRIATE!

- HONEY, PLEASE!

- I'M SORRY.

I HAVE TO STRETCH A LITTLE,YOU KNOW?

announcer: KIMBERLY WASTOO BUSY

FLIRTING TO PAY ATTENTIONTO THE GAME...

UNTIL ONE OF LEA'S SERVES

GOT HER ATTENTION.

- OH.

- [groans]

[grunts and gasps]

- OH!

announcer: BEFORE THE MATCH,DAN HAD TIGHTENED THE NET

WITH THE HAND CRANK.

- [grunts]

announcer: WHEN THE STUNNEDKIMBERLY STAGGERED OVER,

SHE ACCIDENTALLY TRIGGEREDTHE SAFETY RELEASE,

AND WENT FROM FLIRTING...

TO HURTING...

TO DEAD.

- THE AVERAGE TENNIS NETIS SET

TO ABOUT 500 POUNDSOF TENSION.

SHE HIT THE LOCKING MECHANISMON THE RATCHET.

WHEN SHE DID,THE 500-POUND FORCE

ON THE CENTEROF THE RATCHET,

WHICH MULTIPLIED OVER THE SPANOF THE CRANK LENGTH,

INCREASED ITTO 2,000 POUNDS OF FORCE.

THAT SWINGING AROUNDAT PRETTY GOOD SPEED,

NAILED HERIN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD--

WOULD HAVE AMPLIFIEDTHAT FORCE

AND KILLED HER RIGHTON THE SPOT.

- YOU SHOULD PLAYWITH MY HUSBAND.

announcer: KIMBERLY WAS ANEMBARRASSMENT TO HER HUSBAND

AND EVERYONE ELSE.

BUT THEN FATE HAD AN ACEIN THE HOLE.

- INAPPROPRIATE!

announcer: AND IT BECAME GAME...

- [grunts]

announcer: SET...

- [groans]

announcer: MATCH MADE IN HELL.

Captioning by CaptionMaxwww.captionmax.com

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