Gas Attack

Two members of the new faction in charge of ‘liberated’ Libya, are selling some of Gaddafi's stashed weapons when they explode a canister of mustard gas, cleverly hidden in containers of UN Relief Supplies.

HABIB AND HADAL ARE A COUPLEOF LIBYAN REBELS

REJOICING IN THEIR COUNTRY'SNEWFOUND INDEPENDENCE.

NOT BECAUSE ITFREED THEIR PEOPLE,

BUT BECAUSE IT ALLOWED THEMTO CASH IN.

- WELCOME TOMY CANDY SHOP.

WE HAVE GUNS, WE HAVE ROCKETLAUNCHERS, .45 CALIBER.

- AFTER THE REAL REBELSCHASED GADDAFI

AND HIS LOYALISTSOUT OF TOWN,

THESE TWO GUYSPICKED UP THE SPOILS:

GOVERNMENT STOCKPILESOF WEAPONS AND FOOD.

- OKAY, IF YOU BUY THIS ONE,I GIVE YOU THIS ONE FOR FREE.

A SHOTGUN...FOR FREE.

- AND WITH TWO AL-QAEDAOPERATIVES ITCHING

TO GET BACKTO KILLING INFIDELS,

HABIB AND HADAL FIGUREDTO MAKE BANK.

- VERY GOOD RUSSIAN,FULLY AUTOMATIC.

- HOW MUCH ALL THESE?

- EVERYTHING YOU SEE: $5,000.

- THE NEGOTIATIONSWENT BACK AND FORTH...

- $2,000.- UNTIL HABIB THREW IN

A LOCAL DELICACY.

- I GIVE YOU EVERYTHING, $3,500,AND TWO BARRELS OF HUMMUS.

- $3,000, AND THAT'S IT.- OH, MY BROTHER--

- NO, NO DEAL.NO, NO DEAL.

- OKAY, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,SHOW HIM HOW IT WORKS.

- THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAYTO CLOSE THIS DEAL...

- THIS IS HOW WE DOIN BENGHAZI, LOOK.

- OKAY, SHOOT, SHOOT.

- GADDAFI![gunfire blasting]

- AAH!

all: [yelling]

- THE GUNS WORKED,

BUT IT WAS THE CHEMICAL WEAPONSSTASHED IN THE HUMMUS BARRELS

THAT GOT EVERYBODY'S ATTENTION.- THIS HUMMUS IS SMOKING.

- DON'T WORRY,WE HAVE A LOT OF HUMMUS.

- NOT HUMMUS.

- [coughing]- THIS IS GAS.

- NOT JUST ANY GAS,

A LETHAL COMBINATIONOF MUSTARD AND SARIN GAS.

all: [coughing]

- MUSTARD GAS IS LETHALAND WILL KILL YOU

FROM BLISTERSFROM AROUND THE BODY

AND DOWN THE THROATAND LUNGS.

SARIN GAS KILLSVERY QUICKLY,

ATTACKING THE CENTRALNERVOUS SYSTEM

AND CAUSING A LOSSOF MUSCLE CONTROL.

YOU URINATE, DEFECATE,AND EVENTUALLY SUFFOCATE.

- HABIB AND HADAL WERE A COUPLEOF GUN-RUNNERS

WHO THOUGHT THEY'DMAKE A KILLING.

INSTEAD, THEY SHOT UPA HUMMUS BARREL

AND GOT SOME BAD GAS.

[ominous music]

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