Kiss of Death

  • Season 3
  • Aired 11/21/2011
  • 50,299 Views

A cougar who blogs about her sexual misadventures with rock stars dies from a hickey.

- I'D LIKE TO TAKEA TOUR OF YOU.

- BONNIE LIKE TO KISSAND TELL.

SHE HAS A SEX BLOGCALLED "UNDER THE COVERS."

[both moaning]

- FIRST SHE BONES...

THEN SHE BLOGS.

- HE WAS IN AND OUTBEFORE I KNEW IT.

[giggling]

OOH, HAIRLESS CHEST.

- SHE SPECIALIZESIN ROCK MUSICIANS.

WHO BETTER TO SATISFY HERVORACIOUS APPETITE

FOR NO-STRING SEX?

- OH, BABY!

OH, BLOG ME!OH, I LOVE WHEN YOU BLOG ME!

- SEX BLOGGING HAS PROBABLY BEENAROUND AS LONG AS BLOGGING

HAS BEEN AROUND.

THEY RATE THEM ON DURATION,SEXUAL ATTRACTIVENESS,

SIZE, IF YOU WILL.

I LIKE TO COMPARE MY PARTNERSTO DESSERTS.

ONE MAN CAN BEBANANA CREAM PIE.

I MEAN, I COULD EAT THATEVERY DAY.

AND SOME MEN ARE LIKEBITTERSWEET

LIKE A LEMON MERINGUE PIE

AND YOU DON'T WANNA EAT THATEVERY DAY.

MAYBE NOT EVER.

- "UNDER THE COVERS" WASBECOMING AN INTERNET SENSATION

AND WAS ABOUT TO GET BIGGER.

BONNIE HAD BOOKED HERMOST FAMOUS STAR YET.

- COMING UP FANS,I HAVE ALEX FROM BLOOD TURKEY.

- WITH THE POUTY-LIPPED ALEXMANNING THE MIC,

BLOOD TURKEY FILLED ARENASAROUND THE WORLD.

BONNIE WAS LOOKING FOR ALEXTO FILL SOMETHING ELSE.

- GOBBLE, GOBBLE.

- HOW ARE YOU?- GOOD.

HOW ARE YOU?- GOOD, THANK YOU.

- ALEX DIDN'T REALIZEWHAT HE HAD GOTTEN HIMSELF INTO.

- YEAH, SO WE'RE GOINGTO SAN FRANCISCO NEXT WEEK.

THAT WILL BE AWESOME.

- SEX WITH A SKANK WAS NOTON HIS TO-DO LIST.

- I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUSTAN INTERVIEW.

- LET ME EXPLAIN.

- I TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF,YOU TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF,

AND YOU FILL IN MY BLANK.

- I'M GONNA GO.

- SERIOUSLY?

I'LL SHOW HIM,BIG STUD ROCK STAR.

I DON'T THINK SO.

- NOBODY TURNS DOWN A FREE RIDEON BONNIE.

- AH.

- WITH REVENGE ON HER MIND,SHE USES HER VACUUM CLEANER

TO GIVE HERSELF THE MOTHERSUCKER OF ALL HICKIES.

- OH, GOD.

- IF ALEX DIDN'T WANNA LEAVEHIS MARK ON HER,

SHE'D DO IT HERSELF.

- GOD, THAT STINGS.OH!

- BUT SOMETHING TRULYDOES SUCK.

- OH, GOD, THAT HURT!

- THE VACUUM HOSE CREATEDAN ARTERIAL BLOOD CLOT

IN HER NECK.

BONNIE STANDS UP...

AND DROPS DEAD.

- ONCE A CLOT FORMED IN HERCOMMON CAROTID ARTERY,

IT TRAVELS INTO THE INTERNALCAROTID ARTERY,

LODGING ITSELF IN THE VESSELSOF THE BRAIN.

THERE, IT CAUSEDAN ISCHEMIC STROKE,

OR CUTTING OFF THE BLOOD SUPPLYTO THE BRAIN TISSUE.

DURING THAT STROKE,HER BRAIN TISSUE WAS DYING

AT THE RATE OF TWO MILLION CELLSPER MINUTE.

AT THAT RATE, SHE WOULD'VE DIEDWITHIN A COUPLE OF MINUTES.

- BONNIE THOUGHT HER SEX BLOG

WOULD BRING HERFAME AND FORTUNE.

- AH!- [moans]

- BUT IN THE END...- AH!

- SHE WENT FROM UNDER THE COVERSTO SIX FEET UNDER.

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