The Long Haul

  • Season 3
  • Aired 03/30/2011
  • 57,786 Views

A mover with no respect for property dies under an antique armoire falling from an overpacked moving truck, which crushes his head.

- WATCH THE DOOR.

announcer: AT ITS BEST,

MOVING CAN BE ONE OF LIFE'SWORST EXPERIENCES.

SURRENDERING ONE'S PRECIOUSVALUABLES TO STRANGERS

IS TRAUMATIZING.

- [laughing] CAREFULWITH THAT FIRST CHAIR.

- LADY, WE GOT THIS.

announcer:BUT THESE TWO LOSERS

ARE IN A CLASS BY THEMSELVES.

DICKIE AND DONNYBILL THEMSELVES

AS STARVING STUDENTS.

BUT THEY WEREJUST TWO EX-CONS

LOOKING TO RIP PEOPLE OFF.

DICKIE SPOTS A NICE PIECEOF ANTIQUE CRYSTAL.

AND MAKES IT DISAPPEAR.

- EX-CONS ARE HIRED BYMOVING COMPANIES ALL THE TIME.

UM, THEY'RE BIG GUYS,THEY'RE BURLY.

ALL THEY'VE BEEN DOINGIN JAIL IS BEEN EATING STARCHES

AND MASHED POTATOES,AND JUST BULKING UP

AND LIFTING WEIGHTS,PUSH-UPS OR WHATEVER THE DO.

IF THEY SEEAN ITEM THEY LIKE,

THEY'LL TAKE IT.

announcer: FINALLY, THEY HADONE LAST PIECE TO HUMP.

- WATCH THE CORNER.

announcer: A HEAVY,HARD-TO-HANDLE ARMOIRE.

- CAREFUL, CAREFUL, CAREFUL,CAREFUL, GUYS.

[engine starts]

announcer: AFTER THIS,PAWN THE CRYSTAL,

AND OFF TO THE RACETRACK.

- WHOA!

[squish]

- HE WAS IMMEDIATELY PANCAKED,

AND THIS SHARP CRYSTAL OBJECT

LAYING DIRECTLYOVER THE HEART

WOULD PENETRATETHROUGH THE STERNUM,

THROUGH THE LUNGS,

INTO THE RIGHT VENTRICLE,

CAUSE HEMORRHAGINGINTO THE HEART,

CAUSING DEATH IN SECONDS.

announcer: DICKIE AND DONNYWERE MOVERS

WITH LARCENY IN THEIR VEINS.

- CAREFUL WITH THAT.

announcer: THEY ROBBEDTHEIR CLIENTS BLIND,

BUT THEN DONNY...

FORGOT DICKIE.- WHOA!

announcer: AND NOW DICKIE...

- OH, MY GOD.

announcer: IS DEADIE.

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