Breaking News

  • Season 3
  • Aired 10/31/2011
  • 11,040 Views

An ambitious TV reporter doing a story on a hurricane gets nailed by a flying projectile.

- IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE

THAT ANYONE WOULD WANT TO STEALA SEEING-EYE DOG,

BUT THEY HAVE.

- JOE WASA LOCAL NEWS REPORTER

WITH BIG DREAMSOF COVERING NATIONAL STORIES.

- BACK TO YOU, MIKE.

- THERE WAS JUSTONE PROBLEM.

- I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHINGIN THIS.

I GOTTA HEAR THE ANCHOR.WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

- JOE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHINGEXCEPT LOOKING GOOD ON CAMERA.

[phone rings]- BUT THEN JOE GOT THE CALL

ABOUT A STORY...- HURRICANE, HUH?

- THAT WOULD MAKENATIONAL NEWS.

- FINALLY WE GOTA REAL STORY TO WORK WITH.

- A TROPICAL STORMIS NOT A HURRICANE,

AND UNTIL SUSTAINED WINDSHIT 74 MILES PER HOUR,

HURRICANES CAN DUMP12 TO 20 INCHES OF RAINFALL,

THEY CAN CREATE WAVES UP TO50 FEET OUT ON THE OPEN OCEAN,

THEY CAN FLOOD100 MILES OF COASTLINE

WITH TEN FEET OF WATER.

- WITHIN HOURSOF THE INITIAL REPORTS,

THE HURRICANE MADE LANDFALL...- WHAT?

- AND JOE COULD JUST FEELTHAT NATIONAL NEWS ANCHOR JOB

BLOWING HIS WAY.

- HOW'S THE HAIR?

- GREAT, JOE.GO FOR IT.

- AS YOU CAN SEE BEHIND ME,THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS,

THEY ARE VIRTUALLY HORIZONTAL.

I'M THE ONLY PERSON OUT HERE,BRAVING THE ELEMENTS.

- JOE MADE IT SEEMLIKE HE WAS BRAVE

FOR COVERINGTHIS MASSIVE STORM.

- I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGHFOR EVERYONE TO STAY INDOORS.

I CAN'T--

- [yells]

- BUT IN THE END,HE COULDN'T EVEN STICK IT OUT.

JOE WAS TRYINGTO FIX HIS HAIR,

THE 150 MILE AN HOUR WINDSHAD BROKEN A MAILBOX FREE.

- THIS SIX-INCH DIAMETERFENCEPOST,

TRAVELING AT HURRICANE SPEEDSOF OVER 100 MILES AN HOUR,

IMPALEDINTO THIS MAN'S CHEST,

ACTUALLY TORE THE HEARTRIGHT OFF OF THE MAJOR VESSELS,

CAUSING MASSIVE BLEEDINGAND INSTANTANEOUS DEATH.

- I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH--

- JOE WON'T BE DELIVERINGANY MORE NEWS.

HE'S FEELING A BIT...

UNDER THE WEATHER.

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