Crushed By The Competition

  • Season 3
  • Aired 07/18/2011
  • 47,913 Views

A beauty pageant for chubby women backfires on a mean-spirited heckler when the contestants accidentally crush him to death.

- AFTER A DAY-LONG CONFERENCE,

WHAT DO TWOINSURANCE SALESMEN DO?

- LET'S HIT THE BAR.

- DRINK.

AND ONCE THEY'RE DRUNK,WHAT DO THEY HIT NEXT?

- OH, CHECK THAT OUT.

- A BEAUTY PAGEANT.

- WE'RE GOING IN.- HELL YEAH.

- COME ON.

- ♪ LOVELY LADIES

♪ LOVELY INSIDE AND OUT

WE'VE REACHEDTHE FINAL PORTION

OF THE 11TH ANNUALMISS INNER BEAUTY PAGEANT.

- BUT THIS PAGEANTCELEBRATED INNER BEAUTY,

AND THE CONTESTANTSWERE ALL PLUS-SIZED MODELS.

THAT EXPLAINSTHE NEARLY EMPTY ROOM.

- AND NOW WE'VE REACHEDTHE SWIMSUIT COMPETITION.

MISS DEVON.

- IN THE '40s AND '50s,

WOMEN WERE ALLOWEDTO BE MORE CURVACEOUS,

MORE WOMANLY.

THEY WERE BUSTY,THEY WERE BUXOM.

AND THEY WANTTO SEE THAT NOW, I THINK,

IT'S JUST THAT, YOU KNOW,THE WHOLE "THIN IS IN,"

YOU HAVE TO LOOKA CERTAIN WAY.

- MISS ALEGRIA.

- STEVE WAS THERE TO HAVE FUN.

- WHAT IS YOUR TALENT?

- PAUL WAS THERE TO MAKE FUN.

- EATING!

- BETH.

- [imitatesthunderous footsteps]

- HERE'S A FACETIOUS QUESTION.

IS THERE ANYTHINGMORE OBNOXIOUS

THAN A DRUNKINSURANCE SALESMAN?

- MY AMBITIONS AND GOALSARE TO HELP PEOPLE.

- WHY DON'T YOULEAVE 'EM SOME FOOD?

- YOU KNOW WHAT?WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

- FINALLY, THE PLUM PLUMPERSWERE FED UP WITH THE INSULTS.

- HELLO?WHY ARE YOU HERE?

- JUST AS THEY WERE READYTO UNLOAD ON THEIR HECKLERS,

THEIR COMBINED LOAD BROKETHE CORNER SUPPORT OF THE STAGE,

AND A HUMAN AVALANCHE WAS ON.

ALEGRIA GOT IT GOINGWITH 314 POUNDS.

BETH CONTRIBUTED ANOTHER 330.

DEVON TOPPED HIM OFFWITH HER 353.

IT ALL ADDED UPTO A BREATHTAKING,

LIFE-REMOVING 997 POUNDS

OF PULCHRITUDINOUS POUNDINGTHAT SHUT PAUL'S MOUTH FOREVER.

- THIS MAN ALL OF A SUDDEN

HAD OVER 1,000 POUNDSON HIS CHEST.

THERE WAS NO WAY HE WAS GONNABE ABLE TO CARRY THIS WEIGHT.

YOU CAN TOLERATEA REMARKABLY HEAVY

LOAD ON THE CHESTWITHOUT DYING,

HOWEVER ONCE YOU START SEEINGMORE THAN 600 POUNDS,

YOU STARTGETTING INTO TROUBLE.

THE RIBS BROKE,THE LUNGS GOT PUNCTURED,

HE WAS NO LONGER ABLETO BREATHE IN AND OUT,

AND HE SUFFOCATED TO DEATH.

- WE'RE GOING IN.

- DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUTTHE DRUNK INSURANCE SALESMAN?

- WHAT IS YOUR TALENT?- EATING!

- HIS JOKES ABOUT FAT...

[women scream]

...FELL FLAT.

Captioning by CaptionMaxwww.captionmax.com

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