Mow-Ing Violation

  • Season 3
  • Aired 08/01/2011
  • 17,638 Views

A sexy southern girl taking a tractor to the liquor store leads a cop on a slow-speed-chase until she ends up in the whirling blades herself.

- REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME?

announcer: TINA,SHELLY, AND JESSICA

WERE THREE DIVORCEESWHO SPENT THEIR TIME

DRINKING DOWNTHEIR ALIMONY PAYMENTS.

- TO THE DOUCHE BAGS.

announcer:IF THE BOOZE RAN OUT,

THEY TOOK TURNSGOING TO THE LIQUOR STORE.

JESSICA WAS TODAY'SDESIGNATED DRUNK DRIVER.

- IT'S YOUR TURN.

announcer: BUT A RECENT D.U.I.AND IMPOUNDED CAR

POSED A PROBLEM,

BUT NOT FOR LONG.

- MOWER.

BYE.[engine turns]

announcer: JESSICA SET OFFFOR THE OPEN LAWN.

- ANYONE THAT'S OPERATINGA VEHICLE

ON A PRIVATEOR A PUBLIC HIGHWAY,

SUCH AS AN ATV, A BICYCLE,

SOMEONE DRIVINGA MOTORIZED LAWN MOWER,

CAN BE SUBJECT TO ARRESTFOR D.U.I.

THROUGHOUT THE UNITED STATES,

APPROXIMATELY1.4 MILLION PEOPLE

ARE ARRESTED FOR DRIVINGUNDER THE INFLUENCE ANNUALLY,

AND OF THAT NUMBER,

APPROXIMATELY11,000 PEOPLE PER YEAR

ARE KILLED INDRUNK-DRIVING-RELATED ACCIDENTS.

announcer: AFTER RUNNINGTHE STOP SIGN,

JESSICA GOT SOMEUNWANTED ATTENTION.

- MA'AM,STOP THE TRACTOR, PLEASE.

[siren blaring]

SHUT IT OFF!

announcer: WITH THE COPS ONHER TRAIL, JESSICA PUNCHED IT.

[siren blaring]

- MA'AM, STOP THE TRACTOR.

announcer: BUT WITH A TOP SPEEDOF FOUR MILES PER HOUR,

HE ONLY CHOICEWAS TO GO OFF-ROAD.

- I'M GONNA HAVE HER STOPPED.

announcer: THAT'S WHEN JESSICAHIT ROCK BOTTOM.

THE FALL STUNNED HER,

BUT IT DIDN'T STOP THE MOWER.

- THIS HIGH-POWEREDLAWN MOWER--

3,200 RPM, 22-INCH BLADE--

CUT RIGHT THROUGHHER TISSUE,

HER ARTERIES,AND HER BONE.

AND EVEN THEN, IT ONLYSLOWED DOWN TO 2,800 RPM--

STILL ENOUGH FORCE TO CUTTHROUGH THE REST OF HER BODY.

JUST GROUND HER UP,AND ACTUALLY BLED OUT

WITHIN A MATTEROF A FEW SECONDS.

announcer: BY THE TIMETHE COP ARRIVED,

MISS D.U.I. WAS...

D.O.A.

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