Boys 2 Dead

  • Season 3
  • Aired 08/09/2010
  • 4,131 Views

Boy band lead singer Tim liked to fly high, unfortunately he has a problems with landings.

announcer:CAN'T STAND BOY BANDS?

- YOU SUCK!

announcer: STICK AROUND.

YOU'LL LIKEHOW THIS SONG ENDS.

- HIT IT.

[electronic pop music]

♪ BABY

♪ STOP CALLIN' ME BABY

announcer: THERE'SONLY ONE THING MORE ANNOYING

THAN A BOY BAND,AND WE FOUND IT.

- ♪ TWO BABIESCAN'T BE IN LOVE ♪

announcer:AN OVER-THE-HILL BOY BAND,

FILLED WITH MENWHO REFUSE TO RECOGNIZE

THEY'RE NO LONGER BOYS.

- ♪ IT'LL MAKE YOUFEEL HIGHER ♪

Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,GIVE IT UP FOR...

4EVER.

- ♪ BABY

- BEING A BOY BAND, YOU KNOW,HAS A LOT OF ITS CHALLENGES.

THE THING THAT I LOVED THE MOST,I THINK, ABOUT IT

WAS THE CAMARADERIE.

YOU HAD FOUR BROTHERSTHERE WITH YOU ALL THE TIME

TO SHARE MEMORIES,TO GOOF OFF,

TO PLAY PRANKS ON EACH OTHER.

I THINK IT'S A BLESSING

TO BE BETTER LOOKINGTHAN EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD.

announcer:THEY WERE A ONE-HIT WONDER

IN THE EARLY '90S.

- ♪ I DIDN'T MAKE IT...

announcer: BUT THEIR GLORY DAYHAD COME AND GONE.

NOW THEY'RE REDUCED TO PLAYINGDINNER CLUBS AND DIVE BARS

TO LESS-THAN-ENTHUSIASTICAUDIENCES.

- YOU SUCK!

[gong clangs]- ♪ I'M SICK OF YOU, BABY

♪ COULDN'T WEJUST STOP IT, BABY ♪

announcer: EVEN IN THEIR PRIME,

FRONT MAN TIM WASA RAVING EGOMANIAC.

- ♪ STOP CALLIN' ME BABY

I'M THE LEAD SINGER.

THAT'S HOW IT IS.

announcer: HE REFUSED TO ACCEPTTHAT HIS STAR HAD FADED.

[pounding at door]- HEY, GUYS, YOU GOTTA GO ON!

- LET'S GO.

- ♪ BABY

♪ I'M NOT GONNA SAVE YOU

announcer:TONIGHT, TIM WAS DETERMINED

TO PULL OUTALL THE STOPS.

- ♪ WHY CAN'T YOUCALL ME DUDE ♪

announcer:IT WAS WORKING.

THE '90S WEREN'T SO FAR AWAYAFTER ALL.

- 4EVER! WHOO!

announcer: TIM HAD FINALLYLOST IT.

WHEN HE LOOKED OUT UPONTHE PATHETICALLY SMALL AUDIENCE,

HE SAW AN ARENA FILLED

WITH 100,000 SCREAMINGTIM WORSHIPERS.

THEY WERE CALLINGOUT TO HIM.

- TIM! I LOVE YOU!WHOO!

announcer:THEY WANTED TO BE CLOSE

TO HIS BURNING FLAMEOF GREATNESS.

- OHHH!

YEAH!

announcer: HOW COULD HELET THEM DOWN?

[loud thud]

OUCH.

- OH, MY GOD!

- THE INITIAL IMPACTWOULD BE

TO THE REAR ASPECTOF THE VERTEBRA,

WHICH WOULD FOCUSALL THE FORCE

ONTO THE VERTEBRA ITSELF,CAUSING IT TO FRACTURE.

THE LIKELY FRACTURE WOULD BETHE C3 VERTEBRA,

AND THE FORCE AND MOMENTUMOF HIS BODY

WOULD CAUSEHIS SPINAL CORD

TO PUSH INTOTHOSE FRACTURED PIECES,

AND THE RESULTING FRAGMENTSOF BONE

WOULD TEARTHROUGH YOUR SPINAL CORD,

WHICH WOULD CAUSESPINAL CORD DAMAGE

AND PARALYSIS FORNOT ONLY HIS ARMS AND LEGS,

BUT ALSO OF HIS LUNGS.

announcer: WHILE TIM LAY THEREPARALYZED,

HIS LUNGS STOPPED BREATHING,

HIS HEART STOPPED BEATING,

AND HIS BRAINJUST...STOPPED.

IN OTHER WORDS,TIM WAS DEAD...

4EVER.

- ♪ BABY

♪ THE THING IS MAYBE

♪ I'M NOT GONNA SAVE YOU

♪ FROM BEING THE BABY

♪ THAT'S A BABY ALONE

[cheers and applause]

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