Afri-Can't

A mean couple on safari in Africa gets separated from their guides. They pass out from heat exhaustion and awake to being eaten alive by driver ants.

ON AFRICA'SSERENGETI PLAINS,

THE ONE SPECIES OF WILDLIFEYOU DON'T EVER

WANT TO ENCOUNTER...

THE AMERICAN TOURIST.

- DO YOU PEOPLE NOT KNOWHOW TO PAVE A ROAD?

announcer: HERB AND MIRANDA WERESPOILED TRUST FUNDERS

WHO WERE USEDTO GETTING THEIR WAY.

- I NEED TOSEE AN ANIMAL PRONTO.

announcer:IF THEIR GUIDE

COULDN'T FIND THEMANY WILDLIFE TO OGLE...

- I WOULD SETTLEFOR A ZEBRA.

- BORING!

announcer: THEY'DFIND IT THEMSELVES.

- WE'RE GONNA GO OFF

AND WE'RE GONNA HAVEA REAL SAFARI, ALL RIGHT?

- CAN YOU PLEASEGET BACK IN THE JEEP?

- I EXPECT YOUTO BE BACK HERE AT 6:00

TO PICK US UP, OKAY?

- IT WOULDBE INCREDIBLY IDIOTIC

TO TRY TO TREKACROSS THE SAVANNAH

WITHOUT AN EXPERIENCED GUIDE,FRESH DRINKING WATER,

AND THOROUGH PLANNING.

THE LIST OF DIFFERENT ANIMALSTHAT COULD KILL YOU

IN THE SERENGETIGOES INTO THE DOZENS.

AND ON TOP OF THAT,YOU HAVE THE HARSH ENVIRONMENT,

EXTREME HEAT,AND LACK OF WATER.

announcer: THREEAND A HALF HOURS LATER,

THE SIBLINGS WERE PREDICTABLYAND DANGEROUSLY LOST.

- I FEEL LIKEWE'RE GOING IN CIRCLES.

- WE'RE GOINGIN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

WOULD YOU JUST TRUST ME?- [sigh]

announcer: THE 118-DEGREE HEATWAS TAKING A TOLL.

THE BRATTY COUPLEWERE FEELING THE FATIGUE

OF ACCELERATED DEHYDRATION.

BY THE TIME THEYFOUND SHADE,

HERB AND MIRANDAWERE DIZZY AND NAUSEOUS.

THEY PASSED OUTWITHIN MINUTES.

WHAT HAPPENED NEXTCAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED

AS BAD TO WORSE.

AN ENTIRECOLONY OF DRIVER ANTS,

50 MILLION STRONG,WERE ON THE MOVE.

- [screaming]

announcer: AND MADEA NEW HOME FOR THEMSELVES

INSIDE HERB'S BODY.

- DRIVER ANTS AREEXCEEDINGLY DANGEROUS,

AND THE ATTACKS AREVERY COMMON.

AND EACH ONE OFTHE BIG SOLDIER ANTS,

WHICH ARE THE ONES THATDO THE DAMAGE,

ARE NEARLY AN INCH LONG.

AND WHEN OUR VICTIM FELLUNCONSCIOUS WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN,

ANTS WENT IN HIS THROAT,BIT HIM, INJECTED THE ACID,

HIS THROAT SWELLED ANDHE ASPHYXIATED,

AND THEY DEVOURED HIMFROM THE INSIDE OUT.

JUST CHOWED HIM DOWN.

announcer: MIRANDA WAS LUCKY.- [screaming]

announcer:SHE WAS SPARED

BECAUSE THE PERFUMESHE WAS USING

CONTAINEDTRICYCLO DECENYL ALOE ETHER,

A CHEMICALFOUND TO REPEL INSECTS.

- [continues screaming]

announcer: 50 MILLIONIN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT...

THAT MEANS YOU GET TOACT LIKE WORLD-CLASS BRATS.

- I NEED TOSEE A LION, PRONTO.

announcer: 50 MILLIONANTS DOWN YOUR THROAT...

- [screaming]

announcer:THAT MEANS YOU'RE DEAD.

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