Tree Mugger

This guy was nuttier than the organic granola he ate every morning.

[chain saw whirring]

announcer: DEEPIN THE MONTANA WILDERNESS,

A LOGGING CREWIS HARD AT WORK.

CHAIN SAWS AND CRASHING TREESECHO THROUGHOUT THE FOREST.

IT'S THE BATTLEBETWEEN MAN AND NATURE,

AND MAN IS WINNING...

EXCEPT FOR ONE TREE

AND ONE MAN WHO DECIDEDTO TAKE A STAND.

HE CALLS HIMSELF "ROOT DOG."

HE'S LASHED HIMSELFTO A BIG-OLD OAK

AND IS PREPARED TO DEFEND ITWITH HIS LIFE.

- DON'T BE SCARED.

NO--NO TEARS. NO...

announcer:THE ONLY PROBLEM,

ROOT DOG IS NUTTIERTHAN THE ORGANIC GRANOLA

HE EATS EVERY MORNING.

- I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

I'LL PROTECT YOU.

YES, I WILL.I'LL PROTECT YOU.

announcer: WHEN THE LOGGERSFINALLY SHOW UP,

ROOT DOG RANTS...

- MURDERERS!

announcer:AND RAVES...

- YOU GREEDY, MEAT-SUCKINGBLOOD VESSELS.

announcer:AND THE LOGGERS WANDER OFF,

SHAKING THEIR HEADS.

THERE'S PLENTY OF OTHER TREESTO CUT DOWN.

- I FEEL...

announcer: THEN ANOTHER FRIENDOF THE FOREST SHOWS UP.

- [growling]

[roars]

- GO ON, SHOO.

GO! NO, NO!NO! NO!

announcer: MR. GRIZZLY BEARLOVES NATURE LOVERS.

- AAH!NO! NO! NO!

announcer:HE MAKES A NICE MEAL

OUT OF THE CRUNCHY, MUNCHYTREE HUGGER.

- YOU HAVE TO KEEP IN MINDTHAT A BEAR IS AN OMNIVORE.

HE'LL TAKE AND EATANYTHING HE CAN.

announcer: THE BEAR DOESN'T CAREWHAT PART IT EATS EITHER.

IT GOES RIGHT DOWNON ROOT DOG'S ROOT.

- GET OUT!I NEED THAT! I NEED THAT!

GET OFF! GO! GET OFF!

- YOU CAN SEE THE BEARIS NOT INTIMIDATED.

THE BEAR'S IN NO RUSH.

YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

YOU'RE TIED TO A TREE,

SO, EVENTUALLY,HE'S GONNA GO CRUNCH,

AND THEN HE'S GOING,"THAT TASTED PRETTY GOOD

AND WAS VERY EASY."

AND SO HE'LL STARTPULLING ON PIECES.

YOU'RE GONNA BECOME LUNCH.

- AAH! NO! AAH!

- THOSE GUYS THAT WANTTO BECOME ONE WITH THE ANIMALS,

THEY DO.

announcer:ROOT DOG BELIEVED IN NATURE.

- I'LL PROTECT YOU.

announcer: IN THE END,YOU CAN SAY THAT NATURE WAS...

- GO AWAY! GO AWAY!

announcer:WELL-SERVED.

Captioned by CaptionMaxwww.captionmax.com

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