Tattoo Artist High On Drugs

  • Season 2
  • Aired 02/20/2014
  • 1,216 Views

When a female bartender becomes smitten with a handsome tattoo artist, she goes to his shop for some ink. She becomes very focused on his looks, and overlooks the fact that he's on drugs. This is not the formula for a good tattoo.

- HONEY, HOW THE HELLDID YOU WIND UP WITH THIS?

- I WORKED AT A BAR.

AND ONE DAY,

THIS REALLY, REALLY HOT GUYWALKS IN.

AND I NEEDED TO KNOW HIM.

LIKE, I DID.- [laughs]

- SO, UM, WHAT DO YOU DO?

- I'M A TATTOO ARTIST.

- GOD, IS IT HOT IN HERE,OR IS IT JUST YOU?

- OH, NO.IT'S ME.

- A COUPLE WEEKS LATER,ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND DECIDED

THAT WE WERE GONNAGO GET TATTOOED BY HIM.

- [gasps]OH, MY GOD.

[sighs]

- AND HE IS TEN TIMES HOTTERTHAN I REMEMBERED HIM BEING.

AND HE WAS LIKE, "OH, WELL,WHO'S GONNA GO FIRST?"

- AND YOU WERE LIKE--

- AND I WAS LIKE,"I AM GOING FIRST."

I REALLY WANTED THE CROSSAND THE ROSE COLORED AND BRIGHT.

AND HE IS LIKE...- COLOR?

YEAH, I CAN DO THAT.

IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME.

- YOU'RE REALLY WELL-HYDRATED.

- BUT WITHIN TEN MINUTES,HE'S LIKE,

"I NEED TO TAKE A BREAK."- MM-HMM.

- HE COMES BACK AND, YOU KNOW,THERE WAS SOMETHING

A LITTLE OFF ABOUT HIM.

- SO WHAT ARE WE DOING?

- WE WERE DOING MY TATTOO,REMEMBER?

- TATTOO.

- LOTS OF COLOR.

- I DIDN'T EVEN LOOKAT THE TATTOO

THE ENTIRE TIME HE DID IT.

I WAS JUST TOO BUSYSTARING AT HIM.

- DONE.

- UM, WHERE'S THE COLOR?

- COLOR?

[shouting]YOU WANT COLOR?

YOU WANT COLOR?- OH!

- HERE'S YOUR COLOR![both scream]

COLOR!

- HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

- HE TOOK OFF,BACK INTO THAT ROOM.

HE WAS FACEDOWN ON A TABLE,WITH A PIPE IN HIS HAND.

HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS DEAD.

- [gasps]

- YOU WANT A HIT?- A HIT?

- HE OFFERED US SOME.

YOU WANT TO HEARTHE WORST PART?

- WHAT?

- HERE'S A TIP.YOU EARNED IT.

THANK YOU. BYE!- BYE.

- I TIPPED HIM $50.

- WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

- I DON'T KNOW.

HE WAS SO HOT.

[laughter]

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