Headless Warden

  • Season 3
  • Aired 03/19/2012
  • 11,752 Views

The abusive male warden flies into a rage and is killed by a flash-bang grenade

- READY TO GO.

ALL INMATESOUT OF YOUR CELL.

THE WARDENHAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.

WARDEN HADLEY, OF THE STATEWOMAN'S CORRECTIONAL FACILITY,

IS AN ABUSIVE HARD-ASSWHO CUTS ABSOLUTELY NO SLACK.

- OKAY, ANIMALS, THINGS AREGONNA BE DIFFERENT AROUND HERE.

THERE'S NOT GONNA BEANY PHONE CALLS,

ANY VISITATION,OR ANY YARD.

[yelling]

- HE HATES EVERYONEIN THE JOINT

WITH ONE EXCEPTION...

HIS DOG, BEAR.

- IT'S JUST YOU AND ME,BEAR.

- THIS WARDEN NOT ONLYABUSES HIS PRISONERS...

- WARDEN HADLEY,HERE ARE THE CUPCAKES

YOU ASKED USTO CONFISCATE.

- HE RIPS THEM OFF.

- MMM, YUMMY CUPCAKES.

YOU WANTTHE WHITE ONE?

I THINK I'M GONNAHAVE THE BLUE ONE.

MMM.

THIS ONE LOOKS SO GOOD,DOESN'T IT BEAR?

OH, BEAR--

- HE DIDN'T REALIZE IT,BUT THAT BLUE CUPCAKE

WAS CHALK FULL OF SOME PCP

A PRISONER WAS TRYINGTO SMUGGLE IN.

- BEAR, OH, BEAR.

- WITHIN MINUTES,WARDEN HADLEY IS EXHIBITING

ALL THE SYMPTOMSOF A FULL-ON PCP OVERDOSE--

- LICKY, LICKY, LICKY.

WHOO, WHOO, WHOO.

- HALLUCINATIONSAND BIZARRE ACTS OF VIOLENCE.

- RAWR.

- AAH!

[yelling]

LEFT, LEFT, LEFTRIGHT, LEFT, TURN.

LEFT, LEFT, AAH!

AAH!

- ONLY ONE WAY TO PUT A STOPTO THIS ONE-MAN PRISON RIOT...

ROLL A CROWD-CONTROLFLASH GRENADE IN THERE

AND CALM THINGS DOWN.

UH-OH, THAT'SA LITTLE TOO CLOSE.

- OH!

[gags]

- ONCE THE GRENADE GOES OFF,TEMPERATURES CAN REACH

APPROXIMATELY3,000 TO 4,000 DEGREES.

AND WITHIN A FOOTOF YOUR HEAD,

THERE'S SHOCK WAVE.

IT CAN BREAK BLOOD VESSELSIN YOUR BRAIN,

CAUSE SERIOUS INJURY,AND DEATH.

- WARDEN HADLEYSTOLE SOME CUPCAKES.

- MMM, I THINK I'M GONNAHAVE THE BLUE ONE.

- ONE PACKEDA POWERFUL PCP PUNCH.

- OH, BEAR.

- HE GOT HIS JUST DESERTSWHEN HE FLIPPED OUT...

- AAH!

- TRIPPED OUT...

AND LOST HIS HEAD.

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