Hosed

  • Season 3
  • Aired 10/19/2011
  • 19,139 Views

A corporate security officer is struck by a flailing fire hose while trying to wet down a group of protesters.

narrator:WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?

A WET T-SHIRT CONTEST?

NOPE. MORE LIKEWET T-SHIRT PROTEST.

THESE WOMEN ARE SUBMITTINGTO A PUBLIC HOSING

IN ORDER TO PROTESTTHE UNETHICAL TREATMENT

OF ANIMALS AT THISPHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY.

- [laughs]

- THEY USE ALL KINDS OF ANIMALSIN ANIMAL TESTING.

THEY USE DOGS,THEY USE CATS,

RABBITS, BIRDS,YOU NAME IT.

ANIMAL TESTING IS ABOUT 6%

AND THE PRODUCT TESTINGIS ABOUT 94%.

BUT THE PRODUCT TESTINGIS NOT REQUIRED

BY THE GOVERNMENT.

THE COMPANIES DO ITFOR LIABILITY PURPOSES.

THEY DON'T WANT TO BEIN A SITUATION

WHERE THEY DON'T HAVEDATA FOR COURTS.

narrator: THE SECURITY GUARDMANNING THE HOSE IS LENNY.

- HA HA! JUST FOR YOU.

narrator: HE'S JUSTA FRUSTRATED WANNABE COP

WHO WAS TOO DUMB TO PASSTHE POLICE EXAM.

NOW THINGS AREWAY TOO PC.

YOU GOTTA BE DELICATE,YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL.

narrator: AS USUAL, LENNY WASTOO BUSY BEING A BLOWHARD

AND DIDN'T SEE THE PROTESTORSSNEAK ONTO THE PLANT PROPERTY.

all: STOP ANIMAL CRUELTY!- WATCH AND LEARN.

narrator: THIS WAS A PERFECTOPPORTUNITY FOR LENNY

TO AIR OUTHIS CRUEL STREAK.

TELL IT TO THE HOSE!

[women shrieking]

narrator: BUT THE TUBBY LOSERCOULDN'T HANDLE

THE 1200 POUNDS PER SQUARE INCHOF WATER PRESSURE

BLASTING OUT OF THE NOZZLE.

WHIPPING BACK AND FORTHAT OVER 30 MILES PER HOUR,

THE OUT-OF-CONTROL HOSEBECAME A LETHAL WEAPON.

FIRST, IT TOOKLENNY'S LEGS OUT.

AND THEN IT TOOK HIM OUT.

[woman screaming]

- ALTHOUGH BRASS IS ONEOF THE SOFTER METALS,

THE TEN-POUND NOZZLE CAUSEDA PENETRATING HEAD INJURY

AND MASSIVECRANIAL HEMORRHAGE.

HIS BRAIN CEASEDANY FUNCTION

AND DIED WITHIN SECONDS.

narrator: LENNY WASA FRUSTRATED RENT-A-COP

WHO THOUGHT HE WAS A BAD-ASS.

- YEAH!

narrator: ALL IT TOOKWAS SOME PROTESTERS...

- STOP ANIMAL CRUELTY!

narrator: A HOSE,AND A SHATTERED SKULL

TO PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE.

A VERY DEAD PLACE.

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