Dead Light, Green Light

  • Season 3
  • Aired 02/22/2012
  • 8,952 Views

A ticket scalper who sold fake tickets bolts across the street as the walk sign flashes and is hit by a car.

- TICKETS.TICKETS RIGHT HERE.

GET YOUR TICKETS RIGHT HERE.THAT'S RIGHT.

- STEVE IS THAT PARTICULAR TYPEOF SLEAZEBAG KNOWN AS A SCALPER.

- I GOT TWO GREAT SEATSRIGHT HERE.

- BUT HE WAS STRICTLYSECOND AND THIRD-TIER,

SCALPING TICKETS FOR SEMIPROAND HIGH SCHOOL GAMES.

- 85 EACH, HOW'S THAT?- 85 EACH?

- HEY, GREAT GAME. COME ON.

TICKET SELLING ISTHE PUREST FORM OF CAPITALISM.

THE BIGGEST MARKUPTHAT PEOPLE ARE WILLING

TO PAY IN THE TICKET INDUSTRYIS USUALLY BIG SPORTING EVENTS.

A CHAMPIONSHIP GAMETHAT TAKES PLACE ONCE A YEAR

HAS A FACE VALUE OF,FOR EXAMPLE, $500 TO $800.

THAT TICKET COULD SELL,EASILY, FOR TEN TIMES THAT.

- STEVE ISN'T JUST A SCALPER,

HE'S A SCAMMER.

- THIS TICKET'S FAKE.- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

- THOSE TICKETSHE JUST SOLD ARE COUNTERFEIT.

- STEP OUT OF LINE, PLEASE.

- YOU GOT A FAKE TICKET, TOO?

- STEVE FORGOTTHE ONE RULE ABOUT SELLING

COUNTERFEIT TICKETS.

- DON'T STICK AROUNDTO COUNT YOUR MONEY.

- HEY, YOU!

- AND NOW, PAYBACKWAS QUICKLY CLOSING IN.

- YOU SOLD ME FAKE TICKETS!

WHERE DO YOU THINKYOU'RE GOING?

- HE MADE A RUN FOR IT.

- GET OVER HERE!

I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS, MAN!

[brakes screeching]

- WHAT STEVE DIDN'T KNOWWAS THAT HE WASN'T

THE ONLY SLIMEBALLAROUND THAT DAY.

WHILE STEVEWAS BUSY RIPPING PEOPLE OFF...

- YOU GUYS HAVE A GREAT TIME.- THANK YOU.

- A SLUG WAS BUSY TRYINGTO STAY MOIST

AND OUT OF THE HOT SUN.

- IT'S FAKE.- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

- THE SLUG FOUND SOME SHADE

INSIDE THETRAFFIC SIGNAL'S CONTROL BOX

AND WOUND UP SHORTING IT OUT.

THE SIGNAL READ "WALK"FOR STEVE...

- HEY!

- BUT IT ALSO READ "GREEN"FOR TRAFFIC.

[brakes screeching]

- NOW, THE CABINETRYTHAT CONTAINS

THE ELECTRONICS FOR THE SIGNALS,IT IS SUBJECT TO VARIATIONS IN

HUMIDITY AND MOISTURE,AND ALSO VULNERABLE

TO SMALL ANIMALS,RODENTS, INSECTS.

CREATURES CAN GET INSIDEOF THE CONTROL CABINET

AND SHORT IT OUT.

SHOULD LOOK LEFTAND RIGHT, REGARDLESS

OF WHAT THE LIGHT SAYS,"WALK" OR "DON'T WALK."

- WHEN THE S.U.V. STRUCK STEVE,

IT CRUSHED HIS RIBCAGE,PUNCTURED HIS LUNGS,

AND RUPTURED HIS SPLEEN.

HE SUFFEREDMASSIVE INTERNAL BLEEDING,

HIS SPINAL COLUMN WAS CRUSHED,

AND HE WAS DEAD BY THE TIMEHE HIT THE ASPHALT.

STEVE WAS A SLIMEBAG,COUNTERFEITING SCALPER.

MR. SLUG WAS JUST TRYINGTO KEEP FROM BURNING UP.

WHEN STEVEAND THE SLUG CROSSED PATHS...

THE SCALPERGOT HIS TICKET PUNCHED.

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