Alcohol Bath

  • Season 4
  • Aired 07/17/2012
  • 38,336 Views

(When a germaphobic, anti-gay protestor is kissed on the cheek by another man, he attempts to sterilize his entire body by immersing himself in ethanol, which results in osmotic alcohol poisoning.

FOR JEREMY,TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE

WAS LIKE GETTING READYFOR THE OPERATING ROOM.

HE'S A GERMAPHOBE,

SOMEONE WHO LIVESIN FEAR OF GERMS

AND THE PEOPLEWHO CARRY THEM...

- HEY!- NO...

- FINALLY GETTO MEET THE MAN

WITH THE BIG HOUSEAND THE GOOD TRASH.

- LIKE THISHOMELESS MAN,

LOOKING FOR SOME BREAKFASTTO GO WITH HIS COFFEE.

- NO, NO, NO,YOU'RE DIRTY.

GO AWAY, GO AWAY, GO AWAY!

- [sneezing]- AAH!

- A GERM ATTACKOF THIS MAGNITUDE

REQUIRES AFULL-SCALE RESPONSE:

- AAH!

- A BATHTUB FULL OF PUREISOPROPYL ALCOHOL.

JEREMY'S ABOUT TO BECOMEA HUMAN MARTINI.

- AAH, I'M DIRTY!

GERMS!

[moaning]

[groaning]

- JEREMY DOESN'TREALIZE IT,

BUT HE'SGETTING SMASHED.

THE RUBBING ALCOHOL IS ABSORBEDTHROUGH HIS SKIN,

DIRECTLY INTOHIS BLOODSTREAM.

AND HE GOESFROM DEAD DRUNK

TO JUST DEAD.

- THIS GENTLEMAN SITTINGIN A BATH OF ALCOHOL,

ALLOWING IT TO ABSORBTHROUGH HIS BODY,

THROUGH HIS SKIN,THROUGH HIS MUCUS MEMBRANES.

HE BECAME INTOXICATEDAND PASSED OUT.

HIS BREATHINGGRADUALLY DIMINISHED

TO THE POINT WHERE HE WENTINTO RESPIRATORY ARREST

AND HE DIED.

- FOR JEREMY, IT WASA BIG OLD DIRTY WORLD.

IN HIS ATTEMPT TO WASHTHE GERMS AWAY,

HE MADE HIMSELFONE BIG KILLER DRINK.

[ominous music]

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