Do NOT Tattoo Your Boyfriend's Name On Your Ribs

This young woman tells the tale of how she got an ugly blue tattoo of her ex-fiance's name. Suffice it to say: things didn't work out with the wedding.

- SO WHAT'S UP, GIRL?

HOW DID YOU END UPWITH THIS DUDE'S NAME,

YOU AIN'T EVENMARRIED TO HIM?

- I WAS, LIKE, 23 YEARS OLD.

I WAS MADLY IN LOVEWITH MY BOYFRIEND.

HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND.

WE DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER.

[both smooching]

HE DID MANISAND PEDIS WITH ME.

- YOU'RE, LIKE,THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!

- I KNOW!

- [speaking native language]

[laughter]

- WAIT, WHAT?- YEAH.

- HE DID MANICURESAND PEDICURES WITH YOU?

- YEAH.WE ALWAYS DID IT.

SO ONE DAY,HE TOOK ME TO DINNER ...

- BABY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

- YES!YES!

- [screaming]

- HE WAS SUPER EXCITEDABOUT PLANNING THE WEDDING,

DOING WEDDING STUFF...

MORE EXCITED THAN I'VE EVERSEEN ANY GUY, EVER.

WE ACTUALLYWENT DRESS SHOPPING.

- AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO DOTHAT [bleep]

WITH YOUR HOMEGIRLS?

- YEAH, LIKE,THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING.

- HUGS THE BODY VERY WELL,LIFTS THE BREASTS, YOU KNOW?

- MAYBE I SHOULD TRY IT ON,JUST--JUST TO BE SURE.

- OH, I'M SORRY.[laughs]

- THEN HE WAS LIKE, "I HAVEONE MORE SURPRISE FOR YOU,"

AND I WAS LIKE,"ALL RIGHT, WHAT IS IT?"

WE PULL UP TO A TATTOO SHOP,AND HE'S LIKE,

"I THINK WE SHOULD GET OUR NAMESTATTOOED ON EACH OTHER."

"THAT'S GOING TO BE, LIKE,OUR WEDDING GIFT TO EACH OTHER."

SO AFTER THAT,I GET A PHONE CALL.

IT'S A GIRL, AND SHE'S LIKE,"I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND,

AND HE WAS SUPPOSEDTO PAY MY CELL PHONE BILL."

- WHAT?

- I WAS LIKE, "MEET UPWITH ME AND I'LL PAY YOU."

- WHAT?- I GOT TO THE RESTAURANT,

AND I'M LIKE,"THAT'S NOT A GIRL."

- WAIT A MINUTE, BUT YOU NOTICEDTHAT IT WAS A DUDE RIGHT AWAY.

- SHE WAS LIKE CROUCHING TIGER,HIDDEN [bleep].

[laughter]

- SOMEONE SAID THAT THEYWOULD TURN MY PHONE ON.

- DID YOU GUYS ACTUALLY DO IT?OH, MY GOD.

- YOUR MANSAID HE WAS INTO THIS

AND HE WASINTO MY PHONE BILL.

- OH, MY GOSH, I DIDN'TSEE ANY OF THE SIGNS!

- DID YOU SEE THE SIGN ABOUTPAYING MY PHONE BILL, BITCH?

- I LITERALLY JUST GOT IN MY CARAND DROVE STRAIGHT THERE.

AND I KNOCK ON THE DOOR,AND HE WAS LIKE,

"OH, HEY, WHAT ARE YOUDOING HERE?"

AND I WAS LIKE,"EXPLAIN YOURSELF."

HE JUST STARTED CRYING.

THEN I, LIKE, PUNCHED HIM...

- [whimpers]

- SO HARD.- WHAT? YOU SMACKED HIM UP?

- HELL, YEAH.

I WAS LIKE, "YOU BETTERSTAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME."

I CAN'T BELIEVEI WAS SO DUMB AND SO GULLIBLE.

- I GOT YOU, GIRL.

WE'RE GOING TO COVERTHIS THING UP FOR YOU.

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