Embarrassing Crotch Tattoo Ended Her Engagement

  • Season 3
  • Aired 04/08/2014
  • 13,943 Views

A distressed young lady got the word "Destroy" tattooed above her mid-section in honor of an ex-boyfriend. When her fiance hears the reason for her tattoo, he bails. Can this cover-up save her engagement?

- ALL RIGHT, GIRL,HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET

"DESTROY" TATTOOED ON YOU?

- SO ONE NIGHT,I DECIDED TO GO TO THIS PARTY.

I WALKED IN,AND THERE WAS THIS OH-MY-GOD,

HOT, HOT GUY THERE.

AND HE DIDN'T SPEAKA LICK OF ENGLISH.

- [laughs]I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU JUST SAID,

BUT I NEED IT.

[breathes deeply]

- WELL, THEN HE STARTSKISSING ME

OUT ON THE DANCE FLOOR,

AND I'M LIKE,"OH, I'M LIKING THIS."

AND THEN, FINALLY WE'RE LI--WE MAKE OUR WAY TO THE BEDROOM.

- BUT STILL,HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAVE--

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DOWITH "DESTROY" ON YOU?

- ARE YOU READYFOR THAT PART?

HIS PENIS WAS JUST ENORMOUS.

- [laughing]

- AND NEXT THING I KNOW,

I'M HAVING THE BEST SEX EVER.

- [moaning]

- I WAS LIKE,"I NEED YOU. YOU'RE TOO MUCH.

I NEED IT."

- HE WAS YOUR, LIKE--YOUR DREAM BOY.

YOU WERE JUST ALL--

- YEAH, HE WASMY SPANIARD LOVER.

- AND WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?

- WELL, MY FRIEND CALLS ME,AND SHE'S LIKE,

"YOU WANT TO GOGET A FREE TATTOO?"

- MMM.- AND I'M LIKE, "WHAT?

"A FREE TATTOO?

"OH, MY GOD.HELL YES!

"I AM GONNA GET 'DESTROY'ABOVE MY VAGINA,

TO HONOR MY SPANIARD'SGINORMOUS PENIS."

- [laughing]WHAT THE--

- YES.

- IT'S THE SIZEOF A BABY'S ENTIRE BODY.

[crying]IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

- YEAH. I KNOW.- OH, MY GOD.

- I DECIDED TO TEXT HIMA COUPLE TIMES.

- YOU'LL NEVER GUESSWHAT I JUST DID.

- "LOOK, BABE.I GOT THIS JUST FOR YOU."

HE NEVER RESPONDED.

[speaking Spanish]

[sobbing]

- WHAT?

THAT FOOL STRAIGHTDISAPPEARED ON YOU?

- VANISHED.

FOUR YEARS LATER,I WAS ENGAGED,

AND MY FIANCEHAD NO IDEA THAT IT MEANT

AN EX-BOYFRIEND'S PENIS.

- OH.

- HE OVERHEARS EVERYTHINGABOUT THE REAL STORY.

- I GOT IT TO COMMEMORATETHIS GUY

WHO HAD A REALLY BIG PENIS.

BUT NOW, I'M ENGAGED, AND I--- WHAT?

- LISTEN, YOU DESTROY ME TOO.IN A WAY.

AND I LOVE YOU.WAIT, NO.

COME BACK!

- I KNOW HE DOESN'T HATE ME...- YEAH.

- BUT HE HATESWHAT I HAVE ON MY BODY.

- RIGHT.

- ONCE IT'S GONE, I HOPE

I CAN WIN THE MANTHAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH BACK,

AND HE WILL MARRY ME.

- WELL, I CAN'T PROMISEANY FAIRY-TALE ENDINGS.

WHAT I CAN PROMISE IS TO TRYTO GIVE YOU A GOOD TATTOO.

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