Sports Nut

  • Season 3
  • Aired 07/18/2011
  • 8,690 Views

An abusive football coach is demonstrating proper tackling form when he takes a practice kick to the groin and dies of acute kidney failure.

- HURRY UP.LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO.

HIGH KNEES, HIGH KNEES.LET'S GO, LET'S GO.

- HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL CAN BEA HIGH-PRESSURE ENVIRONMENT.

- MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!

- WHERE THE COACH IS EXPECTEDTO DELIVER OR ELSE.

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

- COACH SHAFFER USED TO BE ONEOF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL IN TEXAS

UNTIL HE WAS CAUGHT CHEATING.

- YOU ARE PATHETIC!GET OUT OF THE DRILL.

- NOW HE'S BEEN REDUCED

TO COACHING A BACKWATER SCHOOLIN WEST VIRGINIA.

- WASTE OF TIME.YOU LOOK PATHETIC.

- AND HE'S TAKING HIS ANGEROUT ON HIS PLAYERS.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?YOU MAKE ME SICK.

GET OUT OF THE DRILL.

- THERE HAS BEEN,UH, AN INCIDENTS OF COACHES,

UH, BEING LET GO, FIRED,

FOR TREATMENTS THEY'VE DONETO PLAYERS ON THE FIELD.

THEY'VE, UH,THROWN GEAR AT THEM.

THROWN FOOTBALLS AT THEM.

I KNOW ONE BASEBALL COACHWHO'S THROWING BATS AT A PLAYER,

AND THEY WERE FIREDON THE SPOT.

- RANDALL'S THE TOUGHESTGUY WE GOT, AND HE'S OUR KICKER!

- IF YOUR KICKER IS THE BESTPLAYER ON YOUR TEAM,

THAT TEAM IS GOING NOWHERE.

- SO YOU GUYS WANT TO BE SOFT?I WILL FIX THAT.

- COACH SHAFFER DECIDEDTO PUNISH HIS PLAYERS

BY RUNNING THEM THROUGH ANOUTLAWED DRILL--THE BULL RING.

- I'LL SHOW YOUHOW TO DO IT.

COME ON. COME ON.

- AND HE WAS THE BULL.

- COME ON!

- HE GOT HIS BELL RUNG,

AND THEN THE KICKER...

- UGH!

- SPLIT HIS UPRIGHTS.

A NUTCRACKER LIKE THATWILL HURT,

BUT THIS ONE WAS FATAL.

WHY?

- BOUGHT YOU SOMEBRAND NEW CLEATS, MAN.

- COACH HAD A LEAD INSERTPLACED IN HIS KICKER'S SHOE,

AND ORDERED HIM TO USE IT.

- THANK YOU, COACH.- GOOD JOB.

- THE MISPLACED PLACE KICK

NAILED SHAFFER'S SACKAND CRUSHED HIS FOOTBALLS.

- THIS MANGOT KICKED IN THE GROIN

AND HE SHATTERED HIS PELVIS.

THE BONE DISLODGED,

AND THE SHARDLACERATED THE KIDNEY.

TOXINS FROM THE URINEWHICH WAS COLLECTED OVER THERE

SPREAD INTO THE BODYAND CAUSED SEPTIC SHOCK

AND CHEMICAL REACTIONS,

WHICH COULD LEAD TO IMMINENTHEMODYNAMIC COLLAPSE,

AND HE DIED.

- COACH.

- COACH SHAFFERWAS AN OVERBEARING TYRANT

WHO THOUGHT CHEATINGWAS ACCEPTABLE.

- BOUGHT YOU SOMEBRAND NEW CLEATS, MAN.

- AS LONG ASHE DIDN'T GET CAUGHT.

THEN HE CAUGHT ONE...

RIGHT IN THE CHOPS.

GAME OVER, COACH.

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