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Hey Y'all! My name is Reggie Warren, Jr.! I'm pretty much the toughest fucking streetfighter walking the planet today. My style is Korean Kung Fu mixed with Royce Gracie chokeholds and Ken Shamrock ankle locks. I don't care how you try to attack me or from what angle... I will deflect your energy with a variety of technical footwork and stomp your fucking face in! I love to beat UFC fighter's asses.

I also love burning the road up in my Cobra, drinking mountain dew, hunting buck and boar with my bare hands, Copenhagen spitting competitions, writing love songs for Cindy, pencil fighting, burning Ozzy on to my knuckles with a pencil eraser (rub it really fucking hard and fast until you see blood, son), funneling Busch Light, doing advanced ninchuck figure 8's, collecting deer piss, and throwing Chinese stars at my Yankee neighbors. They've never called the cops on me cause I convinced them that we have ninjas living in the woods who have been hanging out since the 14th century. Guess what? Those ninjas are me, mane! Move back to France you goddamn yuppie fucking Yankees!

I was discovered by this guy I call "Cameramane" about a year ago. He watched me beat the shit out of about 7 UFC fighters in under 47 minutes and promised me that he would one day get me the chance to try out for the undisputed heavyweight cage-fighting championship of the world. Pussy boy Cameramane told me that he would bring me all over the globe to challenge fighters and that my videos would make me rich enough to one day have my own deer farm.

I hope he's right. If not, I will end his existence with a combination of George Dillman pressure point strikes and the Bruce Lee 28 inch punch! Fuck, now I'm pissed off son! You got me all worked up assholes... Buck up to me son and see what the hell happens!

Raise hell and take it to the hair!

Always in the Spirit,
Reggie Warren Jr.

P.S. My Dad's name is Dwayne. I call myself Jr. cause I think it makes me much tougher when they announce my name in front of big crowds.

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