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Allen's Big Crush

The guys battle with Carolyn and a shill bidder, but land monster truck tires and a mystery box.

YOU STILL HAVING AN AUCTIONTODAY?

ITRIGHT NOW.

- SOUNDS GOOD.

- I'M JUST, UH,WAITING ON SOME PEOPLE.

YOU'VE GOTTA HANG TIGHTFOR A LITTLE BIT, GUYS.

- WELL, YOU'VE GOT TWO BIDDERS.THAT'S ALL YOU NEED, RIGHT?

- THANKS, PARTNER.- ALL RIGHT.

- I THINK HE KNOWSWE'RE TOGETHER,

SO HE'S WAITINGFOR ANOTHER BIDDER.

- THE AUCTIONEER KNOWS THAT HEHAS TO START THIS AUCTION,

EVEN WITH JUST OUR TWO NAMESON THE LIST.

- BUT THIS HACKIS OBVIOUSLY STALLING,

TRYING TO GETMORE BIDDERS HERE.

- HEY, GENTLEMEN.- READY TO GO?

- I'VE GOTSOME BAD NEWS, MAN.

I MIGHT HAVE TO CANCEL

IF YOU GUYS ARE THE ONLY ONESTHAT ARE HERE.

- I DON'T KNOW WHY.

THERE'S TWO BIDDERS HERETHAT HAVE MONEY TO SPEND.

- YEAH, BUT YOU GUYS THINKYOU'RE GONNA BE

DOING THIS BY YOURSELF,HUH? UH-UH.

YOU KNOW,I MAKE MY COMMISSION HERE.

IF YOU GUYSARE THE ONLY ONE HERE,

I DON'T MAKE ANY MONEY.OH, HERE WE GO.

HEY, FRED, GOOD TO SEE YOU,BROTHER.

SIGN ON IN HERE, MAN.

- EXCUSE ME, GUYS.

- WELL, THAT'S CONVENIENT.

- AND THEY KNOW EACH OTHER,AND THAT'S ODD.

- THAT IS WEIRD.

IT LOOKS LIKEWE GOT A SHILL.

SHILL BIDDERS ARE BROUGHT INBY SOME AUCTIONEERS

TO BID UP THE PRICESOF THE UNITS.

AUCTIONEERSARE ON COMMISSION,

SO THEY MAKE MORE MONEYTHAT WAY.

- IT'S A SHADY PRACTICE

WHICH COULD SPELL DISASTERFOR OUR WHOLE DAY.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO BEON OUR GUARD.

- OKAY, GUYS, YOU READY?- SURE, LET'S DO IT.

WELL, HE PHONED A FRIEND.

- I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM BEFORE.HAVE YOU?

- NO, DEFINITELY A SHILL.

- OKAY, GENTLEMEN,YOU KNOW THE RULES, RIGHT?

YOU'VE GOT 24 HOURSTO PICK THIS STUFF.

IT'S ALL AS IS.CASH ONLY.

I'M GONNA OPEN THE DOORS,KEEP YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS,

AND WE'LL THROW THE BID,ALL RIGHT?

- OH!- HOLY HELL.

THIS ISN'T EXACTLYWHAT'S ON THE BIG SIS LIST

OF THINGS TO BUY TODAY,BUT IT'S EASY MONEY.

- YEAH, IF THE SHILLDOESN'T BID US UP TOO HIGH.

- OKAY, GENTLEMEN.STARTING BID AT 25.

I'VE GOT A $25 BID. 25, 25.- RIGHT HERE.

- I'VE GOT A $25 BID.

DO I HAVE 75?- YEAH.

- 75 CURRENT BID.WE'VE GOT A 75--

- RIGHT HERE.- 100 OVER HERE.

- YEAH.- $200 BID OVER THAT WAY.

- 225.- 225. 225.

- YEP.- I'VE GOT A 250 BID.

OVER HERE TO THE RIGHT,275. GOT A 275--

- 275.- 275 TO MY RIGHT OVER HERE.

275 IS THE CURRENT BID.- 300.

- $300 BID OVER HERE.I'VE GOT 325.

325 AND TO YOUR RIGHT.$300 BID GOING ONCE.

$300 BID TWICE.SOLD IT.

- WITHOUT THE SHILL HERE,

WE PROBABLY COULD HAVE GOT THATUNIT FOR UNDER 100 BUCKS.

- A COUPLE EXTRA HUNDRED BUCKSISN'T GONNA HURT US NOW,

BUT IF A BIG-TICKET UNITCOMES UP LATER,

THAT'S WHEN IT COULD BEA PROBLEM.

- IF TON'S RIGHT ABOUTTHE VALUE OF THESE TIRES,

THIS SHOULD BEAN EASY SCORE.

- HEY, HOLD THE AUCTION!WE'RE HERE!

- HOW MANY UNITSWE GOT LEFT?

- LIKE, SO FAR, WE'VE GOT TWO,I THINK, LEFT.

- TWO LEFT? ALL RIGHT.- THIS'LL BE INTERESTING.

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE CAROLYNAND HER DAD

HAD THE SAME IDEA WE DID.

- GREAT.

NOT ONLY DOWE HAVE TO CONTEND

WITH THE SHILLWHO'S BIDDING US UP,

BUT CAROLYN'S HERE--OUR OLD APPRENTICE--

AND SHE KNOWSALL OF OUR TRICKS.

- I'VE GOT A STARTING BIDAT A $200 BID.

I WANT TO HEAR A $200,$200 BID.

- $200.- $200 BID.

I'VE GOT A $200 BID.- YEAH.

- 250, 250.- 300.

- $300 BID. HAVE WE GOT 325?- YEAH!

- $400? ANYBODY, $400?- 500.

- 500 TO MY RIGHT. 550, 525.- YEAH!

- 550 OVER TO MY RIGHT.- 600.

- 600. I'VE GOT A 600--- 1,000.

- $1,000 BID TO MY RIGHT, SIR.$1,000 GOING ONCE.

- 1,500.- $1,500 TO MY LEFT, OVER HERE.

1,500. WE HAVE 1,500.ARE YOU IN OR ARE YOU OUT?

$1,500 THE CURRENT BID.$1,500 BID.

- $2,000.- $2,000 BID TO MY RIGHT.

2,000 THE CURRENT BID,OVER TO MY RIGHT, OVER HERE.

2,000 GOING ONCE.2,000 BID, GOING TWICE.

[whistles]SOLD IT!

- [laughs]- OH, MY GOD.

WHEW!

- YEAH, WE GOT THE TIRES,BUT WE HAD TO PAY DOUBLE

WHAT WE WANTED TO.

- CAROLYN AND TIMARE NIPPING AT OUR HEELS,

AND THE SHILLAND THE AUCTIONEER TEAM,

WELL, THEY'RE PITTING USAGAINST EACH OTHER

AND MAKING ALL THE MONEY.

WE NEED A STRATEGY IF WE'REGONNA GET THIS LAST UNIT, BUDDY.

- WELL, I THINKWE'RE IN THE RIGHT PLACE,

JUDGING BY ALLTHE OFF-ROAD VEHICLES.

- HOW ARE YOU DOING, MAN?I'M TON.

- HOW ARE YOU DOING? I'M RICK.- NICE TO MEET YOU, BROTHER.

- I GOT YOUR PHONE CALL EARLIERABOUT THESE TIRES.

THEY LOOK PRETTY GOOD.

- SO YOU HAVE SOMETHINGTHIS'LL FIT ON?

- I OWN TWO MONSTER TRUCKS.WE'RE ALWAYS USING TIRES.

WE KIND OF GO THROUGH THOSETHE MOST.

YOU KNOW, THEY'RE KIND OFA DISPENSABLE PRODUCT.

- I KIND OF REMEMBERTHIS THING HAPPENING

AS A KID IN THE '80s,BUT WHO GOT THE PARTY STARTED?

- THE FIRST MONSTER TRUCKOUT THERE

WAS BOB CHANDLER'SBIGFOOT.

- THAT THING STILL AROUND?- OH, YES.

BOB ACTUALLY OWNEDAN OFF-ROAD SHOP,

AND HE BUILT THE TRUCK'CAUSE, BACK IN THE '80s,

EVERYBODY WANTED TO LIFT THEIRTRUCKS AS HIGH AS THEY COULD,

BUT WHEN IT WOULD BREAK,HE WOULD REPLACE IT

WITH A BIGGER PART,SO IT WOULDN'T BREAK.

WELL, ALL'S HE DIDWAS CHASE THE WEAK LINK

UNTIL YOU--WE CAME UPWITH WHAT YOU SEE TODAY.

- IS IT EXPENSIVETO BUILD A MONSTER TRUCK?

- ABOUT 250 GRAND.

- SO, THE ANSWER IS YES.- YES.

WHAT DO THE TIRES COST,THEN?

- YOU COULD GET THOSEBRAND-SPANKING-NEW,

DELIVERED TO MY DOOR,FOR 3,200 APIECE.

3,200 TIMES 6.

THAT'S ALMOST 20,000FOR EVERYTHING.

THAT'S NOT A SMALL NUMBER.- YOU'RE RIGHT.

BUT YOU WANT TO SHOW MESOMETHING THAT'S NEW UP THERE?

TELL YOU WHAT, WHY DON'T WEGET THESE THINGS OFF?

I WANT TO LOOK AT,MAKE SURE THE RIMS

ARE ROUNDAND HOLDING THE BEAD,

AND THEN WECAN DISCUSS PRICE.

KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING.LET 'EM GO, GO.

- HO!

- OOH, THAT'S NOT GOOD.- WHAT'S NOT GOOD?

- SEE WHERE THE TIRE'SBEEN SECTIONED?

THAT'S NEW RUBBER.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN SLICED,

AND THEY MELT THE RUBBERRIGHT INTO IT.

DANG, LOOK AT THE SUCKER!

- DON'T DO THAT!

- I'D RATHER HAVE ITBREAK NOW

THAN PAY FOR SOMETHINGTHAT I THINK IS GOOD.

- BUT I'M GETTINGKIND OF TIRED OF JUST, LIKE,

KICKING THE TIRESWITH YOU.

I WANT TO TALK MONEY.

- LET'S GETTHE OTHER TWO OUT.

WE KNOW THESE AIN'T WORTHWHAT YOU THOUGHT.

- LAST ONE, RIGHT?

WHOO!

- THESE ACTUALLY MIGHT BEA DECENT MUD TIRE.

- THOSE LOOK GOOD.

- ALL RIGHT, TIRE WHISPERER,WHAT ARE WE LOOKING AT?

- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.'CAUSE I'M SUCH A NICE GUY...

- OH, JESUS,DON'T PREFACE WITH THAT.

- I'LL GO 2 GRAND.- [laughing] OH!

WE WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN THEMOFF THE TRUCK FOR 2 GRAND.

- WHY,WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

I KNOW YOU'RE WAY TOO HIGH,BUT COME BACK TO THE REAL WORLD.

- 8 GRAND.- 8 GRAND?

WE'VE GOT TWOTHAT ARE PROBABLY JUNK.

- AND $1,000 A TIREAND $500 A RIM.

YOU CAN'T BEAT THAT.

- ABSOLUTE TOP DOLLAR,3,500.

- 5 GRAND.

- YOUR NUMBER WAS 5,000,YOUR NUMBER WAS 3,500.

WE CAN ALL DO THE MATH.4,250.

- 4 GRAND.

- FINE, BUT THE CITY BOYGETS TO DRIVE THE TRUCK.

- HE HAS TO DRIVE IT?

- I WANT HIM TO EXPERIENCETHE CARNAGE FIRSTHAND.

- IS IT DANGEROUS?- HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR BACK?

- I KNOW I LIKE 4,000 BUCKS.LET'S DO IT.

I APPRECIATE THE TRIAL BY FIREINTO THE MONSTER TRUCK WORLD,

BUT I'M PRETTY SUREI'M NOT QUALIFIED TO DRIVE

ONE OF THESE EXPENSIVE THINGS.

- BRO, YOU GOT THIS.

JUST CHECK YOUR HELMET,YOUR NECK BRACE,

YOUR FIRE SUIT,YOUR FIVE-POINT HARNESS,

YOUR FIRE EXTINGUISHER SYSTEM,

AND JUST REMEMBER,IT'S ALL IN THE WRIST.

THEY LOOKED PRETTY STUPIDSITTING IN THAT UNIT,

BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND.

TON, IT'S TALLERTHAN I IMAGINED.

IF ONE OF THESE OLD THINGSKIND OF LETS GO,

AS IT LOOKS LIKE MAYBE IT COULD,WHAT'LL HAPPEN?

- WELL, YOU'LL DOA CARTWHEEL,

AND THENWE'LL TALK TO LAWYERS

ABOUT GETTING MY PARTSFIXED AGAIN.

BUT YOU'LL BE OKAY.THERE'S A ROLL CAGE IN THERE.

- AWESOME.

- THEN GET UP THERE,STRAP IN,

AND SEE WHAT THIS THING DOES.

- YEAH, IF HILLBILLIESCAN DO IT,

HOW HARD CAN IT BE,RIGHT?

HERE WE GO!both: OH!

[engine revs]

- YEAH! WHOO!

UP WE GO, BABY!- LOOK AT THAT!

RIGHT ON, BROTHER!

[engine revs]

[crash]

- WHOO!

YEAH!

WHOO!

- OH, [bleep].- [laughs]

OH, HE'S ALL RIGHT.

- WHOO-HOO-HOO![grunts]

- WHAT IS UP, BROTHER?

- OH, MY GOD!- NICE!

- FROM HERE,IT WAS A LOT OF FUN.

NOISY AS HECK, AND THOSE HILLSWERE JUST ASKING FOR IT.

- [laughs]

TIRES LOOK LIKE THEY WORK.THEY STILL HAVE AIR IN 'EM.

- THEY CAN TAKE A PUNCH, HUH?- I THINK WE'VE GOT A DEAL.

- OH, YEAH?THANK YOU, RICK.

I UNDERSTAND YOU NOW!

- [laughs]- WELCOME TO THE CLUB.

- WE SOLD THE BUNDLES OF CLOTHESFOR $1,200.

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