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No One's Bitch

Gus helps a mother wanting to leave her bad-ass days behind, Jasmine’s client is ready to grow up and stop being a baby, and Tommy takes a stab at the ink that's been haunting his client for 13 years.

- SO YOU GOTTA TELL MEHOW YOU GOT THIS "BABY BOY."

- WELL, AS A TEEN,

MY MOM GOT ME MY FIRST SETOF TURNTABLES,

AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW,

I'M DJing ALL AROUND TOWN.

- WAIT A MINUTE.HOW YOUNG WERE YOU?

- I WAS ABOUT TO TURN 16.

PEOPLE STARTED CALLING MEDJ BABY BOY.

I LOVED THE NAME.

[all cheering]

- WHEN IS NAP TIME?

THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW!

- YEAH, EVERY YEAR PANAMA CITYHAS AN ANNUAL BIKE WEEK,

AND I ACTUALLY GOTA GIG PLAYING

IN FRONTOF A BUNCH OF BIKERS.

AND THEY CAME UP TO ME

AND ACTUALLY COMPLIMENTED MEON MY SKILLS.

THEY'RE LIKE, "YOU'RE COMINGTO A PARTY WITH US AFTER THIS."

AND THEY DROVE METO THIS RICKETY TRAILER

IN THE BACKWOODS OUTIN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

- [laughs]- THIS IS PRETTY ISOLATED.

- THEN THIS 350-POUND BIKERWALKS OUT,

AND WHEN HE OPENED HIS MOUTH,HE SOUNDED LIKE

A HIGH-PITCHEDCARTOON CHARACTER.

- [high-pitched] I'M GONNAGIVE YOU A TATTOO RIGHT NOW.

- I DIDN'T WANT A TATTOO,

AND EVEN AT THAT,I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO GET.

THE ONLY THINGTHAT I COULD THINK TO GET

WAS MY DJ NAME.

I TRIED MY HARDEST NOT TO CRYIN FRONT OF ALL THESE BIKERS.

- AAH!

- AND NEXT THING I KNOW,

I WAS PROJECTILE-VOMITING

ALL OVER THE PLACE.- OH, MY GOD.

- [retching][all coughing]

- I WAS SO THANKFULWHEN IT WAS OVER.

- I CAN IMAGINE.

- A FEW YEARS LATER,I ACTUALLY JOINED

THE COAST GUARD.

SO ON THE FIRST DAY OF TRAINING,

THEY ALL LINED USUP IN OUR UNDERWEAR.

- HERE AT THE COAST GUARD,

WE DO THINGSA LITTLE DIFFERENTLY!

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?[laughter]

- "WHAT IS THIS?ARE YOU A BABY BOY?

I'MA MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU."

- 508.

COME ON, BABY BOY![all laugh]

ARE YOU GIVING UP ON ME,BABY BOY?

- I WAS THE GUYTHAT WAS ALWAYS PICKED ON.

- YOU'VE GOT TO BESO TIRED OF THAT.

I'M SURE YOU WERE TIRED OF THATFROM THE NIGHT YOU GOT IT.

I WILL RETIRE DJ BABY BOYFOR YOU.

- LET ME HEAR THIS STORY, MAN.

- I GOT A JOB AS A DJIN A STRIP CLUB.

- OKAY.- I MET THIS DANCER.

AND WE KIND OF JUST FELLIN LOVE INSTANTLY.

- THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKINGABOUT RIGHT THERE.

- OH, SO YOU REALLY DID FALLIN LOVE WITH A STRIPPER.

- OH, I FELL IN LOVEWITH A STRIPPER.

AFTER ABOUT A YEAR OR SO,

SHE STARTED GETTING KINDOF WEIRD, KIND OF POSSESSIVE.

SHE STARTS TALKINGABOUT, YOU KNOW,

GETTING MARRIEDAND LOOKING AT RINGS.

- HOW ROMANTIC WOULD IT BE

IF YOU WERE PAYINGFOR EVERYTHING?

- GIRL, YOU ARE TRIPPING.DO YOU SEE WHERE WE'RE AT?

- I WASN'T EVEN READYTO GO THERE.

- IF YOU LOVE ME, THEN YOU'LLAT LEAST GET MATCHING TATTOOS.

IT'LL SYMBOLIZE OUR LOVE.

- SO MY GIRLFRIEND DECIDEDTO PICK OUT A JAPANESE SYMBOL

THAT REPRESENTEDOUR ETERNAL CONNECTION

AND THE BONDTHAT WE'RE GONNA HAVE

FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

- AAH! I CAN'T BELIEVEI'M DOING THIS!

[groans]- IT'S HOT IN HERE.

- 25 MINUTES IN,WE'RE FINALLY DONE.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'VE DECIDED I'M NOTGETTING A TATTOO.

- WHAT?- I'M NOT GETTING TATTOOED.

SO SUCK IT.- NO!

- THERE'S NO WAY IN HELLTHAT I WAS STAYING WITH HER.

THAT WAS IT.I WAS DONE.

- I STILL LOVE YOU, THOUGH.

- SO THREE MONTHS LATER,I'M SHOPPING.

SHE KNOCKED ON THE GLASSOF THE STORE THAT I WAS IN...

- OH, GOD.- AND SHE JUST WAVES.

LIKE, PSYCHO WAVE."HEY!"

LIKE, I HAVEN'T EVEN TALKEDTO HER FOR MONTHS.

SO I'M INSTANTLY NERVOUS.YOU JUST--

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THATGUT FEELING THAT SOMETHING'S--

- ABOUT TO GET REAL.

- IT'S ABOUT TO GET REAL REAL.

- SURPRISE!

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- HI, TY.

- AND I STARTED WALKING AWAY.

NEXT THING YOU KNOW,SHE STARTS TO GIGGLE,

AND SHE PULLS OUTA BOX CUTTER.

- HOLY--

- [shrieking]- AND SHE JUST COMES AT ME.

- YOU LEFT ME BECAUSE I DON'TWANT TO GET A STUPID TATTOO!

- [screaming]- [laughing maniacally]

- SHE LITERALLY JUST RUNS OFF.

- DUDE, WITH A BOX CUTTER?

- I END UP GOINGTO THE HOSPITAL.

I GET 160 STITCHES.

I GOT THE SCARS.- OH!

- YEAH, AND IT GOESALL THE WAY UP HERE.

- HOLY SH--

- IT MAKES MY HEART, YOU KNOW,SKIP A BEAT A LITTLE BIT

BECAUSE SHE ESCAPEDTHE SCENE OF THE CRIME.

- NOW I GET WHY THISIS HAUNTING YOU, DUDE,

BECAUSE SHE'S STILL WALKINGAROUND OUT THERE.

- SCARIEST THINGTHAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

- YO, THIS IS CRAZY, DUDE.

- TELL ME ABOUT IT.

- ALL RIGHT, I'M FINISHED.

YOU OKAY?

- OH, MY GOD,THANK YOU, LORD.

JASMINE JUST FINISHED,AND I'M ECSTATIC

BECAUSE I NEVER WANTEDTHIS TATTOO TO BEGIN WITH.

I FEEL LIKE IT'S NOT ALLOWING METO MOVE UP

PROPERLY IN MY POSITIONIN THE COAST GUARD.

SO I WANT TO SEETHIS NEW TATTOO RIGHT NOW.

- I'M GONNA MOVE OUTOF YOUR WAY. ALL RIGHT?

- ALL RIGHT.

- TURN AROUND.

CAN YOU SEE IT?

- OH, MY GOD.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

JASMINE, I THINK YOU HIT ITRIGHT ON THE HEAD.

IT'S AMAZING.

FIRST THING THAT POPS OUTAT ME IS THE DETAIL.

THE LITTLE INTRICATE COLORSIN THE OCTOPUS

WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.

"BABY BOY" IS GONE.

I GOTTA GIVE YOU A HUG.- [laughs]

- I GOT TO GIVE YOU A HUG,NO SHIRT AND ALL.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.- THANK YOU.

TO MAKE THIS COVER-UP WORK,I HAD TO MAKE SURE

I BROKE UP THOSE BUBBLE LETTERSWITH THE TENTACLES,

AND WHATEVER I DIDN'T CATCHWITH THE TENTACLES,

THE BACKGROUND CAUGHT IT.

ALL RIGHT, SWEETHEART,HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

- ALL RIGHT.- AND GET HOME SAFE.

- TWO FINGERS, I'M OUT.

- [laughs]ALL RIGHT.

- ALL RIGHT, KID.YOU'RE DONE, DUDE.

- THANK YOU, JESUS.

HA!- WOW.

- I KNOW TOMMY'S NOT REALLYFAMILIAR WITH DOING DARKER SKIN,

AND I'M NERVOUSTO SEE WHAT HE DID.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOWWHAT'S ON MY NECK RIGHT NOW.

- YOU READY TO SEE THIS?- I'M READY.

- ALL RIGHT, KID.

I'LL MOVE TO THE SIDE,AND YOU CAN CHECK IT OUT.

- FREAKIN' AWESOME.

- YOU'RE PSYCHED?- I'M SORRY, IT'S--

- NO, IT'S ALL GOOD, TY.HOW YOU FEELING, KID?

- I LOVE IT.I LOVE IT.

I CAN'T EVEN SAYHOW MUCH I LOVE IT.

I'M JUST--AND I THANK YOU.

- ABSOLUTELY, DUDE.

YOU HAD TO GET RIDOF THAT THING, KID.

- THAT CAT SMILING IS ME.

THE COLOR JUST TOOK THE TATTOOTO THE NEXT LEVEL

AND IT WENT BEYONDANY EXPECTATIONS

I COULD EVER THINK OF.

I LOVE IT.

- CAN I SEE?- YEAH.

- WHOA, THAT LOOKS NICE, TOMMY.

- IF I DIDN'T APPROACH ITTHE WAY YOU HAD SAID

WHERE YOU TURNED OFFTHE TIP OF THE NEEDLE,

I DON'T THINK HE WOULD HAVESAT THROUGH IT.

I DON'T THINKI COULD HAVE COLORED IT.

IT WOULD HAVE BEENA LOT WORSE.

I HAD TO MAKE SURE THATTHAT SYMBOL SITS

IN THE EYE SOCKETOF THE CHESHIRE CAT.

I ALSO STRATEGICALLYPLACED THE FACE

BELOW THE CREASE IN HIS NECK.

THIS WAY, WHEN HE MOVESHIS NECK,

IT DOESN'T DISTORTTHE CAT'S FACE.

AND BECAUSE IT SITS OVERTHAT TRIBAL PIECE,

IT'S ACTUALLY STARTINGTO BRING

ALL OF HIS COLLECTIONTOGETHER AS ONE.

- HOW DO YOU FEEL?

THAT THING IS BADASS.

- I LOVE IT.I LOVE IT.

NOW I CAN MOVE FORWARDWITH MY LIFE.

I CAN SLEEP.

I'M FREE!AND IT'S A WONDERFUL THING.

YES!WHOO!

TATTOO NIGHTMARES |THANK YOU!

- MY FAVORITE PARTABOUT YOUR TATTOOS

IS YOU CAN TELLYOU DID IT.

LIKE, THEY TOTALLY HAVEA TOMMY HELM STYLE.

- THOSE POOR PEOPLE.

[both laughing]

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