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Cure for the Common Death Pt. II

A low rider gets crushed; nunchucks take out a dummy; Big Foot gets the boot; a case of spy vs die.

[monitor beeping]

THEY SAY THATJUST BEFORE YOU DIE,

YOUR WHOLE LIFE FLASHESBEFORE YOUR EYES.

[flatline tone]

ANATOLI SPENT THE LAST SECONDSOF HIS LIFE

TRYING TO FIGURE OUTTHE LAST MONTH.

[siren]

THAT'S BECAUSEFOUR WEEKS EARLIER,

HE WAS A PERFECTLY HEALTHYRUSSIAN INTELLIGENCE AGENT.

[camera shutter snapping]

BUT ANATOLI LEDA DOUBLE-DEALING DOUBLE LIFE.

HE WAS ACTUALLY A TRAITOR

WHO SOLD RUSSIAN SECRETSTO THE UNITED STATES.

- A SPY BECOMES A SPYEITHER FOR MONEY

OR BECAUSETHEY'RE NOT SATISFIED

WITH THE JOBTHEIR GOVERNMENT IS DOING.

SO THEY DECIDETO FEED INFORMATION

TO THE OPPOSITION

IN HOPES OFOVERTHROWING THE GOVERNMENT

THAT'S RUNNINGTHEIR COUNTRY.

[camera shutter snapping]

announcer: ANATOLIDIDN'T REALIZE IT,

BUT HIS OLD EMPLOYERSHAD BEEN ON TO HIM.

NOW THEY HADTHE PROOF THEY NEEDED

TO TERMINATE HIS POSITIONPERMANENTLY.

THE FIRST RULE OF ESPIONAGE

IS NEVER BE A CREATUREOF HABIT,

AND THAT WASANATOLI'S FATAL FLAW.

HE STOPPED FOR COFFEEAT THE SAME STAND EVERY DAY.

- COFFEE, BLACK,TWO SUGARS.

announcer: TODAY'S BLENDFEATURED A LETHAL DOSE

OF POLONIUM-210,

A RADIOACTIVE ISOTOPE

250,000 TIMES MORE TOXIC

THAN CYANIDE.

- POLONIUM-210 ISA DANGEROUS RADIATION POISON.

IT TAKES SEVERAL DAYSFOR SOMEONE TO DIE,

WHICH ALLOWS THE PERSONWHO ADMINISTERS IT

TO GET AWAY.

announcer:A WEEK LATER,

ANATOLI WAS IN THE HOSPITALFOR ACUTE RADIATION POISONING.

21 DAYS AFTER THAT,HE TOOK HIS LAST BREATH.

- [inhales deeply]

announcer: AND DIED.

[flatline tone]

- POLONIUM-210IS AN ALPHA EMITTER.

THE ALPHAS,AT THESE ENERGIES,

THEY CAN ATTACK KIDNEYS,

THEY CAN DESTROY CELLS.

IT CAN DESTROYTHE BONE MARROW.

SO IT'S A MULTIPLE ORGAN FAILURETYPE OF SITUATION.

announcer:WHEN A SPY GOES BAD,

BAD THINGS HAPPEN.

FOR ANATOLI...

- COFFEE BLACK,TWO SUGARS.

announcer: HE GOT LIT UPAND THEN WENT LIGHTS OUT.

DASVIDANIYA, COMRADE.

[echoing]COMRADE.

announcer: THIS PRETTY GIRLIN A BIKINI IS DYING,

AND NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE.

- [coughs]

announcer: BUT THE THINGABOUT IT IS,

IT'S HER OWN DAMN FAULT.

SHIRLEY WAS PART OF A GROUPOF AMERICAN STUDENTS

ON A TOUR OF AUSTRALIA.

BY THE TIME THEY HITTHE BEACH PART OF THE TRIP,

THEY WERE ALL SICK OF SHIRLEYAND HER MORONIC BEHAVIOR.

MAYBE SHE WAS ACTING OUT

FROM BEING SHUNNEDEARLIER IN HER LIFE

WHEN SHE WAS A PIMPLE-FACED,STUTTERING DORK.

SHE WOULD CUT INON OTHER GIRLS' GUYS

AND HAD HER OWN VERSIONOF "CRY WOLF."

- SHARK!SHARK!

SHARK! SHARK!

I'M JUST KIDDING.JUST KIDDING.

announcer:THEN SHE TOOK A DIP

AND ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED

AN IRUKANDJI JELLYFISH.

- [coughing]

- THE IRUKANDJI JELLYFISH,

THAT'S AN IMPRESSIVELITTLE BEAST.

THE TOXIN IS BASICALLYNEUROTOXIN.

THAT MEANS IT AFFECTSTHE NERVOUS SYSTEM

OR THE NERVES.

THEREFORE,PAIN IS INCREDIBLE.

IT'S JUST, ZAP.

announcer: BY THE TIME SHIRLEYSTAGGERED BACK UP ON LAND,

SHE WAS GOING DOWNIN THE LAND DOWN UNDER.

- [coughing]

- WHAT'S GOING ONOVER THERE?

[speaks indistinctly]

- WHEN THE YOUNG LADYSWALLOWED THE JELLYFISH,

IT WOULD HAVE INSTANTLYSTUNG HER IN THE THROAT

ALL THE WAY DOWNTO THE STOMACH.

UM, WHAT WOULD HAVEHAPPENED, OF COURSE,

EVERYTHING WOULD HAVESTARTED SWELLING.

THAT WOULD HAVE FILLED HER LUNGSUP WITH FLUID,

HER THROAT WOULD HAVESWELLED UP,

AND SHE WOULD HAVE CROAKED,

LIKE, WITHIN10 TO 15 MINUTES.

announcer: INSTEAD OFBEING OBNOXIOUS AND SCREAMING...

- SHARK! SHARK!SHARK!

announcer: SHIRLEY SHOULD HAVEKEPT HER BIG MOUTH SHUT.

- [coughs]

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