Please sign in with your TV Provider to unlock this episode.
No TV Provider? No worries.
Watch clips from this episode

Death Penalties

A wedding singer kills the mood; a French maiden meets the iron maiden; a TV star gets cancelled.

PEOPLE WILL PAY FORTHE STRANGEST THINGS.

- GOOD THINGYOU BROUGHT THE MONEY.

LET'S GO.

WHO'S YOUR MOMMY?

- YOU'RE MY MOM.- SAY IT, MEAN IT.

- YOU'RE MY MOM.

- THIS WIMPY FREAK SPENDSA GOOD PART OF HIS PAYCHECK

TO BE MANHANDLEDBY MUSCLE-BOUND WOMEN.

- MOMMY!- SHE'S NOT HERE.

- IT'S A FETISH CALLEDCRATOLAGNIA.

- MOMMY![groans]

- SHE-MAN LYDIAPUMPED UP HER BODY

AND BUILT UPA LUCRATIVE BUSINESS

BY BRINGING A BUNCH OFMOMMY'S BOYS

TO ORGASMIC BLISS.

- YOU'RE A GREEK GODDESS.

AAH!

- LYDIA TOOK GREAT PLEASURE

HUMILIATING HER GIRLY-MANCLIENTELE.

- OH...OH!

- CRATOLAGNIA IS WHEN SOMEONE'SSEXUALLY AROUSED

BY THE DISPLAY OF STRENGTH

AND HAVE A NEED TO FEELOVERPOWERED BY A FEMALE.

THE MORE TYPICAL KIND OF GUYIS A SMALLER GUY.

THEY LOVE MUSCULARITY,THE LOOK OF IT, THE FEEL OF IT.

DO YOU WANT ME TO POSE?

- COME IN.- LYDIA'S BEST CUSTOMER

WAS A FREAK NAMED HANK...

- IS THIS WHATYOU WANNA SEE?

- OH, DEFINITELY!

- I'LL SQUISH THIS RIGHTBETWEEN MY THUNDER THIGHS.

- WHO PAID EXTRA FOR HIS GODDESSTO DRESS UP

A PERFORM DISTURBING ACTSWITH FRUIT.

- YOU READY FOR THIS?

[grunting]

- HANK WAS GETTINGALL HOT AND BOTHERED

WATCHING LYDIA'S THUNDER THIGHS

SQUEEZE THE LIFEOUT OF A WATERMELON.

[Lydia coughing]

BUT THEN MYSTERIOUSLY...

- ARE YOU OKAY?

- THE LIFE WAS SQUEEZEDOUT OF LYDIA.

- OH, GOD, OH, GOD!

[panting]

- A DAY OF WORKING OVER WIMPS

CAN TAKE A TOLLON A WORKING GIRL.

BEFORE HANK SHOWED UP,

LYDIA TOOK A RELAXING BATH.

TO HELP UNWIND,SHE POPPED SOME MUSCLE RELAXERS

AND DRANK SOME WINE.

SHE GOT A LITTLE TOO RELAXED

AND PASSED OUT LONG ENOUGHTO BREATHE IN

A BIG LUNGFUL OF WATER.

[Lydia coughingÑ

WHAT HAPPENED TO HER NEXT

IS A CONDITIONKNOWN AS DRY DROWNING.

- OUR SUBJECT WAS BATHINGIN SOAPY BATHWATER

AND LITERALLY INHALEDAND CHOKED.

SHE DID NOT DIE SUDDENLY.

THIS IRRITANT IN THE LUNG

CONTINUED TO CAUSEINFLAMMATION OF THE ALEVOLI,

CAUSING FURTHER FLUIDFROM INSIDE OF THE BODY

TO FLOOD THE ALEVOLI.

SO SHE LITERALLY DROWNEDON HER OWN SECRETIONS.

narrator: THE BURLYAND NOT VERY GIRLY LYDIA

GOT PAID OFF BY MAKINGWIMPY MEN GET OFF.

- WHO'S YOUR MOMMY?

- WHEN SHE STUPIDLY MIXEDDRUGS AND ALCOHOL,

LYDIA STARTED FLAPPINGLIKE A BEACHED WHALE...

- [wheezing and gasping]

- AND DROWNED ON DRY LAND.

- OH, GOD, OH, GOD!

- [speaking Japanese]

narrator:HITO WAS A MASTER

JAPANESE TEPPANYAKI CHEF

AND OWNER OF BUDDHA-HA-HA.

AOKI WAS A LOWLY BUSBOY

WHO DREAMED OF ONE DAYTAKING OVER FOR CHEF HITO.

- TEPPANYAKI IS A STYLEOF JAPANESE CUISINE

THAT USES AN IRON GRIDDLE.

TEPPAN MEANS IRON PLATE,AND YAKI MEANS GRILLED FOOD.

I APPRENTICEDUNDER A MASTER CHEF.

YOU MUST HAVE THE UTMOST RESPECTFOR THE KNIVES,

AND THE TEPPAN TABLEIS A CONSTANT THREAT.

TEMPERATURES CAN GOTO 500 DEGREES.

narrator:CHEF HITO WOULD END EACH NIGHT

BY STORING HIS PRECIOUS KNIVESUNDER LOCK AND KEY.

ONE NIGHT,AFTER CHEF HITO WENT HOME,

AOKI DECIDEDTO BUST OUT THE KNIVES

AND PUT THEM THROUGHA WORKOUT.

IN HIS MIND,AOKI ALREADY WAS A MASTER CHEF.

- CHEF AOKI, MASTER.

- WORK IT, WORK IT!WHOO!

[applause]

- CAUGHT UPIN HIS OWN FANTASY,

AOKI PUSHED IT TOO FAR.

- NAGASAKI KNIFE THROW.

- HE THREW THE BLADE UPTOO HIGH...

AND WAS LUCKY TO CATCH IT.- TA DA!

- OH!OH...OH...

AAH!

AAH!

- NOT THAT LUCKY.

[gong]

WHEN THE KNIFE WENT UP,

IT MANAGED TO SLICE CLEANTHROUGH A SUPPORT ROPE.

INSTANT KARMA IN THE FORMOF A GIANT BUDDHA HEAD

KNOCKED THE POSER CHEF OUT.

TEN MINUTES LATER,A NEW DISH WAS CREATED--

GRILLED AOKI.

- DEATH OCCURREDBY OVERHEATING.

HE WAS LITERALLYCOOKED TO DEATH.

INTERNAL TEMPERATURESROSE DRAMATICALLY.

WHAT TRANSPIRED IS CARDIACAND PULMONARY DYSFUNCTION,

POSSIBLE SEIZURE ACTIVITY,

CESSATION OF NEUROLOGICFUNCTION,

AND UNTIMELY DEATH.

narrator: AOKI WANTEDTO BE A MASTER CHEF

BUT WITHOUT ALL THE TRAINING.

HEY, AOKI...- OH! OH...

- IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT...

DON'T GET KNOCKED OUTBY A GIANT BUDDHA

AND FRY YOUR FACE OFF...

YA DUMMY.

Loading...