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Young, Dumb and Full of Death

A salesman sells out; a coke head gets nosed out; a peeper gets hammered; corporate trainer takes a fall.

- EVERYBODY ON YOUR FEET!

male announcer: DO YOU HAVEA MORBID SENSE OF HUMOR?

- WHY ARE YOUR PANTS UNDONE?

announcer: DO YOU ENJOYLAUGHING AT OTHERS' EXPENSE?

- AAH!

announcer: THEN YOU'LL LOVETHIS SHOW.

- HALLELUJAH! AMEN!

announcer:WE'VE GOT A PHONY PREACHER

WHO GETS HIS PLUG PULLED.

- OH!

announcer:THERE'S A SKATEBOARDER

WHO CEMENTS HIS LEGEND.

A D-LIST CELEBRITYWHO GETS F'D UP.

A GUY IN A SUMO SUITGOES ON A ROLL.

- AAH!

announcer: AN IGNORAMUSEATS SOME GREENS

AND BUYS THE FARM.

A VIDEO PEEPERTAKES A KILLER SHOT.

AND A TV HUCKSTERGETS STUCK ON CAMERA.

- AAH! AAH!

announcer: STICK IT ALLIN THE BLACK HOLE OF YOUR SOUL

AND SMOKE IT DOWN.

- YOU DIE JUST LIKE THAT.

announcer: IT'S THE NEXT EPISODEOF 1000 WAYS TO DIE.

[rock music]

DEATH IS EVERYWHERE.

MOST OF USTRY TO AVOID IT.

OTHERS CAN'T GETOUT OF ITS WAY.

[horn blares, tires screech]

EVERY DAY, WE FIGHTA NEW WAR AGAINST GERMS,

TOXINS,

INJURY,

ILLNESS,

AND CATASTROPHE.[siren wails]

THERE'S A LOT OF WAYSTO WIND UP DEAD.

THE FACT THAT WE SURVIVEAT ALL IS A MIRACLE.

BECAUSE EVERY DAY WE LIVE,

WE FACE...

DO YOU LIKE TO WATCHALL THE HOME SHOPPING CHANNELS?

[cheerful music]

WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEETTHE KLUTZIEST,

MOST ACCIDENT-PRONE SALESMANIN ALL OF TELEVISION?

- THIS IS INSANELY USEFUL.

THIS'LL FIT RIGHT--

announcer: THAT'S HIM.

IF CHET WAS ALONEIN A PADDED ROOM,

HE'D FIND A WAYTO HURT HIMSELF.

- HA HA!

- THAT IS SHARP!

- IT'S A FULLY FUNCTIONAL

DIFFERENT COMPONENTSYSTEM LADDER.

announcer: A FOLDING LADDERSEEMS LIKE A PRETTY USEFUL THING

TO HAVE AROUND THE HOUSE.

- AND IT'S GONNA BE STURDY.

YOU GUYS CAN REALLY SEE.

announcer:IN CHET'S NO-SO-HANDY HANDS,

THAT LADDER WASONLY A COUPLE OF STEPS

FROM THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

- AAH!- OH! OH!

- ARE YOU OKAY?

OW! OH!

- I'VE SEEN PLENTY OF ACCIDENTSON SET OVER MY YEARS.

SOME OF THE MOST COMMON OF THEMARE JUST LIGHTS BLOWING OUT

WHILE YOU'RE TALKINGON NATIONAL TV,

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,BANG, THE LIGHT BLOWS OUT

AND YOU'VE GOT GLASSFLYING AT YOU.

I'VE HAD PICTURESFALL OFF THE WALL BEHIND ME

WHILE I'M ON TV,

PEOPLE GETTING CUTWITH KNIVES.

THERE'S LOTS OF GREAT STUFFTHAT HAPPENS.

- WE HAVE AUTHENTIC,TRADITIONAL SAMURAI SWORDS.

announcer: KNOWINGWHAT YOU NOW KNOW ABOUT CHET,

HOW DO YOU THINK HE DIDWITH A SAMURAI SWORD?

- THAT ONE LOOKS EXTRA SHARP.

- IT REALLY IS.

- AAH! AAH!

- CHET, ARE YOU OKAY?

THAT LOOKS PAINFUL.

- OH, THAT ONE GOT ME.- THAT'S GOTTA HURT.

announcer: A COUPLE DAYSIN THE HOSPITAL BED...

- AAH!

announcer: AND CHET WASBACK IN THE STUDIO,

SMILING AND SELLING.

- THIS IS ONEOF THE MOST FUN PRODUCTS

THAT WE'VEEVER HAD TO SELL RIGHT NOW.

announcer: HIS NEWEST PRODUCTSEEMED INJURY-PROOF.

- THIS IS CALLEDA WONDER ONESIE.

THIS IS GONNAREPLACE YOUR PAJAMAS.

THIS IS GONNA REPLACEYOUR SLEEPWEAR, YOUR NIGHTGOWN.

announcer: IT WOULD TAKEA WORLD-CLASS KLUTZ,

A MASTER OF MISHAP

TO HURT YOURSELF WITH A PAIROF GIANT FLANNEL PAJAMAS.

- BUT THERE'S A LITTLE TRAP DOORBACK HERE,

SO YOU NEVER HAVETO GET OUT OF THIS THING.

- MAKES IT CONVENIENT.

announcer: BUT OUR BOY CHETALWAYS ROSE TO THE CHALLENGE.

- IF YOU ORDER RIGHT NOW,

YOU'RE GONNA GET ALLTHESE AROMA THERAPY CANDLES.

OH! AH, GOD.

- OH, MY GOD!

announcer: BAD TO WORSEWAS CHET'S MIDDLE NAME.

AFTER THE BRAIN DEADSTAGEHAND

HAD NO LUCK WITHA BROKEN WATER EXTINGUISHER...

- AAH!

announcer: CHET WENT UPIN FLAMES...

- OH!- CHET!

announcer: AND CAME DOWNBURNT TO A CRISP.

- WHEN THIS PERSONCAUGHT FIRE,

THE SKIN STARTSPEELING AWAY,

THE HAIR FOLLICLESSTART BURNING AWAY,

INTERNAL ORGANSSTARTED FAILING,

AND THE PAIN,SHOCK, DEHYDRATION

ALL COMBINED INTO CAUSINGA PAINFUL DEATH.

- IT'S GONNA BE STURDY.

announcer: CHET WASA NICE ENOUGH GUY.

- OHH!

announcer: BUT HE WASHIS OWN WORST ENEMY.

- AAH!- OH!

- OH, THAT ONE GOT ME.

announcer: IN THE END, THE ONLYTHING CHET HAD TO FEAR...

- OH! OH!

- OH, MY GOD!

announcer: WAS FEAR HIMSELF.

- HELLO!

HI!

announcer: HILLARY BECAMEA MINOR CELEBRITY

AFTER BEING VOTED OFFA NOW-FORGOTTEN REALITY TV SHOW.

- HEY! IS THIS A PARTY?

- WHOO! WHOO!

announcer:HER 15 MINUTES ARE OVER,

BUT SHE KEEPS CHASINGTHE SPOTLIGHT.

- OH, YOU GOT THE PARTY.

announcer: LATELY,SHE'S HIRED A BODYGUARD

AND SURROUNDS HERSELFWITH A BUNCH OF SUCK-UPS

WHO BELIEVE IT WHENSHE TELLS THEM SHE'S FAMOUS.

- I GOT ONE FOR YOUAND ONE FOR ME.

announcer:TO COMPLETE THE PICTURE,

SHE SNORTS MORE COCAINETHAN A COLOMBIAN DRUG LORD.

- I HAVE THIS!

announcer: SHE EVEN HADHER OWN PLATINUM COKE STRAW.

- [snorting]

AH! HA HA!

HOO!

- WHEN YOU HAVE MONEYAND DRUGS

AND SEX WITH BEAUTIFUL PEOPLEPUT IN FRONT OF YOU,

IT'S HARD TO SAY NO,

AND WHEN IT GETS TO THAT POINTWHERE NOBODY SAYS NO,

THAT'S WHEN THINGSBECOME A PROBLEM.

THEY KEEP SPIRALINGAND SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL.

- THERE YOU GO.

announcer:THE FORMER REALITY CASTOFF

HAD COMPLETELY LOST TOUCHWITH REALITY.

- [laughing]

announcer: SHE DID ANYTHING...

- WHAT ARE YOU DOINGWITH MY BOYFRIEND?

announcer:AND ANYONE SHE PLEASED.

- WHY ARE YOUR PANTS UNDONE?

- WE'RE DONE HERE.KEVIN!

KEVIN, GET RID OF THIS THINGTHAT'S IN MY FACE.

- LET'S GO.

- SEE YA! BYE!

THAT'S HILARIOUS.

[snorting]AH HA!

announcer: HILLARY WAS GOODAT PRETENDING TO BE A STAR.

WHEN ONE OF THE PARTY LOSERSTOOK HER PICTURE,

SHE REACTED AS IF IT WASA PAPARAZZI ATTACK.

- OH, MY!- YOU'RE HOOKIN' ME UP!

announcer:AND LIKE A TRUE STAR,

SHE CALLED IN HER MUSCLE.

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

KEVIN, CAN YOU TAKECARE OF THIS, PLEASE?

- GIMME THE CAMERA, BOY!

- HEY, GET OFF ME, MAN!

[straw squishes]

- OH, MY GOD!

announcer:THE SIX-INCH METAL TUBE

TRAVELED UP HER NOSTRIL,

BLEW THROUGH HER SEPTUM,

AND LODGEDIN HER FRONTAL LOBE.

- THE STRAW,LIKE A SWORD,

PUNCTURED THROUGHTHAT THIN, BONY WALL,

OF THE POSTERIORNASAL PASSAGE,

PENETRATINGINTO THE BRAINSTEM,

CAUSING IMMEDIATE HEMORRHAGE

AND DAMAGE TO THE CENTRAL AREAOF OUR BRAINSTEM

THAT CONTROLSOUR HEART AND OUR LUNGS,

AND SHE DIEDALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY.

- HEY! IS THIS A PARTY?

announcer: SOMEONE ONCE SAIDFAME IS FLEETING...

- I HAVE THIS!

announcer:BUT STUPIDITY ETERNAL.

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

KEVIN!

- OH, MY GOD!

announcer: ENOUGH SAID.

- CALL 911!

- YOU ARE HEALED!

announcer: COMING UP,A PREACHER MEETS HIS MAKER.

- OH! AAH!

announcer: AND A PEEPERGETS HAMMERED.

- COME ON!WE'RE GONNA HEAL THIS MAN!

GIVE HIM A HAND UP HERE.

announcer: PERRY WAS A FIREAND BRIMSTONE FAITH HEALER,

BUT THE ONLY FAITHTHIS FRAUD HAD...

- DO YOU FEEL IT?

announcer: WAS THAT THE FOOLSSEEKING SALVATION...

- OH, YOU ARE HEALED!

announcer:WOULD ALWAYS COUGH UP GOOD CASH

FOR HIS PHONY THEATRICS.

- THIS MAN CAN WALK!

HE'S GIVEN MONEY!LOOK AT HIM!

- IT'S A MIRACLE!A MIRACLE!

- HEY, YOU KNOW, YOU NEEDTO WORK ON YOUR TIMING, SON.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

- BROTHER PERRYAND HIS WIFE CAMMIE

DID EVERYTHING THEY COULDTO MAXIMIZE PROFITS.

- 40? I WANT 50!

- WELL, WORK ON THAT TIMING.

WE'LL MAKE IT 60NEXT TIME.

YOU BE GOOD NOW, YOU HEAR?

- PLEASURE DOIN' BUSINESSWITH YOU, YOU OLD COOT.

- [laughing]

EVERYBODY ON YOUR FEET!

announcer: BACK IN THE TENTFOR A SECOND SERVICE,

PERRY CLIMBEDIN THE BAPTISMAL TUB,

READY TO SOAKTHE BORN AGAIN CROWD

OF EVERY LAST CENT.

- OH, IT FEELS GOOD!

HALLELUJAH!

[electricity crackling]AH! OH!

OH! AAH!

- WHAT IS IT, BABY?

- AH![cheering]

- OH!

- [gasps] OH!

announcer: THERE'LL BENO RESURRECTING THIS CON ARTIST.

BEFORE THE SERVICE STARTED...

[amplifier humming]

- DARLIN',YOU HEAR THAT, HUH?

announcer: PERRY NOTICEDAN ANNOYING HUM

COMINGOUT OF THE P.A. SYSTEM.

[feedback squeals]

announcer:HE FIXED IT BY CUTTING OFF

THE GROUND CONNECTORON THE PLUG.

- I GOT IT.

announcer: WHEN HE STEPPEDINTO THE TUB

AND PICKED UPTHE MICROPHONE,

110 VOLTSOF GOD'S RIGHTEOUS POWER

RACED THROUGHHIS UNHOLY FLESH,

STOPPED HIS HEART,

AND SENT HIS SOULSTRAIGHT TO HELL.

- WHEN THIS MANGETS ELECTROCUTED,

THE HEART WAS STIMULATEDINTO QUIVERING

OR VENTRICULAR FIBRILLATION.

HIS HEART SHUT DOWN,HIS LUNGS SHUT DOWN,

HE WASN'T GETTING OXYGENAND BLOOD TO CRITICAL ORGANS,

AND HE DIEDA RAPID, SUDDEN DEATH.

- OH, YOU ARE HEALED!

announcer:PERRY PROMISED SALVATION,

BUT SOLD HIS FOLLOWERSA FALSE BILL OF GOODS.

- WHOA!

announcer: BUT IN THE END,

HE FINALLY SAW THE LIGHT.

- [crying]OH, NO, PERRY!

announcer: ANYONE OUT THEREHAVE TEENAGE DAUGHTERS?

DO YOU EVER WONDER WHO'SWATCHING THEM WHEN YOU'RE NOT?

MEET CHESTER,

OTHERWISE KNOWNAS YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.

HE'S THE NEW JANITORAT SIMI VALLEY PREP.

CHESTER HATESBEING A JANITOR,

BUT HE LOVES TEENAGE GIRLS,

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY PLAYFIELD HOCKEY.

A PICTURE IS WORTHA THOUSAND WORDS.

A VIDEO, A COUPLEOF BOXES OF TISSUES.

CHESTER WAS FOCUSEDON GETTING THE SHOT,

UNTIL...

HE TOOK A SHOT,

RIGHT TO THE HEAD.

CHESTER WAS SO ENGROSSED

WITH THE CUTE AND SASSYFIELD HOCKEY PLAYERS,

HE DIDN'T NOTICE THE BIGAND BURLY TRACK AND FIELDERS.

THEY WERE HAMMER THROWERS,

A SPORT THAT REQUIRESBRUTE STRENGTH

TO HURLA NINE-POUND METAL BALL

AS FAR AS ONE CAN.

THE GIRLSWERE GETTING THEIR HURL ON,

BUT THEN ONE GOT AWAY

AND MET UPWITH THE NEW JANITOR.

- THE TEMPLE ISAN EXTREMELY VULNERABLE PART

OF THE HUMAN SKULL.

WHEN THIS HEAVY BALL HITTHE RIGHT SIDE OF HIS TEMPLE,

IT CREATEDAN IMMEDIATE FRACTURE

AND TEAROF A MAJOR BLOOD VESSEL.

IT CAUSED SEVEREINTRACRANIAL INJURY

AND IMMEDIATE DEATH.

announcer:INSTEAD OF PERVING OUT,

CHESTER,THE SCHOOL'S NEW JANITOR,

SHOULD HAVE CLEANED UPHIS ACT.

UP NEXT, SKATEBOARDINGIS NOT A CRIME...

- OH!

announcer: BUT NEITHERIS DYING.

AND...- SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!

announcer: A CORPORATE TRAINERGOES OFF THE DEEP END.

- AAH!

announcer: IT'S AN OLD STORY.

A YOUNG PRODIGYWITH THE POTENTIAL

TO BE THE BEST IN THE WORLD

FRITTERS HIS LIFEAND TALENT AWAY

WITH BOOZE AND DRUGS.

SAY HELLO TO BRANDON,

THE ONCE AND FUTURE KINGOF SKATEBOARDING,

AND NOW A BURNT-OUT HAS-BEEN.

HE STILL HASHIS SKATING CHOPS,

BUT THESE DAYS, HE SPENDS HISTIME TERRORIZING PEDESTRIANS...

- GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!- OH!

announcer:AND BAITING SECURITY GUARDS.

- GET OUT!

- GO! GET OUT OF HERE!

- WHY DON'T YOU GETA REAL JOB?

announcer: KIDS USED TO LOOKUP TO BRANDON.

THEY ALL WANTEDTO BE HIM.

NOW THEY JUST SCOREWEED OFF OF HIM

AND TAG ALONGWHILE HE GETS WASTED.

- YOU KNOW, I'VE PROBABLY KNOWNWAY TOO MANY GUYS

THAT HAD ALL THE SKILL THERE,ALL THE TALENT,

BUT BLEW IT ON, YOU KNOW,DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

AND PARTYING AND STUFF.

IT'S JUST, UH, UNFORTUNATE,BUT IT HAPPENS A LOT.

announcer: ON A DAYLIKE ANY OTHER

FOR THE WASTED WONDER BOY,

BRANDON WAS SHOWINGFLASHES OF HIS OLD SELF,

BUT AN UNSEEN ROCKBROUGHT HIM BACK TO REALITY.

- [gasps]

announcer: SENT HIM FLYINGTHROUGH THE AIR,

AND LANDED HIM IN A BIG SECTIONOF FRESH CEMENT.

THE IMPACT KNOCKEDHIM OUT COLD,

AND BRANDON WASABOUT TO BECOME

A PERMANENT PARTOF THE SIDEWALK.

WET CEMENT SOLIDIFIESTHROUGH A CHEMICAL PROCESS

CALLED HYDRATION.

UNFORTUNATELY FOR BRANDON,

IT WAS QUICK-DRY CEMENT,

AND WITHIN A FEW MINUTES,

THE UNCONSCIOUS SKATEBOARDERWAS SET IN STONE.

- WHEN BRANDON WENT FACE-FIRSTINTO THE WET CEMENT

AND TOOK A DEEP BREATH,

HE BASICALLY SUCKED INALL OF THAT WET CEMENT.

THIS CLOGGED UPHIS AIRWAY PASSAGES,

AND WITHIN APPROXIMATELY60 SECONDS,

HE HAD NO MORE ABILITYTO HAVE ANY AIR INTO HIS LUNGS,

HIS HEART STOPPED,AND HE WAS DEAD.

announcer: ONCE UPON A TIME...

- GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!- OH!

announcer: BRANDON WASTHE NEXT "IT" GUY

IN THE SKATEBOARDING WORLD.

- GET AWAY FROM ME!

announcer: NOW HE WAS JUSTANOTHER...

- [gasps]

announcer: DEAD GUY.

TODAY IS HAROLD'S FIRST DAYON THE JOB

AS BALLZZ INDUSTRIES'NEW CORPORATE TRAINER.

HAROLD EARNED HIS POSITIONTHE OLD-FASHIONED WAY--

HIS DAD OWNS THE COMPANY.

- COMPANIES HAVECORPORATE OUTINGS

WITH TEAM-BUILDING EXERCISESFOR ONE SPECIFIC REASON,

AND THAT IS TO BOOSTCOMPANY MORALE.

IF YOU REALLY DON'T KNOWWHAT YOU'RE DOING,

IT COULD HAVETHE COMPLETE OPPOSITE EFFECT.

WE WANT TO BUILDTEAM MORALE,

NOT BUILD HATRED.

- ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,THE THEME FOR THE DAY IS TRUST.

COME ON OVER, EVERYBODY.

HERE WE GO.

announcer:HAROLD GOT THE BALL ROLLING

WITH SOME TEAM BUILDINGTRUST FALLS.

- YEAH, COME ON.YOU, COME ON, RIGHT OVER HERE.

announcer: A PERSON ALLOWSTHEMSELF TO FALL BACKWARDS

TRUSTING SOMEONEWILL BE THERE TO CATCH THEM.

- ALL RIGHT,ON THE COUNT OF THREE,

YOU FALL BACK,I CATCH YOU.

VERY SIMPLE, ALL RIGHT?

IT'LL BE ONE, TWO, THREE,

AND THEN SHE'LL FALL BACKAND I'LL CATCH HER.

announcer: THIS GUY WAS A BUSTWHEN IT CAME TO TRUST.

- NEXT WE HAVE SUMO!

announcer:DONNING A SUMO SUIT

AND RAMMING THE HELLOUT OF A CO-WORKER...

- HUH! HUH!

COME ON! YAH!

announcer: IS SUPPOSEDTO BE FUN.

- AAH! GAH!

GIMME SOME! GIMME SOME!

announcer: BUT HAROLDJUST WANTED TO PROVE

THAT HE WAS THE BEST.

- COME ON! HAH!

AW, FORGET IT.

I'M NOT FEELING IT.

JEN, GET IN THERE.

announcer:JEN HAD BARELY RECOVERED

FROM HER TRUST FALL

WHEN SHE FOUND HERSELFTHE TARGET AGAIN.

- HIGH-FIVES, COME ON!

announcer: AND SHE WASN'THAPPY ABOUT IT.

- ALL RIGHT,SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!

COME ON!GIVE ME SOMETHING!

GIVE IT TO ME!- AAH!

- YOU GOT NOTHIN'!COME ON!

announcer: DISPLAYINGTHE COMPLETE LACK OF SENSE

HE WAS FAMOUS FOR,

HAROLD SET UP THE SUMO AREAON THE EDGE OF A STEEP CLIFF.

- AAH!

AAH!

announcer: THE NEW JOBSEEMED TO BE WORKING FOR HAROLD.

HE WAS REALLY ON A ROLL.

- AAH!

announcer: MIRACULOUSLY,THE KNUCKLEHEAD SURVIVED.

- YEAH!

WHOO! HA HA!

I DID IT! I DID IT!

AAH!

announcer: BUT HIS CELEBRATIONWAS SHORT-LIVED.

- VIRTUALLY EVERY ORGANCAN BE INJURED

WHEN A PEDESTRIAN'S STRUCKBY A CAR

TRAVELINGAT A HIGH RATE OF SPEED.

IT CANFREQUENTLY BREAK RIBS,

CAUSE A TRAUMATIC INJURYTO THE LUNGS,

AND MAJOR LACERATIONSTO HIS KIDNEYS

CAN CAUSE EXSANGUINATIONAND DEATH.

announcer:HAROLD WAS A RICH MAN'S SON

WHO THOUGHT HE COULD COASTHIS WAY THROUGH LIFE.

- AND THEN SHE'LL FALL BACKAND I'LL CATCH HER.

announcer:UNTIL HE PUT ON A SUMO SUIT...

- AAH!

announcer: FELL DOWN A CLIFF,

GOT HIT BY A CAR,

AND DIED.

WHEN YOU'RE OUT ALONEIN THE WILD,

MOTHER NATURECAN BE A REAL BITCH.

COMING UP.

- I'M DEEP INSIDETHE CAMBODIAN JUNGLE

ON DAY 64OF MY SURVIVAL EXPEDITION.

MOTHER NATURE WANTS ME DEAD,

BUT INSTEAD, I'M GONNAPUNCH HER RIGHT IN THE FACE.

COME ON.

announcer:THERE'S TWO WAYS TO RESPOND

TO ALL THOSE SURVIVE IN THE WILDTYPE SHOWS ON TELEVISION.

- YOU DIE JUST LIKE THAT.

announcer: THE SMART WAY,

JUST REMAIN SEATEDAND KEEP WATCHING,

AND THE STUPID.

- I CAN DO THIS.

announcer: MEET BOBBY.

- YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW MANYTHINGS ARE EDIBLE OUT HERE.

announcer: THERE'S NOTHINGMORE DANGEROUS

THAN A DELUSIONALCOUCH POTATO.

- "EAT PLANTS."

I CAN TOTALLY DO THIS.

announcer: HE SET OUTTO DOCUMENT HIMSELF

SURVIVING IN THE WILDERNESS.

- THIS IS NICE.

announcer: WHEN YOU'RE OUTWHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE,

IT'S NOT JUST THE ANIMALSYOU HAVE TO WATCH OUT FOR.

- IT'S LIKE A GARDENOF EDIBLE PLANTS.

GONNA MAKE MYSELFA LITTLE SPRING MIX SALAD,

WHICH IS REALLY TASTY.

- A PERSON MUST BE CAUTIOUS

WHEN CONSIDERING WILD PLANTSAS A FOOD SOURCE.

UH, SOME PLANTS ARE DEADLYAND EASY TO MISIDENTIFY.

AN INDIVIDUAL SHOULD NOTCONSIDER EATING

WILD VEGETATIONAFTER WATCHING A TV SHOW.

announcer: THINGS THAT LOOKGOOD ENOUGH TO EAT ON TV...

- [panting]

announcer: CAN TURN OUT TO BEBAD ENOUGH TO KILL YOU

IN REAL LIFE.

- [groaning]

OHH!

announcer: THAT SPRING MIX SALADBOBBY ATE

WAS ACTUALLY A LETHALCOMBINATION OF TOXIC PLANTS

THAT DELIVEREDA TRIPLE DEATH WHAMMY

TO THE IGNORANT OUTDOORSMAN.

OLEANDER, WHICH AFFECTSTHE CARDIAC CYCLE

AND CAUSES HEART PALPITATIONS,

FOXGLOVE, WHICH HITSTHE GASTROINTESTINAL REGION

RESULTING IN VOMITINGAND DIARRHEA,

AND, FINALLY, HEMLOCK,

ONE OF THE MOST POISONOUS PLANTSFOUND IN ALL OF NATURE.

- HIS BODY WOULD WITNESSA SERIES

OF VERY VIOLENT REACTIONSTO THESE PLANT TOXINS.

BASICALLY WHAT HAPPENSIS A PARALYSIS

OF THE MUSCLES SURROUNDINGTHE HEART,

WHICH LEADS TO STARVATIONOF THE LUNGS OF OXYGEN,

AND SUBSEQUENTLY STARVATIONOF THE BRAIN OF OXYGEN.

announcer: IN THIS BATTLEBETWEEN MAN AND NATURE...

- I'M GONNA PUNCHMOTHER NATURE IN THE FACE.

announcer:BOBBY WENT IN UNARMED.

- [groaning]

announcer: AND NEVER CAME OUT.

Captioning by CaptionMaxwww.captionmax.com

- ♪ IT'S ORIGINAL

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