SPIKE Collection - Best Week Ever

Tyra and Little Person Boobs

Tyra interviews a new mom/little person and proceeds to comment on her little person boobies.

Runtime: 00 hrs 00 min 36 sec

Dr. Phil's Fat Swearing Rant

On a recent episode of Dr. Phil, he reads a list of names that a woman calls her overweight husband.

Runtime: 00 hrs 00 min 26 sec

Richard Simmons on Kimmel's 1000th Episode

Richard Simmons made an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live to celebrate his 1000th episode.

Runtime: 00 hrs 07 min 16 sec

The Kardashian's Guide to Periods

Not since Tina Yothers' breakout best seller "Being Your Best: Tina Yothers' Guide for Girls" has a particular Hollywood moment done so much to help America's pre-pubescy little ones like Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Kim, who became famous thanks to that Ray J sex tape that has forever been emblazoned on our retinas, has taken it upon herself to teach her little sister the ways of puberty. While the easiest way to explain puberty would be to just show her sister her sex tape, a more sisterly way would be to start at a lady's "time of the month" or "moon cycle." Which is what she does... And let's just say, it's not everyday you hear the words "when blood comes out of the vagina" uttered by a 10 year old. Thanks again for the memories, Kardashian family and, of course, Bruce Jenner.

Runtime: 00 hrs 00 min 52 sec

Misogynist Kid on Maury

Hey twelve-year-old single chicks -- are you looking for a reeeal man? One who'll possess you, keep you in line with a few smacks now and then, and pushes you out of the shower if he feels like taking a shower? Well look no farther -- this future fat camp attendee knows that the key to unlocking a woman's heart is knowing that you are above her and constantly reminding her of that fact:

Runtime: 00 hrs 00 min 50 sec

For Your Consideration: Most Sensuous Front-Butt

OK. You are going to hate me. No, for realsies, if you watch the following video, we'll probably be in a fight the rest of the day. But, the way I see it, if every single person in my office was forced to sit through this yesterday (at my encouragement, of course), you have to as well. Just be happy that I decided to post it after breakfast (albeit, during lunch). What follows is probably the most extraordinary front-butt I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing in person or on any televised program ever before, including, but not limited to, President Skroob. It's a butt... in the front! Pretty convenient, right? But don't thank me. Thank Dr. Phil! Dr. Phil: Because when he has a show on morbid obesity, a front-butt is sure to follow. This is clearly what Britney's mom is upset about, right? Also, I'm sorry.

Runtime: 00 hrs 00 min 39 sec

ICYMI: ESPN Hissy Fit

Watching ESPN uber-professionals Sean Salisbury and John Clayton devolve from obligatory journalistic opposition to actual, obvious hatred of one another in every "Four Downs" segment is always entertaining, but this past week, with the offseason looming, Salisbury turned to a certain deranged, pun-cracking host puppet for one last glorious, season-ending insult. How long do you think he's been waiting for this moment? Since the first minute he met John Clayton, or since the minute he first saw "Tales From The Crypt" and knew he'd eventually meet a nerd who loosely approximated the Keeper's profile?

Runtime: 00 hrs 01 min 48 sec

Price is Right: Fall Edition

Every now and again, on the luckiest of days, a contestant on a game show will become so overwhelmed with emotion and excitement and possibility, that said person's legs will simple cease working and that person will fall directly onto their shining, hopeful face. Well, on this week's President's Day Edition of The Price Is Right, an amazing occurrence happened: Not only did somebody fall once, not twice, and no not three times, but 2 different people fell down a record FOUR TIMES during the course of a single episode. Now, whether or not chubby in the yellow tee set up these trips and falls is up for debate, as is the fact that he is not wearing any underwear, but the last women to eat linoleum most certainly hated herself for it. And that alone makes this clip worth watching! This clip now with more blurred ass crack!

Runtime: 00 hrs 05 min 47 sec

For Your Consideration: Worst Thing to Air on Daytime TV

Courtesy of Tyra Banks. We bring you, simply, the worst thing to air on Daytime Television ever. How pornography like this was shown at TWELVE O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON is completely BEYOND me. And warning: If you don't know what "squashing" means, well, actually, definitely watch this.

Runtime: 00 hrs 00 min 52 sec

ICYMI: Tyra Jumps Around In Her Bra

Three Tyra clips in one week?? We had no choice: if you're keeping track, in a 72-hour span, Tyra has encouraged racial insults on a four-year old, interviewed a dude who gets off on his lover engulfing him in her rolls of fat, and now, in perhaps the most meaningful non-Moon-related moment in television history, she demonstrates a new sports bra that actually holds your boobs in place, whether you're jumping on a trampoline, Double Dutching on a trampoline, or doing Yoga on a trampoline. The future of boob-obstructing fashion is now, people:

Runtime: 00 hrs 01 min 15 sec

Jimmy Kimmel is F**king Ben Affleck

We pity the fools who were too exhausted following tonight's Oscar's telecast to stay awake for Jimmy Kimmel Live's post-Oscar extravaganza. Because tonight, ladies and gentlemen, groundbreaking news: In response to Sarah Silverman's recent admission song entitled "I'm F**king Matt Damon," Kimmel has revealed an altogether more intriguing secret of his own... He is F**king Ben Affleck. For real. They have the spandex biker shirts to prove it. Their love is real America. And if you don't believe them, perhaps you'll believe the other celebrities who took the time to appear in the following mind-blowing music video, including (get ready): Brad Pitt, Robin Williams, Cameron Diaz, Josh Groban (who is amazing), Meatloaf, Dominic Monaghan, a winking Harrison Ford, Macy Gray, Christina Applegate, Joan Jett, McLovin, Don Cheadle, Rebecca Romijn, Pete Wentz, Perry Farrell, Good Charlotte, Lance Bass, and last but never least, Huey Lewis.

Runtime: 00 hrs 04 min 17 sec

For Your Consideration: Worst Game Show Contestant of '08

Much like this game show's theme song insinuates, I truly can't fight the "Temptation", and most afternoons have me watching this Sale of the Century for Re-Re's program daily at 2. Sure, you have to win on the show 16 consecutive times to drive off the set in a brand new Prius, but how else are aspiring actors and waitresses expected to get a new car, you know? And while the prizes aren't great and the host is a less-annoying Mark McGrath lookalike, there IS a legitimate reason to watch Temptation. That reason being that the contestants are some of the stupidest people gracing the streets of Los Angeles. Take the following woman who, in a speed round where players had to guess if a song was by The Rolling Stones and The Beatles, she somehow manages to piss on the legacies of BOTH bands. Which is why we bring you this For Your Consideration: First Game Show Contestant Who Should Be Shot in 2008. Unless The Beatles actually covered "Ruby Tuesday"... in which case, my bad. Don't actually shoot this woman.

Runtime: 00 hrs 01 min 02 sec

Andy Millman on Celebrity

On last Sunday's supersize series finale of Ricky Gervais' short-lived HBO comedy Extras, the surprisingly serious show made up for what lacked in comedy with sheer total awesomeness, such as this classic monologue at the end in which Andy Millman, made miserable by days spent in a Big Brother house with other pseudo-celeb freakshows, has a Network-like on-camera freakout and eloquently states what's what in the world of celebrities. His speech is heartfelt, brutal, and absolutely true. Anyway, it deserves some kind of award.

Runtime: 00 hrs 02 min 19 sec

Unemployment Check: Blue Man Trooper

You may have already caught the blueberry scented wind of this remarkable blue creature on the internet today, but if not, grab some muffin batter and get to watchin' this Today Show clip. We really appreciate how the blonde beard compliments his suffocatingly dashing complexion!

Runtime: 00 hrs 00 min 32 sec

Tila Gives Pole Lessons

During last night's finale of A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, the bisexual dating show hosted by "animatronic lego head with implants" Tila Tequila, where women and men are subjected to salacious dates with the MySpace superstar in an effort to help her figure out whether she's into the train or the tunnel. And while the world at large (read: 15-year-olds who are too young to be watching this) was rooting for lesbian firefighter who looked rather dude-ish Dani, Tila ended up picking Bobby as her "true love." (Don't fret -- they're casting for a new season of the show right now... guess these two weren't MFEO after all!)

In case you missed it last night, we bring you the best clip from the finale, where Tila, in an effort to impress her true love's parents, hops on a stripper pole and demonstrates her hamstring's "kung fu grip." Oh, and her dig ol' bitties manage to fall out of her dress -- they might not be real, but they're definitely pixelated. Our hearts go out to Bobby, who was forced to watch his mom work a pole, a performance that brings to mind "Topeka Truck Stop Strip Joint Circa 1985."

Runtime: 00 hrs 00 min 58 sec

Jews II Men

Boyz II Men are Jewish?? You mean, like Sammy Davis Jr., but there's three of him, and they're gonna be remembered in history three times as long? Sounds cool, and looks like Tyra agrees.

Runtime: 00 hrs 00 min 46 sec

Unemployment Check: Oprah Endorses Farting

Tyra Banks gets pretty low-brow even by her standards when she and Dr. Oz discuss tiny farts, holding in farts, food that causes farts, and smelly oyster farts. Wait -- this clip is from Oprah?? Yeesh.

Runtime: 00 hrs 01 min 07 sec

Tyra and Bow Wow Talk Birds and Bees

Today on everyone's favorite show about vague sexual education, Tyra demonstrates to parents how to talk to your son, Lil' Bow Wow, about sex in a frank and straightforward manner. With gardening metaphors.

Runtime: 00 hrs 01 min 10 sec

Sasha the Dog/Person

As much as I'd like to argue that this woman's dog is a dog and not a human child, she makes a pretty strong case; I mean, it barks, which is just like speaking, and it has clothes put on it sometime, so, well, there you go. Between My-Dog-Is-A-Human Woman, Dick Masterson the Town Misogynist, and Religious Woman Who's Glad Her Friend's Baby Was Born Retarded, Dr. Phil is turning into a veritable Ocean's Eleven of awesome people I'd love to hang out with.

Runtime: 00 hrs 01 min 40 sec

Joan Rivers Outs Jodie Foster

Joan Rivers was featured throughout the fourth hour of The Today Show this morning, and honestly, we wish we could post each segment, as they were seriously Brill Paxton. So, as we are forced into choosing one of many amazing moments, we've decided to run with this clip, where Joan Rivers manages to get Oda Mae Brown... err, make that Hoda Kotb and Natalie Morales to OUT Jodie Foster as a lesbian. It was only after they looked desperately into the camera with a look of sheer panic that Joan rescues the situation by calling Tom Cruise gay. She's a legend for a reason, people.

Runtime: 00 hrs 00 min 27 sec