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Posted November 13, 2009 | 3 comments

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The Top Seven Foods That Will Kick Your Ass

It’s absolutely nuts that people will eat products that are rotting, bug-infested, still kicking and screaming, or just plain poisonous and call it cuisine. Some of these so-called delicacies are dangerous, while some can leave you feeling like you’ve done 10 rounds. But no matter what it does, it'll be a meal you'll never forget.

Source: Image Source/Getty Images

7. Durian

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Source: Getty Images

The durian fruit has been labeled the worst-smelling fruit in the world. It has been described as smelling like sewage, stale vomit, skunk spray, and used surgical swabs – and that’s being kind. Food writer Richard Sterling says “its odor is best described as pig-s***, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock,” while Anthony Bourdain likens eating the fruit to “French kissing your dead grandmother.” You’d think this would be reason enough to steer clear of this strange looking fruit. But no. For some reason this fruit, which originates from Southeast Asia, is revered and known there as “the king of fruits.” I suppose if you’re able to stomach it, you become a king of sorts.

The pungent smell of the fruit is so bad and strong that the fruit is banned in many hotels, subways, airports, and public transportation systems across the region. If you ride the subway in Singapore you’ll clearly see signs strictly forbidding consumption of the fruit. Don’t even think about trying to sneak a bite of this ghastly fruit, as the smell will undoubtedly give you away.

The fruit’s odor is so pungent that it can be detected half a mile away by animals, luring deer, elephants, and even tigers. You’d think the smell would turn the animals off, but it’s quite the opposite. They are attracted to it and will seek it out. So if you’re in Southeast Asia and crack open a durian, don’t be surprised if a tiger turns up, you get arrested, or your neighbor tries to set you on fire to get rid of the smell.

6. Miracle Fruit

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Source: The Berry Fairy

The miracle fruit will play with your mind and lull you into a full sense of security. The miracle of the fruit is that it makes sour foods magically taste sweeter. On the surface, the berry from West Africa seems very normal, even bland. It’s the color of a cranberry, the size of an almond, and has a flavorless gummy taste.  But it’s the pulp of the berry that produces its taste-altering powers. The berry works its magic by coating the tongue with a glycoprotein molecule called miraculin, causing sour or acidic foods to taste delightfully sweet. The effects of the berry last from 15 minutes up to an hour. The berry makes tart lemons taste sweet, gives hot sauce a honey-like flavor, and makes vinegar taste like sweet wine.

The berry was first introduced to the western world in 1725 by French explorer Chevalier des Marchais. There was a push in the 1970s to commercially mass produce the berry as a sugar substitute, but the sugar industry bitterly lobbied the FDA not to approve it as a sweetener, fearing it would severely damage their industry.

The berry has had somewhat of a renaissance in the last two years as people organize tasting parties to test out the strange fruit. The fruit costs about $2 a berry or can be bought in pill form for about $30 a packet. The parties may be fun, but after consuming endless amounts of hot sauce, vinegar, and other acidic foods your stomach can turn into an acid factory, leaving you very sick and uncomfortable. It may be a miracle, but this fruit will leave you cursing God’s name.

5. Hákarl

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Source: Chris_73/Wikipedia/Creative Commons

Sir, How would you like your shark prepared tonight? May we suggest serving it in the Icelandic tradition… rotten.

Hákarl is a ghastly-tasting and smelling Icelandic dish made from rotting shark -- a gourmet delicacy that dates back to Viking times. It’s made from the Greenland or Basking shark. In its natural state the shark contains high levels of uric acid and trimethylamine oxide, toxic chemicals that need to be removed from the shark to make the meat suitable for human consumption.

The removal process is simple: the shark meat is left out in the open to rot for about two months. As the meat decomposes, toxic ammonia oozes out. The meat is then hung and dried for a further four months, when it is "ready" for humans to munch on. If the shark meat was not treated in this manner it would cause serious illness or even death.

The smell of the food is so bad that first-timers are told to pinch their nose when trying it. Anthony Bourdain, who has travelled the world and tasted plenty of strange dishes, calls hákarl “the single worst, most disgusting, and terrible tasting thing" he has ever eaten. It is an acquired taste that has been described as similar to eating human urine. Bon Appetite!

4. Bhut Jolokia

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Source: AFP/Getty Images

It is said that eating an entire Bhut Jolokia chili is “akin to swigging a cocktail of battery acid and glass shards.” In 2007 the little known chili pepper from the backwaters of India knocked the Red Savina habaneros chili from the top spot, entering the Guinness Book of Records as the hottest chili pepper in the world.

According to researchers from New Mexico State University, the institute who discovered the pepper in an academic sense, the Bhut Jolokia literally burns its nearest competitor when it comes to hotness. On the Scoville scale, which measures the heat or piquancy of a chili pepper by measuring the amount of capsaicin it contains, the Bhut Jolokia pepper scored an impressive 1,001,304 Scoville Heat units (SHUs). This is almost double the SHUs of Red Savina, which measures a mere 577,000. That makes the pepper nearly twice as hot as the Red Savina habanero and more that 200 times hotter than the jalapeno.

Bhut Jolokia is not for the faint-hearted. It literally translates to "ghost pepper" and is said to have gotten this name because it’s so hot that “you give up the ghost when you eat it." It’s also known as the “King Cobra Chile” because its fierce "bite" is similar to the venom of a king cobra.

The pepper is so strong and intense that workers who farm it must wear goggles, face masks, head cover, and protective clothing. Earlier this year India's Defense Research and Development Organization announced its plans to include the chili in hand grenades as a way to control rioters. Yikes!

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